Breastfeeding Problems Latching

I am a mother to two breastfed kids. I breastfed my first for 1 1/2 years and the second for 3 years. However, breastfeeding was not smooth sailing for me, not at first. My main breastfeeding problem was latching my babies, both of them.

You would think that by the second time, with my experience of breastfeeding for 1 1/2 years, things would be easier and I would no longer have any baby latching problems while breastfeeding but that is not the case.

My second baby took 2 months before learning to latch on. I think breastfeeding moms lack support.

Plenty of support especially Practical Support is Essential during the early part of breastfeeding. I can't stress that enough.

Top 5 Breastfeeding Help Sites

These are the 5 sites that helped me the most during breastfeeding.

1. KellyMom
2. Dr. Jack Newman's Articles
3. Breastfeeding.com
4. La La Leche International
5. Breastfeeding Stories

I will tell you about each of them as you scroll down this page.

1. KellyMom - THE place to go for help

To me, KellyMom.com is THE place to go for breastfeeding help. It is very comprehensive and detailed and has help in almost all the areas or problems you may encounter during breastfeeding.

If you are planning to breastfeed, go to Kellymom and bookmark that page. You will be returning to it again and again to read about various issues you may face during breastfeeding.

If you can, read up as much as you can even BEFORE you start to breastfeed to prepare yourself for what is to come.'

2. Dr Jack Newman's Articles
Read Dr Jack Newman's Articles. They are available for download free on pdf.

I love this man even though I have not met him and never will. I love Dr Jack Newman's Breastfeeding Articles. They are so helpful and he makes them available for free.

During the time when I had so many problems latching baby and I felt like giving up everyday. Every day I struggled with my decision to carry on breastfeeding. It was this statement from Dr Jack Newman's Article that kept me going.

"The single most important factor influencing whether or not the baby latches on is the mother's developing a good milk supply. If the mother's supply is abundant, the baby will latch on by 4 to 8 weeks of life no matter what. "

This is the article with the statement above that helped me persevere when baby just won't latch on no matter what.

When The Baby Refuses To Latch On

3. Breastfeeding.com has a vast question and answer center

If you have any breastfeeding questions, then be sure to check out Breastfeeding.com. They have a huge resource of Breastfeeding Q & A, also called The Breastfeeding Answer Center to answer all the questions you may have on breastfeeding including your latching problems.

Commonly asked breastfeeding questions and naturally included plus you will find other not so common questions too like questions on illness or surgery and questions on fenugreek and other herbs etc.

4. Get Help and Tips from La La Leche International

La La Leche International is probably the most recognized and known breastfeeding help centre internationally. They have local chapters all over the world to support breastfeeding mothers.

What I like most on the La La Leche International website is the Breastfeeding Answers From La La Leche International page.

I also recommend this other breastfeeding resource page on their site. Go here to Download Past Issues of Breastfeeding Today Magazine. Breastfeeding Today is an international magazine with inspiring stories plus helpful information, news and reviews for expectant parents.

5. Breastfeeding Stories

I had a very difficult time breastfeeding, especially with latching baby. I found that reading success story from other breastfeeding mothers really helped me. Here is the page which I often visited to read the breastfeeding stories. It is not a very known page. In fact, it is rather old, with the last update made on 21 September 1999! However, I really hope that they keep the page and don't take it down because it has been really useful to me and I know it will be useful to other breastfeeding mothers who face difficulties in breastfeeding. Reading breastfeeding stories is a form of support.

I also wrote my own breastfeeding story in a booklet. It is called "I Didn't Know Breastfeeding Would Be So Hard." Hopefully, by sharing my story, I will be able to help and support other mothers who have latching problems.

If you have problems don't be afraid to ask for help!

If you have breastfeeding problems, ask for help! Reach out to your immediate support circle. If you don't have a support circle or the people around you are not supportive of your breastfeeding, ask for help online. Join a breastfeeding forum. You can also ask for help by submitting your questions to some of the breastfeeding sites like Breastfeeding.com and La La Leche International which have a form for you to fill up with your personal breastfeeding question if your question isn't already answered in their Breastfeeding Answer pages.

This is the site I used to ask for help when I desperately needed answers. It is called All Experts.com. Here is their breastfeeding help page. On it, you will see the breastfeeding experts with their biodata and the past answers from that expert. All you need to do is choose the expert you would like to Ask Your Breastfeeding Question, then post your breastfeeding question to the expert of your choice by filling up a form. You can also ask your question from different experts so that you can make better decisions with more answers.

That was what I did. I asked this question. Help! My Baby Is Still Not Latching On At Six Weeks!. I was so desperate, I asked this question to 6 different experts. I was very grateful for all their help. You can view my question and the helpful answers here.

Looking Good
It is important to take care of yourself, mentally, physically and make an effort with your appearance as usual. It will boost your morale when you are feeling down and having breastfeeding problems

Perhaps this is a little out of topic but I just want to remind all breastfeeding mothers especially those who have problems breastfeeding that you must continue to make the effort to look good and take care of yourself during this time.

This thought came to me when I saw this beautiful breastfeeding poncho that will keep you looking good while allowing you to breastfeed baby discreetly.

I'm afraid I didn't make the effort to look good. I practically lived in my pajamas. Not looking good contributed to my feeling unhappy about my initial failure in breastfeeding. Not looking good did not help make me feel better about having difficulty getting my baby to latch on. If I could do it over again, I would take better care of myself and make an effort not to look like something the cat dragged in or as if I had just woken up half the time!

