Thursday, March 03, 2011

What is your primary love language?

Some years ago I read Dr.Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages". It is based on the very simple idea that we all speak different love languages. So if you or your spouse or child speak different love languages, you will not understand each other or feel loved. To make your spouse or child feel loved, you have to first know and understand his or her love language.

It is like speaking Chinese and French for example. If you speak Chinese and your spouse or child speaks French, you will not understand each other or feel loved.

In Dr. Chapman's book, the Five Love Languages are:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

If you really sit down and think about it, you will realise that your spouse or child speak the "loudest" in any one or two of the listed love languages above. "Talk" to them in their love language and the will feel loved. Speak their love language in order to convey love to them. So if your spouse speaks French, you have to learn French in order for him to understand you. If you speak Chinese, which is your love language, he will not understand you or feel loved.

Very simple isn't it?

So do you know what is your love language? Try this quiz to find out. :) Love Languages Test.

My Love Language is Physical Touch (1) and Words of Affirmation (2). I think my spouse's love language is Quality Time (1) and Acts of Service (2). He likes it when I spend time with him or do things for him. My son has the same love language as me whereas my daughter speaks the same love language as her dad.

My husband's and daughter's love languages which are different from mine is obvious to me but it is not that easy for me to speak to them in their language. I think I have to practise and practise and practise and make a concious mental note to speak in their language because it is not my primary language so it is more alien to me. Whereas for my son, it is very easy. All I have to do, is give him a big big hug and tell him how much I love him and he will glow and return the same to me because we speak the same language.

Pin It


  1. Ooh, I have this book. Great stuff. Mine is acts of service.

  2. Yes Lian, I love it too. I am thinking of getting the one for Children. Maybe I will get some ideas from there.

  3. I have this book. But i think my love language changed over the yrs... n i hv combinations too.... sometimes confusing.

  4. Oh! If Lian and you said this is a good book, I'm going to check it out!!!

  5. LittleLamb,
    Mine has remained unchanged over the years.

    Very simple but powerful concept.

  6. I have got this book too, from the BBW sales! yeah, we need to fill up the kids' 'emotion tank' before we can reach deeper into their heart!

    have a great weekend!

  7. so true the heart is just so special


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...