Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Too close to the problem

Sometimes I feel that being a stay at home mother makes me "too close to the problem". As a stay at home mother I do not feel the guilt of not being there enough for my kids often enough. On the contrary, I am around so much that I see every single detail of what is going on and that makes me nag more.

I am also the teacher at home and boy what a task that is. Nag nag nag. Hurry Up! Nag nag nag. I am solely responsible and in charge of their time management. Nag nag nag. Hurry Up! I must make sure they eat fast, sleep fast etc. Get enough rest and play while making sure they finish up their sometimes ridiculous load of homework. Nag nag nag. Hurry Up!

I don't have the "luxury" of being away from them for a few hours a day (accept during school hours of course) where their homework is guided at a tuition or daycare center. I AM the tuition and daycare centre. I don't have the guilt of being away which makes me want to hug and love them more and make sure every second counts.

Sometimes a working mother spends more quality time with their kids as a result while the stay at home mother has quantity of time but it is spend nagging, nagging, nagging. Shouting rather than loving.

I need to learn to close an eye to, well, to lots of things. I need to learn to be calm and control my responses to them. I need meditation,  yoga, exercise and soothing music. I need, I need, I need. However all this is easier said than done.

Help! I am a monster of a nagging mum. I need a break.... but there is none. I need to change. I need more patience, understanding, more patience yes. I need more patience.  My kids are beggining to shout back at me. They sound like me when they do it. I shout at them out of impatience and now they mirror me and shout back impatiently for other things just like me. It is scary. I do not wish to raise, rude, impudent, ill mannered kids. I have got to watch myself, control myself better but it is so hard and I am so tired.

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  1. it's so true!!! my kids, when angry, sound almost exactly like me!! and gosh, it is scary, indeed. :-)

  2. as a working mom now, I didn't stop nagging, as long I am at home with the kids, the nagging start, and it come so naturally without I notice it,and also the nagging get more intense.
    so, my quality time with the kids are always start with nagging.

    I guess: Mother=nagging.
    When you get a mom, nagging is a gift come with her.

  3. that happens to me too.. sometimes i felt it esp when my 2nd son confided in his brother instead of me.. mum ma.. sure nag one.. sigh.

  4. yes, if it's of any consolation to you, i also nag big time and i only see the girls at nights, mornings and weekends. really, it's no difference in that sense. like twinsmom said, mother=nag! all mothers are known to be naggers. lol!

    i also need to remind myself not to nag but we cannot help it. my girls also shout back at me and i don't blame them, they're learning it from me. :(


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