Blog Posts

You can also visit my blog Mothering Times to read some breastfeeding blog posts of mine. I am not an expert, just a mother who had a lot of difficulty breastfeeding but I did face and wrote about some issues like cup feeding, mastitis, etc. Funnily, one of the most popular posts on my blog is My Period Returned Early Even Though I Breastfeed :). I wrote it in 2006 and I still get many visitors for that post till today.

If you would like to help support another breastfeeding mother, why not share your story too? I will help you to post your story online by publishing it on my "Breastfeeding Stories" category on my blog. Here are the breastfeeding stories submission rules.

One of the ways to support another mother during breastfeeding is by sharing your story. If you have had difficulty of problems breastfeeding you will naturally want to do that. It makes me happy to be able to share and help another new mom, even if I don't know her or may never ever meet her because I know that all breastfeeding mothers need support. Support is something that we can't get enough of but sadly is sometimes just not enough.

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What To Expect When You're Expecting Giveaway

I mentioned in my earlier post that I will be doing a giveaway soon. For those of you who are waiting, here it is. :) First, I will tell you a little about what I'm giving away.


1. What To Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel


This is really the mother of pregnancy books. Although the title states What To Expect When You're Expecting, the book actually begins with a chapter on Preconception Preparation For Moms and ends with What To Expect After The Baby is Born.

This should give you an idea about just how comprehensive this pregnancy book is as it covers topics from BEFORE till AFTER pregnancy.

The pregnancy months are covered in detail too with What To Expect for each month of pregnancy including FAQs at each stage which I love! There is also a section for dads, for those Expecting Multiples and a part on pregnancy complications.

2. What To Expect The First Year by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway, B.S.N.


The first series in the What To Expect Books includes What To Expect Postpartum up to The First Six Weeks including breastfeeding.

The What To Expect The First Year carries on in the same style but offering much more detail reading material on breastfeeding, your newborn baby and what you may be concerned about.

From there it goes on to tell you What To Expect for each month of your baby's growth and covers all aspects and any questions you may have about your baby and you including doctor visits and What To Expect, birthweight, feeding, bonding, caring for baby, stimulating baby, sleeping, teething, and much more. I can't possibly describe it all. It is very detailed and comprehensive, an excellent guide for families. I'm not surprised it is America's Bestselling Childcare Series and has sold over 9 million copies.

3. What To Expect The Second Year by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel


This What To Expect The Second Year book covers all aspects of parenting your child from 12 to 24 months from the first birthday to the second.

You will find that as your child grows, new challenges emerge and you will be learning all the time as a parent. This third book in the What To Expect series helps you to understand your toddler better... from head to toe.

You will learn about picky issues, temper tantrums, discipline, health and safety and whether your child's development is on track. There is also a whole chapter on treating toddler injuries which I find very useful as well.

Note: Expectant mums or new moms can check out the What To Expect website to read more and interact with other moms.

What To Expect From This Giveaway

1. 1. This Giveaway is open worldwide.
2. 2. Two winners will receive 1 set each of all the 3 books in the What To Expect Series
3. 3. Complete the Rafflecopter form below and follow the instructions on the form to submit your entries. You may submit as many entries as you like to increase your chances of winning.
4. 4. Please provide a valid email address so you can be contacted if you win
5. 5. You will need to reply to the winning email within 48 hours or another winner will be selected
6. 6. This giveaway ends on Thursday, 5th July, 2012.

If you are not familiar with how to enter a rafflecopter giveaway, here is a rafflecopter video demo to show you how. If you prefer, you can ask me a question directly on my Facebook. Good Luck!

UPDATED: THIS GIVEAWAY IS OVER. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2 LUCKY WINNERS 1. LISAN LEOW AND 2. JENG NEPOMUCENO-SILO

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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What To Expect Series of Pregnancy Books

Hello Everyone. As some of my regular readers and followers on facebook know, my birthday was on 15th June. I was really thrilled to receive the What To Expect Series of Pregnancy Books on my birthday. What a delight. This was what I received:

1. What To Expect When You're Expecting

2. What To Expect The First Year

3. What To Expect The Second Year

This was what I received on my birthday! A very lovely present indeed. It is the revised new editions for the What To Expect Series of Pregnancy Books

I'm going to tell you What To Expect from these series of pregnancy books in a later blog post PLUS I'll be running a giveaway soon. Do watch out for it! 

I won't have any trouble telling you what I like about these books because I have the older copies myself. I referred to them frequently during my pregnancies.

These are my older copies of the What To Expect Series Of Pregnancy Books. I loved them and referred to them regularly during both my pregnancies.

In case some of you are wondering why I'm so delighted with pregnancy books, no, I'm not pregnant. However, I am delighted with the books because I think Books don't grow old, people do. The ideas and valuable information in books are evergreen and everlasting. So, crazy though it may sound, since my kids are really still very young now, I plan to keep these pregnancy books for my children and tell them how mom once referred to the books while having them. Do you keep books too?

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Helping Your Child Accept a New Sibling

I haven't had much time to update my blogs recently because I have been busy spending time with my children. It amazes me to see how much they have grown. When I see new babies in a stroller, I think of the time when they were babies. Fortunately, it was not difficult for me to get my then toddler to accept her new baby brother. They do fight a lot these days as most siblings do but they accepted each other and had a really good start.

I've shared how I got my child to accept her new sibling here on my guest post at My Baby Radio.

