Monday, July 30, 2007

8 things about me

Kiasumum tagged me to write 8 things about me. Ok. This is easy peasy. Since I'm doing it on this blog, I shall tailor my answers to the focus of this blog.

  1. 1 am 41.

  2. I got married at 35.

  3. I had my first baby at 36.

  4. I had my second child at 38.

  5. I tried for a third child but then I had a chemical pregnancy.

  6. I had an extremely difficult time breastfeeding both times. (hence the reason for this blog - You'll find all my breastfeeding stories in the breastfeeding category)

  7. I have just been diagnosed with epilepsy and my greatest fear is that my children will get frightened if they see me in another seizure.

  8. I love my family dearly but sometimes they also make me hopping mad. Haha.

Now I have to tag 8 people and they are...

  1. Vien

  2. Shannon

  3. Samm

  4. Michelle

  5. Jazzmint

  6. Sesame

  7. Clair

  8. Mamabok

Ladies, just ignore the tag if you've already done it or if you simply hate tags.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

"Mummy, please don't tell daddy..."

I wonder whether all children use this sentence? "Mummy, please don't tell daddy?" or the other way around "Daddy, please don't tell mummy?" I guess they do, depending on who is more fierce. Lol!

Last night my girl said to me "Mummy, please don't tell daddy that I put the dolls shoe in my mouth."

She then proceeded to ask me all sorts of question like what will happen to the shoe if she had to go to the hospital to have it taken out from her throat or her stomach ie whether they will keep it or throw it away. Hahaha. (Children are so innocent and its amazing and amusing to know what goes on in their heads sometimes.)

Anyway, the point of this post is sometimes children do ask these sorts of questions and I wonder what is the best way to handle it. Usually if its something really small and unimportant I would play along and say "Ok, I won't tell daddy" but if its something bigger I would say "No, I have to tell daddy about this because it is wrong to blah blah blah......"

How would you handle it?

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

"Mummy, I spoke to a stranger."

One night before we slept, my girl suddenly sat up and said tearfully "Mummy, I talked to a stranger."

"When was this?" I ask and she replied "Long time ago at our old house."

I was really curious now because I don't think she had any opportunity to speak to any strangers at our old house since we lived in an apartment and we hardly saw our neighbours. She looked really guilty and tearful now.

Finally the truth came out. "Mummy, I dialed 123 on the phone and talked to a stranger. I asked Is this daddy and then I said No and I put down the phone."

Hahaha. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I had told her not to talk to strangers before and kids really take what we say very seriously! I told her that yes she should not talk to strangers and yes she should not play with the phone but its ok. Its good that she told me and its over 6 months ago now, its in the past so she should not worry about it anymore.

Another night she told me "Mummy, I drew on the floor. There was no space on my paper so I drew on the floor. Then I tried to find the spot to clean it so no one would know but I couldn't find it. Please don't tell daddy." She looked really guilty and worried. I reassured her that it was only an accident so it was ok since she did not do it on purpose and she should not try to hide things from mummy but she should tell mummy that she accidentally drew on the floor, can mummy help to clean it up please?"

Looks like bedtime is confession time. Lol! I hope that she will continue to talk to me like this.

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Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child

My boy and girl are really emotional little ones. And its a big burden (no burden is not the correct word), its a big task to me to make sure that they grow up emotionally healthy. At the moment, I see them turning to me to fulfill their emotional needs. This is sometimes quite scary to me as a mother. Scary in the sense, that I am afraid that if I don't guide them in the right direction, they will not grow up emotionally healthy BECAUSE OF ME!!!

I feel like such a lousy mum, most of the time. I'm really impatient. I shout and scream. Sometimes I turn them away when they come to me because I just don't have the time or the truth is I feel quite fed up after dealing with one whole day of pestering so I have become quite immune to their emotional needs! Another thing, most of the time, I don't LISTEN to them. I just say "Yes, Yes" just to get them off my backs and of course they realise it so they pester me even more!

I don't show them the correct way to handle their emotions often enough. Being a rather emotional person myself, I have to first learn how to handle my emotions before I can teach my kids how to. Controlling my emotions is really hard. I sometimes shudder when I see my little girl shout in the exact same manner as I do instead of asking nicely. I know she picked it up from me! Most of the time I don't ask them to do things nicely. I shout at them!

