My period was late. I'm usually regular. I felt bloated and a little bit nausea on and off, pregnancy symtoms I recognise from before. We did a home pregnancy test. The positive results line was so faint, we had to squint our eyes to see it. We were hopeful but worried.
We tested again a few days later with the same very, very faint positive result. So faint we doubted the results. Thoughts of "What is happening?" "Am I pregnant?" swirled around in my head. I felt pregnant but by now (as was the case for the previous two times I was pregnant) we would have had a strong positive result. Why was my hcg levels so low it could not be picked up by the pregnancy test kit? What could this mean? I felt right with all the right familiar pregnancy symtoms I remembered but the results show something else. We were still a bit hopeful but more and more worried.
I searched the internet and read up about low hcg levels. It could probably mean an impending miscarriage, a blighted ovum or an ectopic pregnancy, none of which sounded very promising. We began to feel more worried and a bit scared especially when I had very slight spotting in the evening. We decided to see the doctor soon.
However, even before we got to the doctor, the next day, at about 8-10th day after my period was due, I began to have my period. I know from my own body signals that this was not merely a late period. I probably was pregnant but must be experiencing an early miscarriage. I would probably have been about 5 - 6 weeks pregnant. I read that this is called a chemical pregnancy and that it is quite common and many pregnancies end this way even before a woman is aware that she was pregnant. Our fears were confirmed and now they were turned into feelings of resignation and sadness.
What a roller coaster week of emotions (and fluctuating hormones) it has been, full of anxiety and anxiousness and fear from not knowing what was happening. Alas, it is not meant to be this time. I just had to write this for closure. This post is private and belongs to my personal blog but somehow I like it here since this blog is new and has less readers.