Will my toddler ever accept our baby? Do hop over to My Baby Radio to read the article.

My Baby Radio is a delightful online radio for families and new parents. You can listen to relevant radio programs for parents on air or if you prefer, you can subscribe to their Baby Blog posts.

Mommy bloggers, if you have a great blog and would like your blog or articles to be featured online at My Baby Radio, feel free to contact Joanne from My Baby Blog.

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Dressing up during Pregnancy

Dressing up during Pregnancy. The celebrities do it. They have no choice. They have an image to maintain for fans. Besides, they probably have wardrobe and image consultants plus body and make-up specialists not to mention assistants to make sure not a hair or hem is out of place but what about us ordinary folks?

Bad Morning Sickness

Dressing up during pregnancy is a chore, well for me at least. It would take considerable effort for me to look presentable and good during pregnancy. Forget about looking like the ever lovely Angelica Jolie pictured above.

This was especially more so because I had very bad morning sickness during my pregnancies. Not just in the mornings as its name seem to suggest but all through the day AND night, each and EVERY day. There was no letting up!

Comfortable Maternity Clothes = Ugly?

I remember one of my favourite outfits during my first pregnancy was a  navy blue, small checked dress. It looked rather like a table cloth but it was comfortable and cooling (very important!). I wore it all the time, even though it did make me look like a walking table cloth!

Then there was this oversized yellow T-shirt that was a hand me down. The wearer before me had found it to be comfortable too so she passed it on to me. It was old and being a T-shirt, the hem had become out of shape as the rest of me were.

When you are worrying about whether you can keep down your next meal, you wouldn't have the energy nor the inclination to worry about your looks, believe me. Where to throw up without making too much of a mess was my at the top of my worry list then, not how I look.

I wish I had known about barf bags!

I did it in the car, in the drain, at the malls and anywhere else which was convenient and nearest before the "volcano" errupted. I hear they sell barf bags now like the airsickness bags they have on airplanes. How convenient. In my time, I had to carry a plastic bag along with me all the time. Once I had to take my plastic bag out in the middle of the traffic lights in town during a traffic jam!

Another time, I had brussel sprouts and before I knew it, I had to pick brussel sprouts from out of my nostrils because I had had the most violent projectile vomit I ever experienced. They don't call it "projectile" for nothing!

Dressing up during pregnancy? Hah! I choose comfort anytime. Can you tell that I am not of those lucky types which simply glowed during pregnancy?

Shoes for Pregnant Ladies - Heels or Flats?

What about shoes? No heels for me that is for sure. I remember I wore the lowes of heels to work and I had to walk down the hill and across the road from my carpark to my office every morning at the time. One morning, I was walking down the hill as usual when SPLAT!

I had to consult my gynae and worried for weeks about the baby after that fall during my first pregnancy. Your centre of gravity shifts during pregnancy so balance it up with good shoes. Heels during pregnancy are a no-no. I threw out my heels after that and wore flatties. Besides there are many nice looking ballerina flats these days.

Comfortable Maternity Clothes = Not Ugly!

I smartened up during my second pregnancy. By then, the maternity clothes became trendier and with "smarter technology" haha. They had trousers and skirts that could expand magically to fit  your expanding body. So I had the chance to look a bit more presentable as I was able to select some nicer mix and matched outfits with prettier blouses in sweet and bright shades to match those magic expandable bottoms. I said goodbye to my blue checked navy cloth dress but still wore it occassionally because it was really comfortable and cooling.

If you are pregnant, remember the most important thing is your baby and your comfort. Do remember to take care of yourself. If you really have no energy, it is ok if you don't look like a celebrity. Don't feel miserable about it. It is only a short time in your life and before you know it, you can dress up again. Or you can get one of those magic expandable outfits and mix them around like me and still look presentable. :)

However, be warned, that high heels aren't exactly the kind of shoes made for chasing after a toddler but then that is another story. Don't be scared off by this. Everything will be worth it. When you gaze at your newborn, such frivilous matters like  how you look will slip to the back of your mind. Really!

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Pregnancy and Bringing Up Babies

In my mother's time, women used to have extended families living together. It was easy to get information about pregnancy and bringing up babies. You simply relied on your own mother, aunty, mother-in-law, sister, or grandmother. They would be around to advise and help. You don't feel at a loss because you live together and there is usually another experienced female member within the family who is always willing to help out.

However, in my time, I don't have the luxury of being able to depend on relatives to help out. I rely heavily on the internet instead to get the information and network with other new parents.

If you are in the same situation, you can check out Babies Base for the information you need about pregnancy and bringing up your babies or toddlers.

You can network with other parents in the baby and pregnancy forum to ask any questions you have about pregnancy and babies.

If you are a person on the go and prefer quick information, you can also follow Babies Base on Twitter.

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Its easier now that the kids are 4 & 6

My kids are 4 and 6 and its so much easier now. I remember when they were newborns, babies then toddlers. Life was much harder then! Especially life with a newborn AND a toddler without any help. I had to prioritise. My priorities back then were.....

1. Babies
2. Housework
3. Cooking (accept for my babies)

I gave priority to my babies first. Looking after my babies always came first. They were what mattered the most. I had a very hard time breastfeeding my babies. So that took up a lot of my time. Life seemed to go by in a frenzy of feeding after feeding after feeding. Everytime I finished pumping, storing, trying to breastfeed unsuccessfully, cup feeding, sterilizing, then it was time for another feed! It was crazy but we did it in the end. We managed to breastfeed successfully after the first 2 months of frenzied feeding and went on to breastfeed for 1 1/2 years for the first and 3 years for the second baby.