And then yesterday, I received an article about "Your Child's Emotional Well-Being" from Today's (I subscribe to their email newsletter and am really pleased by the articles they send me which are customised according to my child's age). The one paragraph that really spoke to me was this one which I shall reproduce below:

"Yes. Children aren't mind readers. I meet parents who say, "They know I love them to bits..." when their behaviour makes me wonder if the kids do know, and what makes the parent think they know, and when he last told them. And what the child thought his words meant. Children need to know that parents take pleasure in them. So when did this parent, who's so sure his kid knows he loves him, last ask for more company from the child than the child wanted from him? When did he last ask the child if he had time for a game? When did he last ask for a hug? All too often it's the other way round, so kids feel that they always want more of mom or dad than is willingly offered."

So when was the last time you last ask for more company from your child than they did from you?

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007


I was tagged by Sasha. Since this tag is related to Mothers I thought it would be appropriate to be here on my blog for Mothers.

~~~Instructions~~~Here’s how it works:
1. So easy peasy, if you were given a choice, would you be a SAHM or FTWM? Just provide 3 darn good reasons.
2. Include your post link to the list below and Finally,
3. Tag another three mommies

1. Immomsdaughter prefers to be a SAHM
2. Miche prefers to be a SAHM too.
3. SweetPea is happy being a PTWM
4. AllThingsPurple choose to be a WAHM
5. Dr. Bernard Chan is both Mom and Dad
6. 5xMom wants to be … both?
7. Samm ….?
8. Helen prefers to be a FTWM
9. Adrian is a WAHD and seriously lacking sleep
10. Sasha is a GM.
11. Mumsgather just wants to be a GM (not the same type of GM as Sasha. Lol!)

Of course if given a choice I would be SAHM thats why I'm SAHM mah. Its so obvious I refuse to answer. Hahaha. So I'm going to give this a little twist.

I shall say that whether I am a FTWM or SAHM or WAHM or whatever, all I want to be and strive to be is to be a Good Mum. (GM) Why? Because.....

  1. Everyone needs a good mum so its important to me to be a GM.
  2. Its pointless to be unhappy about not being able to choose being a SAHM, FTWM or whatever and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. So whatever side you are on its important to be a GM instead of being an unhappy mum.
  3. Even if you get the choice of being who you want to be ie a SAHM, FTWM or whatever, its not much good if you're not a GM so its important to be a GM anyway.

Then Tag 3 mommies/DADDY:

  1. Mama Bok
  2. Stay-At-Home Mum (You tag me I tag you back. Fair anot?)
  3. Annie Q

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Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Is Air Travel Safe For My Baby? Ask the Captain!

We mothers are worriers.... right from the time we conceive the baby. One common worry among pregnant mothers is whether air travel would be safe for them and their babies. This is a common question most mothers who have to travel would ask their gynaecologists. But why not ask the Captain or pilot too?

Here's what Captain Stacey Chance has to say about flying while pregnant.

It is important to check in advance with your selected airline regarding special regulations concerning pregnant passengers. Many airlines have existing regulations that must be followed closely to ensure the safety of you and your baby. It is important to understand that while airline travel is safe, some special considerations are important to consider while flying during pregnancy.

In 2001, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists released several precautions for pregnant air travelers who suffer from obstetric and/or medical complications. As stated in this news release, most US airlines permit women to fly up to 36 weeks gestation on domestic flights and 35 weeks gestation for international flights. To prevent unforeseen emergencies, pregnant women should avoid air travel with existing medical or obstetric complications, such as pregnancy-induced hypertension, poorly controlled diabetes, sickle cell disease, or if they suffer from a significant risk for premature labor or placental abnormalities (ACOG, 2001). If your personal and pregnant health does not suffer from any complications, you should do well during flight as long as you make a few precautions to increase your comfort level while on the ground and in the air.

If you experience anxiety while flying, the remainder of this course/book's information will help you adjust to flying while pregnant. This information will be helpful for both pregnant and non-pregnant travelers who feel anxious during flight.

If possible, request a seat in the front of the plane. Obtaining an aisle seat is best, as this gives a little extra room and makes it easier to get up and walk around during extended flights. The farther you are into your pregnancy will increase the frequency in which you will need to use the restroom. Sitting in an aisle seat makes frequent restroom visitations much easier. Many air travelers worry about the formation of blood clots, especially during lengthy flights. Pregnant women are advised to wear support stockings and periodically move their lower legs to allow for proper blood circulation (ACOG, 2001).

