Monday, March 31, 2008

A mother's warm embrace

Some of you may know that my mother died of cancer when I was 10. So the main ingredient that has been missing from my life is to be comforted by a mother's warm embrace and love. Its not just the cuddles but its the love and care of a mother that is missing from my life. That is such a large piece of life to miss out on.

I moved around a lot when I was in my teens and early adulthood due to my father's job. When I was 16 I stayed for a year with a caring aunt. It was then that I felt how it would be like to have a mother's love. I remember in the middle of one night I had a really bad tummy ache and my aunt gave me some chinese medicine powder to consume. She also stayed up to rub my tummy with medicated oil. What a relief it was and how wonderful it felt to have someone to care for me. A couple of times she also made some herbal soups for my period pain. Again, it was nice to have someone do that for me.

Yes, that is something that I miss out on. A mother's warm embrace and love. And this is something that I must remember to give to my kids. I know discipline is important so we must not spoil them. On the other hand sometimes we are tired and frustrated and we must remember not to take it out on the kids.

I remember many nights when my girl peed or vomitted on the bed, instead of giving her a mother's warm embrace, I gave her a scolding instead. Poor girl. Its not her fault. She would stand there looking lost and sleepy while struggling to change into a set of cleaner clothes which I handed over to her while trying not to step on the vomit less I give her my angry stare.

Last night when the girl vomitted all over my newly changed duvet covers and carpet, I remembered this thought, so although I was sick, tired and frustrated, I remembered to give her lots of cuddles, stroke her hair and told her "its ok, mummy will clean up all the mess in the morning, you just go back to sleep." And she smiled at me sleepily and went back to sleep. I went to sleep happy too. I must remember to do this more often.

Next time, perhaps I should go another step further and remember to give my girl a hug and help her clean up first before I tackle the cleaning up of the floor and bed. Her face was full of vomit and all I did was wipe it with tissue and asked her to wash it herself and change her clothes herself while I cleaned the floor with a sour look on my face. Perhaps I should have helped her first. She looked so sleepy and upset. Her daddy was scolding her for wetting her clothes when she was washing up and for walking on the vomit. He must have been tired too because he normally gives hugs first before scoldings. I cleaned up the floor and bed first because I didn't want the mess to get worse but sometimes we forget that people are more important than the floor or bed!

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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Are you a glamour mother?

No, not I. Certainly not I. I thought about this after reading fellow blogger mommy Reese Matthew's Secret Isle blog post about The meaning of being a mother.

Nope, I'm no glamour mother. I remember I lived in my pjs for months when the kids were newborn. My main attire was knee length housecoats with front openings cause it was easier to breastfeed that way. My hair was a disarray most of the time and I was anything... but Glamourous. (Now how do you spell the dang word. I can't even spell it, how to look it?) I looked more like something the cat dragged in most of the time. Lol! Seriously, I did.

Now, that the kids are older (4 & 6) I can allow some glamour to return into my life. However, it does feel a bit ridiculous to toddle around in my high heels and my swirly flirty dress pushing two crying kids in a supermarket trolley. Hahaha. Oh well, I guess I'll leave the glamourous looks to the celebrities. They look glamourous even during pregnancy. I don't know how. I looked like a beached whale during pregnancy. Thats what my girlfriend called me, a beached whale.

How did you look during pregnancy and early motherhood?

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Monday, March 17, 2008

Being a parent unleashes the child within us

There is a child within all of us, I think, just waiting to get out.

Well, after being a parent, the child within me has been unleashed. Hahaha. Now, I can act silly with my kids and eat the kinds of foods they like to eat together with them. And I get to play with their toys that I never had. Even some of their computer games and online stories etc are rather fascinating. I almost wish I was a child again. Lol!

Now, I'm an expert at making origami boats, balloon animals and folding paper aeroplanes. I enjoy watching cartoons together with the kids. However, I must confess that I do enjoy watching it more with my 3 year old though. He would watch it enraptured, without a word, his eyes glued to the screen soaking in every scene whereas with my 5 year old girl its a question every few minutes. Whoa! Its hard to watch a movie that way you know. You keep missing scenes to answer the questions and the answers always leads to more questioning as though you are being interrogated.

I find that getting down to the kids level, helps me bond with them better and whats more, I get to enjoy being a kid again!

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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Confessions of a tired, lazy mom

I feel tired and lazy today, too lazy to do anything and I mean ANYTHING. So what did I do for lunch? I fixed a breakfast meal for lunch for me and the kids. Yup! Thats what I did. We had breakfast for lunch.

I made an omellette. Three types of toast, one with cheese on it, another with kaya and yet another with butter and sugar sprinkled over it. Then I took out the CNY leftover Mandarin oranges for dessert and topped it all up with 7-up.

"Yeah!" The kids cheered. "Errm..yes..." I swallowed my guilt. "Wow, so many nice things on the table. What a nice surprise lunch after school." my girl added grinning from ear to ear.

Lol! I wonder why they don't say that for those meals that I take hours to prepare, nutritious soups that take hours to simmer and a well rounded meal of meats, vegetables and rice or noodles?

What do you cook when you are too tired or lazy?

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Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Mothers are good at multitasking

Whenever I go and pick my daughter back from kindergarden, I sometimes see this other mother who is in the car waiting for her kid (I shall call this one the preschooler). In her car with her is a younger child, around 2-3 years old (the toddler) and another even younger one around 6-8 months old (the baby).

Usually the toddler would sit in front with her and the baby would be asleep in the car seat at the back as she waits for her preschooler. Today, as she was waiting for her preschooler, the toddler was asleep at the back seat and she was breastfeeding the baby.

Now thats what I call multitasking and good time management! The baby gets a nutritious feed while the toddler gets a nap and the preschooler will be driven home by her taking over the role of a driver in a very short while.

I almost wanted to walk up to her, give her a thumbs up and say "You go girl!" but of course I couldn't. She was busy breastfeeding and bonding with her baby. :)

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