Housework came second and cooking third accept cooking for my babies because I wanted them to eat fresh nutritious foods cooked by me not foods that came out of a jar. Afterall, we try to avoid canned food for its less than nutritious value. So why should our babies eat jar food? So I made them myself and that was very time consumming.

However, I had no time to cook for the adults ie my husband and myself. Each evening after work, my husband would drive to the economy rice shop near my house and tapau or pack home 3 packets of rice with dishes. 2 packets were for our dinner. I kept 1 packet in the fridge to be reheated in the microwave the next day for my lunch.

It was a pretty unhealthy way to eat, especially at a time when I was recovering from birth and was supposed to be looking after myself better but I had no choice. I couldn't cope with everything so I had to cut corners and that was one of the ways.

As for housework, I always felt that it was not very important. As long as we did a quick wipe and don't let it get too dirty for hygiene purposes, I didn't have to have a house with shiny floors and shelves. I had a motto. "A place for everything and everything in its place." I kept to that and at least we didn't have the clutter that would drive one mad.

I'm writing this because I feel overwhelmed again with so much things to be done. But before I go and rant and complain, I should look back to how much harder it was back then. Now, the kids are older and eat the same foods as we do so I don't have to cook special foods for them anymore. I even have a live in house helper now so I don't have to do much housework accept supervise and help out a bit here and there and whenever I cook, I have someone to prepare before and clean up afterwards for me. Yes, I should be thankful instead of complain about how overwhelmed I am with my todo list. :)

Now, I even have time to read a book or a magazine in between rushing. And sometimes I have time to dress up when we go out. I can even wear heels again. Haha. It was impossible to wear heels when you are carrying a baby and chasing a toddler at the same time. It was foolhardy. But now I can wear heels again, frivolous though this may sound, its just another thing or part of me that I have managed to reclaim after the babies came along and I became lost in babyworld.

And for all new moms who happen to be passing by and reading this. Remember to treasure the early days even though it may be hard. They grow up so fast and soon you will have more time to yourself again. :)

Related posts:

Life with a newborn and a toddler
Life with a 3 year old and a 5 year old

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An Internet Radio Station for New Parents

The other day I was reading a story to my little girl. The story was about computers and how useful it is to people. As I was reading the story, I was explaining to her about how we use our own computer at home.

We use it to store our photos, we use it as a dictionary or reference, we use it to watch short video clips of news or cartoons, we use to play games. Why, we even use it to tell the time! Lol! We use it to listen to the radio too and of course I must not forget blogs. We use it to blog and read blogs. We use it for networking too judging from the number of social networking sites recently.

Since this blog is for mothers, new and old, I'd like to highlight to you a radio site for New Parents. A Station you can listen to for Baby Information, it is called My Baby Radio.Com Its an Internet radio station for new parents. Imagine that. A Radio Station dedicated to all things baby. How lovely.

It has competitions, blogs, podcasts, online chats etc. You can listen to interviews with celebrity parents, parenting experts and real mums and dads. Fellow bloggers can post comments on the site as well. The Site is updated daily while the radio station is updated on a weekly basis.

Blogger mommies and daddies can submit your sites for inclusion in the Parenting Blogs Directory on the site.

Happy Listening or perhaps Happy Participating would be the more correct word to use. :)

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Advice for new parents - Find a good paeditrician for your baby

I received lots of advise before I became a mum but somehow no one told me this.

"Find a good paeditrician for your baby even before your baby is born."

So there I was, my baby born and my gynae whom I had been seeing for 9 months asked me. Do you have a paeditrician of your choice? I said "No." and she asked "So is it ok with you if we put you on one of the hospital's panel of paeditrician?" to which I said "Ok." I was to go back to see the paeditrician again in two week's time (and many more times during baby's first year for immunization jabs and check-ups. That was something I didn't realise until I became a mum and nobody told me so).

At the second week's check-up. My baby had lost a lot of weight (instead of regaining her birth weight as babies are supposed to) due to my problems breastfeeding. (She had lost a shocking 25% of her weight to be precise). I was in a state of stress. Baby was not feeding well. The paeditrician came and told me to "just give baby milk powder" and he treated baby like a slab of meat the way he undressed her and put her on the cold examining table and turned her this way and that. I was horrified and never went back again!

Fortunately, I found a good paeditrician after that. One who taught me how to breastfeed, who was good with children and answered our questions, fears and doubts (of a new parent) patiently.

I can't believe it but in a blink of an eye, we have been seeing this paeditrician for 5 years now. We have to wait a long time to see her each visit but we don't mind because we had been given that much time with her too when our babies were newborn. So, one advise I have for new parents or parents to be is.......

"Find a good paeditrician for your baby." You're going to be seeing this person a lot during the first year of baby's life.

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Recommended Breastfeeding Links for mums intending to breastfeed

I did some housekeeping for this blog recently and trimmed away the unnecessary. I have decided to put in the following links which used to sit on my sidebar as a separate post instead because I think it will be more helpful and easier to find for mother's searching for information and help on breastfeeding.

So here it is, the sites I used frequently and found particularly useful during my breastfeeding days. I would certainly recommend it to all mothers to be who are planning to breastfeed their babies.

I had a lot of difficulties breastfeeding both my babies. If you have difficulties and would like to talk to me, you can email me at mumsgather@gmail.com You can read about my breastfeeding journey from the difficult first moments right up to the tears free weaning by browsing through the breastfeeding category on this blog.