If you are traveling across several time zones, be sure to take into account how this can affect your body. It is important to get plenty of rest before departing, and plan for extra rest when you reach your destination. It is a good idea to allow yourself a couple of days to readjust to different time zones. Gradually adjust your bedtimes and mealtimes toward your destination's time zone. Move these times back in preparation for your return journey, as this will help mitigate the uncomfortable effects often referred to as jet lag. For some women, making a few proactive, preparative changes is well worth the effort. If possible, motivate your travel partner to do this as well. You both may tolerate the travel easier by doing so.

Be certain to fly in pressurized aircraft, like commercial jets. Some smaller aircraft that feed into larger airports and most personal aircraft are not pressurized. Significant changes in pressure at high altitudes may reduce the cabin's level of oxygen that is needed by you and also by your baby. Low cabin humidity and changes in cabin pressure "may result in an increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and a significant decrease in breathing capabilities in pregnant women with a weakened cardiovascular system" (ACOG, 2001). Be sure to ask your travel representative or airline whether you will be traveling in a pressurized aircraft and if there are any airline-regulated precautions in adjusting to changing cabin pressure for pregnant women. Above all, be sure to advise your attendant and airline that you are pregnant.

When making arrangements for your air travel, be careful to look at the food menus available. Be sure to pick a meal that is high in protein and allows you to make healthy choices. You may request special dietary requests ahead of time with most airlines serving in-flight meals. Also pack extra water, and drink plenty of fluids during your journey. This will counteract the effects of dehydration that results from the drier air in aircraft cabins. Also bring along some individually wrapped crackers or healthy snacks in the event you need to supplement your airline meal or need something to settle your stomach before, during, or after your flight.

A seatbelt should be worn continuously throughout the flight. The risk of trauma due to unpredictable turbulence is significant, and wearing your seatbelt is highly recommended (ACOG, 2001). Fasten the seatbelt so the belt is snug and just below your abdomen. Do not hesitate to ask the flight attendant if you need extra assistance.

By making just a few modifications to your normal flying routine, you will ensure a safe and comfortable flight during your pregnancy. Leave the rest to the capable and competent flight crew.

References: ACOG, 2001. ACOG News Release: ACOG Addresses Air Travel During Pregnancy. Joseph Banken, PhD - Assistant Professor, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology

The article above was reproduced with the permission of Captain Stacey Chance who has helped many become more confident about flying with his free online Fear of Flying Help Course. The course has animations and videos to support it. Pregnant mothers may find it useful to view some of the videos as a preparation on what to expect. Those who experience anxiety while flying may find the entire course useful.

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Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Whats fun about being a mother?

Why, you get free entertainment of course.

I got so amused the other day when my little girl said to me "Mama, you look like other people." after I had a haircut.

I get so moved when she said to me "Mummy, I love you on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday."

I get equally moved when my little boy comes to me and says "Mummy, I want to hug hug you."

Then I laugh when he sings "Mummy, mummy, hug hug hug, hug hug hug, hug hug hug. Mummy, mummy hug hug hug, All day long." (Sung to the tune of "The Wheels of the Bus")

Thats the fun part about being a mother and it makes all the tough days worthwhile and my housewife dilemma pale in comparison and become insignificant.

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Monday, July 02, 2007

Mothers and Daughters

My sister who's daughter is 14 tells me that she is not ready to for her daughter to grow up so fast. "She doesn't talk to me anymore." she says. "Just one or two years ago, she would tell me everything she did at school as soon as she got home. Now she goes straight up to her room and whispers with her brother or heads for the computer or telephone."

"Maybe I'm too strict with her." she says. "Maybe, I'm too protective... but she shouldn't be interested in boys at this age. I have to be strict! Maybe......................."

Hmmmm... I do wonder what my relationship with my daughter will be like in a few years from now. I do hope that she will be able to talk to me about everything, about school, about her feelings and emotions, about her friends, girls as well as boys.

Thats a big wish. Just how do I make that happen? As mothers we are torn in between protecting them and hence we are strict in trying to protect them and that sort of destroys the close relationship we have with our girls. Its really tough being a mother. I would like to be a mother and a friend to my daughter but can that really happen? I do hope that my relationship with my daughter will remain close. I really really hope so.

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