Breastfeeding Links

• kellymom.com - A very good and detailed resource on breastfeeding. I referred to it again and again especially the parts on breastfeeding and medication (because I was prescribed antibiotics several times to treat my mastitis infection) and the use of nipple shields when I was considering one. However these are not the only subjects you can find. Like I said its a very comprehensive breastfeeding site and I recommend it to all mums who are preparing to breastfeed or are breastfeeding

• La Leche League International - A place to get help locally by finding the local chapters near you


• Breastfeeding.com - Another good breastfeeding resource


• Breastfeeding Stories - The stories from the other mothers who faced difficulties inspired and encouraged me through the difficult moments. I printed those who had similiar problems as me and read through their success stories to encourage myself


• Breastfeeding Handouts by Dr Newman - I love this man and his free handouts. Some of the techniques described are really valuable to me. I read the handout "When baby refuses to latch on" over and over again. His statement that "baby will usually latch on by 8 weeks of age no matter what" kept me going


• Babycentre Buletin Board on Breastfeeding - Read and talk to other mothers going through the same thing as you


• Malaysia's Parenting & Breastfeeding Forum - I'm a Malaysian and this is a good place for Malaysian mothers to get help on breastfeeding

The above sites are not listed in any particular order though my favourites would be kellymom, Dr Newman and the Breastfeeding Stories sites. Whether you are a regular reader or you found this blog through a search engine, I hope it helps you too. I believe that all breastfeeding mothers share a special bond not only with their babies but with all other breastfeeding mothers throughout the world. Cheers!

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Is Air Travel Safe For My Baby? Ask the Captain!

We mothers are worriers.... right from the time we conceive the baby. One common worry among pregnant mothers is whether air travel would be safe for them and their babies. This is a common question most mothers who have to travel would ask their gynaecologists. But why not ask the Captain or pilot too?

Here's what Captain Stacey Chance has to say about flying while pregnant.

It is important to check in advance with your selected airline regarding special regulations concerning pregnant passengers. Many airlines have existing regulations that must be followed closely to ensure the safety of you and your baby. It is important to understand that while airline travel is safe, some special considerations are important to consider while flying during pregnancy.

In 2001, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists released several precautions for pregnant air travelers who suffer from obstetric and/or medical complications. As stated in this news release, most US airlines permit women to fly up to 36 weeks gestation on domestic flights and 35 weeks gestation for international flights. To prevent unforeseen emergencies, pregnant women should avoid air travel with existing medical or obstetric complications, such as pregnancy-induced hypertension, poorly controlled diabetes, sickle cell disease, or if they suffer from a significant risk for premature labor or placental abnormalities (ACOG, 2001). If your personal and pregnant health does not suffer from any complications, you should do well during flight as long as you make a few precautions to increase your comfort level while on the ground and in the air.

If you experience anxiety while flying, the remainder of this course/book's information will help you adjust to flying while pregnant. This information will be helpful for both pregnant and non-pregnant travelers who feel anxious during flight.

If possible, request a seat in the front of the plane. Obtaining an aisle seat is best, as this gives a little extra room and makes it easier to get up and walk around during extended flights. The farther you are into your pregnancy will increase the frequency in which you will need to use the restroom. Sitting in an aisle seat makes frequent restroom visitations much easier. Many air travelers worry about the formation of blood clots, especially during lengthy flights. Pregnant women are advised to wear support stockings and periodically move their lower legs to allow for proper blood circulation (ACOG, 2001).

If you are traveling across several time zones, be sure to take into account how this can affect your body. It is important to get plenty of rest before departing, and plan for extra rest when you reach your destination. It is a good idea to allow yourself a couple of days to readjust to different time zones. Gradually adjust your bedtimes and mealtimes toward your destination's time zone. Move these times back in preparation for your return journey, as this will help mitigate the uncomfortable effects often referred to as jet lag. For some women, making a few proactive, preparative changes is well worth the effort. If possible, motivate your travel partner to do this as well. You both may tolerate the travel easier by doing so.

Be certain to fly in pressurized aircraft, like commercial jets. Some smaller aircraft that feed into larger airports and most personal aircraft are not pressurized. Significant changes in pressure at high altitudes may reduce the cabin's level of oxygen that is needed by you and also by your baby. Low cabin humidity and changes in cabin pressure "may result in an increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and a significant decrease in breathing capabilities in pregnant women with a weakened cardiovascular system" (ACOG, 2001). Be sure to ask your travel representative or airline whether you will be traveling in a pressurized aircraft and if there are any airline-regulated precautions in adjusting to changing cabin pressure for pregnant women. Above all, be sure to advise your attendant and airline that you are pregnant.

When making arrangements for your air travel, be careful to look at the food menus available. Be sure to pick a meal that is high in protein and allows you to make healthy choices. You may request special dietary requests ahead of time with most airlines serving in-flight meals. Also pack extra water, and drink plenty of fluids during your journey. This will counteract the effects of dehydration that results from the drier air in aircraft cabins. Also bring along some individually wrapped crackers or healthy snacks in the event you need to supplement your airline meal or need something to settle your stomach before, during, or after your flight.

A seatbelt should be worn continuously throughout the flight. The risk of trauma due to unpredictable turbulence is significant, and wearing your seatbelt is highly recommended (ACOG, 2001). Fasten the seatbelt so the belt is snug and just below your abdomen. Do not hesitate to ask the flight attendant if you need extra assistance.

By making just a few modifications to your normal flying routine, you will ensure a safe and comfortable flight during your pregnancy. Leave the rest to the capable and competent flight crew.

References: ACOG, 2001. ACOG News Release: ACOG Addresses Air Travel During Pregnancy. Joseph Banken, PhD - Assistant Professor, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology

The article above was reproduced with the permission of Captain Stacey Chance who has helped many become more confident about flying with his free online Fear of Flying Help Course. The course has animations and videos to support it. Pregnant mothers may find it useful to view some of the videos as a preparation on what to expect. Those who experience anxiety while flying may find the entire course useful.

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Rooming in with baby after birth

I shared my experience about rooming in with baby after birth in a forum a while back and since its appropriate and relevant for this blog aimed at new mothers, I am going to post it here.

First check whether the hospital is breastfeeding friendly. The hospital I delivered in is supposed to be breastfeeding friendly and all the nurses will come and help you to breastfeed if you request. If you are rooming in with your baby, don't be shy to buzz the nurses for help in breastfeeding if you need. Even if its the middle of the night. Must be a bit thick skinned, don't be discouraged even if they give you a black face or some discouraging remarks.

For my first baby who roomed in with me, I did not have much help from the nurses at the time and was at a total loss. The lactation consultants only make their rounds during the day and usually just drop by from room to room at a certain time so it was of not much help to me. By the time I left I still had no idea how to feed my baby. Luckily I found a good paeditrician who gave me support to breastfeed till 17 months. I am one of the unfortunate few whose babies just would not latch on. Support is crucial or I would have failed.

The second time I was a bit more experienced and the same hospital nurses has had a bit more training. My husband, toddler and baby all roomed in with me at night. During the day, I sent hubby and toddler home and discouraged visitors. I only informed close family members and not friends and colleagues. I let baby sleep with me and put him on the breast at every opportunity.

Many nurses came and went to help me put baby to the breast at my request because I was still in pain from the c-section wound but none of them could get baby to latch on. Some commented that my "puting terlalu keras" (nipple was too hard), one even uttered "child abuse" when my baby cried and he was such a loud crier too when put in the nursery for a while. I noticed that the nurses had to make a written record of each feeding session. A number of them recorded that baby breastfed well although he did not latch on at all.

Well thats my experience rooming-in with baby after birth. Hope it helps someone.

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Online Prenatal Classes

My husband and I never attended any prenatal classes. We learned everything we knew about childbirth and what to expect online. However, I do think that its a good idea to attend one where you get to meet with other parents and prepare youself mentally for whats to come ahead.

As I mentioned, hubby and I learned everything we knew about pregnancy, childbirth and caring for a newborn online. Hubby would source for materials online daily, print them and we would read them together, he first by highlighting those areas he thought was important and writing little notes on them before passing them to me to read.

I've just found a site which helps you prepare for childbirth online with reading materials organised in a childbirth class format. Its really interesting. Here is the link for anyone of you expectant mothers out there who may be interested.

Chilbirth Class Online is organised into 6 classes starting from the basics of pregnancy to the various stages of labor right down to postpartum adjustment and newborn care.

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Early Signs of Pregnancy

How do you know if you're pregnant? This is a question every woman who is planning to become pregnant or trying to have a baby will ask. If you have been trying to conceive, you will be asking this question over and over again to all your family, friends and colleagues. It is definitely an anxious time and every month you are eager to know if they "symptoms" you are having are pregnancy symptoms.

So what are the early signs of pregnancy? For me, it was bloatedness or the early start of nausea or morning sickness. I felt so bloated and burped all through the day. I also had a raised temperature and thought I was sick so I went to see a doctor for medicine. I was appalled later on to discover that I was not "sick" but pregnant! I began to worry about harming the baby with the medicine I had taken for my "sickness."

Don't be like me. Read up as much as you can about Early Pregnancy Symptoms and the First Signs of Being Pregnant. You can start here.

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Preventing Pregnancy Stretch Marks

This is a sponsored post.

I'm one of those unlucky women who have bad pregnancy stretch marks during and after pregnancy. Its looks a little worse during pregnancy because of pigmentation. The stretch marks are dark in colour and very noticeable. They have faded away to silvery linings now but they're still there. One of the things I didn't do was to put any creams to prevent the stretch marks. I have friends who swear that the creams help prevent any pregnancy stretch marks for them.

Now there is a product called Tummy Honey which offers solution to prevent and fade away those unsightly stretch marks. Its all natural ingredients include cocoa butter, vitamin e, shea butter, olive oil, aloe vera, wheat germ oil, avocado oil, just to name a few. It comes in butter form (for prevention), cream (for fading) and stick (for easy application). All Tummy Honey products include anti-itch ingredients to soothe your growing tummy.

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What happens after a chemical pregnancy?

I experienced a chemical pregnancy in July this year. After I tested a faint positive followed by bleeding/my period a few days later I was worried and wanted to see my gynae however I was busy and couldn't make it for an appointment. I wanted to at least speak with her but I couldn't get pass the receptionist. That stressed me up even more. I had no choice but to read up what I could and wait but I knew I had to go for a follow up examination to make sure everything was ok.

I had so many questions in my mind then. Did I have a chemical pregnancy? If I had a chemical pregnancy, then what should I expect next? When will my menstruation cycle return to normal? Will I require any further treatment? When is it safe to conceive again?

Eventually, I waited for another cycle to pass which was again slightly late and then I went to see my gynae. She did an ultrasound scan and announced that everything was "all cleared". This meant that the miscarriage was "complete" and that there was no need for a D&C ie that I had experienced a "natural" miscarriage. She said that I had experienced a "false positive" or chemical pregnancy which resulted in the false positive pregnancy test. (very faint positive or positive then negative when tested again) Then she gave me the green light to try again for another baby, should I wish to. The next month my cycle returned to normal.

Here are some other resources which I found useful:

"It is believed that chemical pregnancies occur when the fetus dies immediately after conception. This happens before the embryo has a chance to implant in your uterus where it can grow and develop. " Read more here: Women's Health Information on Chemical Pregnancy.

"Most of the time, in an uncomplicated miscarriage, the bleeding is like a heavy period for a few days and the embryo passes with no further attention needed." Read more here: iVillage Q&A on Early Miscarriage: When to contact your health provider

"Ovulation can occur 14 days after a miscarriage with the next period 28 days after the miscarriage, but there is great personal variation. It may take a few cycles before your regular pattern is re-established." Read more here: Miscarriage Support Auckland Inc on Your Health After Miscarriage

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Recovery from a caesarean birth

I get quite a lot of search engine queries about recovering from a caesarean birth so I might as well write about this since I had two caesarean births.

I can't remember much about the recovery process, only about my feelings so thats what I shall write about.

My first was an emergency caesarean under general anaesthetics.

• I remember feeling very tired and groggy the first day after the delivery. I'm not sure but I think its probably due to the medication and painkillers I was given. All I remember is drifting in and out of sleep. I could hear baby crying in the background. Luckily hubby was there. We had paid for the use of a double room so he could sleep on the other bed and look after the baby.
• I remember hubby urging me to get up quickly to walk about because he had read this: How long before I can get out of bed?
  At first you'll probably feel as though you'll never walk again, but as soon as six hours after the birth your midwife will probably cajole you out of bed. However hard it seems, do try to move - the earlier you can, the better for your circulation and general recovery. Also, you'll have to try it sometime - and once you've got out of bed once, next time will be easier. Read more here. I was afraid to, but I managed eventually.
• I remember the discomfort of lying in bed with a catherer and urine bag for urination and the relief after it was removed.
• I remember the relief of having a sponge bath by the nurses and graduating very quickly to the bathroom to wash myself up. Washing up was both a relief and a pain. A relief to get clean especially since there was the lochia to clean up from and a pain to stand up straight so soon after the caesarean operation. Luckily there were handle bars at the hospital bathroom to cling on to. I got aid to get to the bathroom and managed to wash up on my own.
• I remember hubby was eager to go home since he only had 2 weeks off from work and he wanted us to settle home with the new baby as soon as possible. I was terrified because I still did not know how to breastfeed. At the hospital at least there were nurses to show me how and nurses to check on my condition etc. At home, there was no one accept us. As a first time mum, I was terrified and almost had a fight with hubby because of it. In the end we agreed we would ask the doctor and if she said ok, we would go home. I delivered at 2am, 21st May 2002. I was dischared at 12.00pm on 23rd May, 2002. Yes, I was terrified! But I coped.
• I remember the pain when laughing and coughing or passing gas but passing gas was good according to the doctor as it meant that I was on the road to recovery

My second was an elected caesarean under epidural anaesthetics

• I remember being much more alert after delivery as compared to the caesarean under general anaesthetics.
• I remember the recovery to be much faster too (or perhaps it was because I was more experienced now)
• The only more painful memory I recalled was when I had some infection near the wound area and was prescribed medicine that gave me severe gastric. I remember feeling sore all over from gastric pain, breast pain from poor breastfeeding and caesarean wound pain all at the same time. Then, I truly understood the term "double up with pain" for that was exactly what I felt like doing. "double up in pain" I could hardly sit or stand up straight from the pain.

Oops! I hope this post hasn't been too negative. It helps to hold on to the wound area while walking or coughing. And remember not to lift heavy things for a while. I remember I was given the green light to drive about 4-6 weeks after the caesarean and was able to drive myself for a checkup when my period returned around that time.

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Checklist on What to buy to welcome home a new baby

I was cleaning up my pc when I came across this checklist on what to the list of things we bought to prepare for our new baby:

Big Items
1. Cot
2. Mattress
3. Waterproof pad
4. Pot for boiling napkins
5. Pot for boiling bath water
6. Baby bath tub
7. Crock pot (Slow cooker)
8. Clothes hanger
9. Kettle
10. Steamer for sterelizing baby bottles

Other Items for Baby
1. Baby blanket
2. Receiving blanket for swadling

Toiletries for bathtime
1. Baby towel
2. Washcloths
3. Towels for misc use
4. Baby wipes
5. Sterile cotton balls
6. Soap
7. Shampoo
8. Baby nail clipper
9. Baby hair brush & comb
10.Clothes detergent

Baby outfits
1. Bonnet/Hat
2. Bibs
3. Booties
4. Mittens
5. Two-piece outfits
(2 short sleeve & 2 long sleeve shirts & 6 long pants)
6. Nappy Liners
7. Disposable diapers
8. Cloth diapers

First Aid/Medication
1. Thermometer
2. Nasal Aspirator
3. Cream for Nappy Rash (Eg. Drapolene)

For Mummy
1. Breast pump - Manual
2. Bottle
3. Sanitary napkins
4. Breast pads
5. Nursing bra
6. Brush for cleaning bottle
7. Bucket for bathing during confinement
8. Front opening pyjamas
9. Face towel

Stroller & Car Seat redeemed from Shopping Points.

Eventually, I was to do away with the manual breast pump. Its totally useless to me. Its extremely difficult to use in my opinion. I bought two more expensive battery operated pumps ie the Avent and Medela breast pumps but in the end I became an expert at hand pumping!

My best buy was the steamer for sterelizing baby bottles. Even though I breastfeed, I still made use of bottles for storing breastmilk to be given to baby via spoon or cups during the early days. The steamer was a lot easier than sterelizing by boiling the old fashioned way which we tried at first using a big hand-me-down pot we received for this purpose.

The items we enjoyed shopping for the most were those adorable, tiny little baby clothes! :) Sometimes I still look at them and can't imagine my kids used to fit into those small clothing. They're so big now. They grow up so quickly. I still don't know why we bought so many two piece outfits. I find that the one piece baby suits during the early days are the best. Easy to remove and comfortable for baby.

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Postnatal Care and Confinement Nannies

After the hard work of giving birth to a baby, a woman must rejuvenate and take care of her body so that she will get back to optimum health. The chinese often have what is called a lived-in confinement lady to look after both the mother and baby for up to a month after birth. Some of the basic duties of a confinement lady as published in the Peiling website (a confinement care services company in Malaysia) includes the following:

• Food preparation for Confinement mother
• Baby care (Day & Night)
• Laundry for confinement mother & baby
• Cleaning & washing kitchen area & utensils
• Light household chores - Sweeping / vacumming the floor daily & mopping twice a week (optional)
• Cooking dinner & laundry for husband (optional)

Sounds ideal doesn't it? But the price does not come cheap. In fact, you could even say its quite a norm to hire a confinement lady for help post partum. Both my sisters did, as well as my cousins and friends who had babies before me. So, when hubby and I announced that we weren't going to hire one, everyone expressed shocked and said we weren't going to make it caring for our own newborn alone. We didn't have any other help ie no experienced mums or mums-in-law.

In fact, I too was apprehensive at first when hubby first told me about his dislike for hiring an outsider to look after our baby for us. He is a man who guards his privacy most carefully. However, hubby was quite persuasive so in the end I relented and I must say I have no regrets that I did.

It was very tough looking after our newborn without any extra help. Being a first time mother with no experience and no one to turn to, the internet became our main source of information and guide. However I must say that after getting through the difficult early weeks that there is no better experience than doing it yourself. Plus we have the added bonus of bonding with the baby during the early days. Hubby became extra understanding with the tasks since he had no choice but to help out and he now recalls those early days with great fondness.

For our second, again we were advised to hire a confinement lady since we now have an older toddler to look after as well but again, we went against everyone's advise. We were now more confident parents and involving our toddler in every process of bringing the baby home with as little changes as possible helped her to accept the new baby much more easily.

As usual I get carried away writing and my blog posts end up a mile long. So I'm going to leave the story about how we coped with a newborn during the early days for another post.

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Chemical Pregnancy

My period was late. I'm usually regular. I felt bloated and a little bit nausea on and off, pregnancy symtoms I recognise from before. We did a home pregnancy test. The positive results line was so faint, we had to squint our eyes to see it. We were hopeful but worried.

We tested again a few days later with the same very, very faint positive result. So faint we doubted the results. Thoughts of "What is happening?" "Am I pregnant?" swirled around in my head. I felt pregnant but by now (as was the case for the previous two times I was pregnant) we would have had a strong positive result. Why was my hcg levels so low it could not be picked up by the pregnancy test kit? What could this mean? I felt right with all the right familiar pregnancy symtoms I remembered but the results show something else. We were still a bit hopeful but more and more worried.

I searched the internet and read up about low hcg levels. It could probably mean an impending miscarriage, a blighted ovum or an ectopic pregnancy, none of which sounded very promising. We began to feel more worried and a bit scared especially when I had very slight spotting in the evening. We decided to see the doctor soon.

However, even before we got to the doctor, the next day, at about 8-10th day after my period was due, I began to have my period. I know from my own body signals that this was not merely a late period. I probably was pregnant but must be experiencing an early miscarriage. I would probably have been about 5 - 6 weeks pregnant. I read that this is called a chemical pregnancy and that it is quite common and many pregnancies end this way even before a woman is aware that she was pregnant. Our fears were confirmed and now they were turned into feelings of resignation and sadness.

Miscarriage Before You Know It

A chemical pregnancy refers to pregnancy loss very early on. In a chemical pregnancy, it is thought that an egg is fertilized but fails to implant. As a result, your body does not begin to produce the obvious signs of pregnancy. Because a chemical pregnancy occurs so early in a pregnancy, most women never even realize they are pregnant. When they receive their period, they just assume they were a few days late.

Women who have been pregnant before, though, may notice that they "feel pregnant" prior to starting their period. Additionally, performing a pregnancy test, either at home or at your doctor’s office, will likely produce an initial positive result. However, this will quickly become a negative as your period approaches and you miscarry.

Read more about chemical pregnancy and early miscarriage here.

What a roller coaster week of emotions (and fluctuating hormones) it has been, full of anxiety and anxiousness and fear from not knowing what was happening. Alas, it is not meant to be this time. I just had to write this for closure. This post is private and belongs to my personal blog but somehow I like it here since this blog is new and has less readers.

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