More Than Just A Maid

For families who hire a maid, sometimes the maid turns out to be more than just a maid eventually.

Recently, we went to the airport to pick our maid up. She had just returned from a one month holiday to her home town. At the airport, there was another maid which just arrived. As soon as she arrived, a little boy ran to her and gave her the biggest, happiest, unreserved hug. A hug like that is meant for someone he obviously loves a lot. Many maids who take care of little children end up almost being their primary caregiver and the little ones have taken to them.

As for us, as soon as the maid came out, she and I were so happy to see each other, we gave each other a hug while the children looked on. The maid has warmed our hearts during her stay with us for four years. She is my good friend and companion. The children are often amused by her and like to chat with her although they don't give her the unreserved hug that the other little boy gave to his maid.

That is because I am not used to the idea of the children being closer to the maid then to me, so I have carefully not allowed this to happen. I am still their primary caregiver. The maid helps me with the housework and lessens my burden but she does not help me with the kids. Easy for me because I am a SAHM. However, in homes where both parents are working sometimes, the maid ends up almost the primary caregiver and the kids love them dearly.

When you have someone living in your house, you form relationships with them and sometimes the maid ends up being more than just a maid.

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Moms, Give Yourselves A Pat On The Back

I know many moms who suffer from guilt trips. Instead of patting themselves on their backs for doing a good job, they always worry about what they are NOT doing for their children. 

• If you are a full time working mom, give yourself a pat on the back for contributing to the finances of the family instead of kicking yourself over not spending enough time with your children
• If you are a stay at home mom, give yourself a pat on the back for being able to spend time taking care of your household and your children instead of fretting over how you are not contributing to the family expenses
• If you are a single mum who has to do everything for your kids, give yourself three pats on the back for being able to do the best that you can under challenging circumstances
• If you are a working mum who comes back and do the housework and still find time to help with your child's homework, give yourself three pats on the back for being a super mom instead of stressing out over how little time you have for yourself and your partner
• If you are a housewife who does not do very much housework but prefers to spend more time educating your kids, give yourself a pat on the back instead of thinking about how you should spend more time looking after the house since you are not working

So, go on now, give yourself a pat on the back. I shall give myself a pat on my back too even though I do not contribute to the family expenses and sometimes I lose it and I yell at the kids at the top of my voice from seeing them 24/7, even though my house is somewhat neglected although I am 'not working", I shall give myself a pat on my back and so shall you!

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The Burden Of Responsibility Of A Mum And A Housewife

I was not feeling well for the past week. To make matters worse, my full time helper at home went back to her hometown for a holiday for a month. To make it even worse, the boy was not able to attend school for about a week due to some virus which gave him vomiting and diarrhea. To add to the troubles, his sister had chicken pox and had to stay home for a week too. The spouse had lots of important meetings during this time so he was not able to help out very much. The kids have piles of homework to catch up on.

However, with the kids sick, there was no way they could eat takeaway food from outside. So, even though I felt feverish, nausea and ill, I had to drag myself out of bed to prepare food and clean up, make sure the toilets were clean enough not to make anyone else more sick then they already were and take care of other basic hygiene. That is the burden of responsibility.

Meals have to be taken care of or there will be nothing to eat. Clothes need to be laundered and ironed or there will be nothing to wear and basic hygiene and cleanliness must be met in the house and by its occupants and it is mum's burden of responsibility that the tiny people of the house understand this. Kids are back in school and there are tons of homework to catch up on, little uniforms to wash and press, homework help required.

Right at the time when I need it most to recover faster, I can't sleep just thinking about all there is that needs to be done. That is the burden of responsibility. Dad may talk about the financial burden but this certainly isn't any easier. Thankfully, I have a helper to assist me most of the time. I hope she comes back.

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Girls Are Supposed To Be More Caring, Aren't They?

They say girls are more caring and nurturing but it doesn't seem to be that way with my two kids. It is always the younger boy who thinks of his sister. The sister is more selfish and does not like to share her toys or food with him.

The boy on the other hand is always thinking of his sister. Recently, we had a RM10 voucher to use. We told the kids they could each use up to RM5 to buy whatever they wanted. Both of them said they wanted stationery.

Suddenly the boy ran up to me all excited. He held up two pink erasers shaped like a tiny house. "Mummy" he whispered. "I'm going to get this for jie jie (sister) to surprise her because she lost hers."


For thinking of others before himself, he was rewarded with a mechanical pencil worth more than RM5. The sister pouted when she saw that his items were more than RM5.


"How come HE gets to spend more?" she said.

Well, girls aren't always the more caring, nurturing or thoughtful one, are they?

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What To Expect When You're Expecting Giveaway

I mentioned in my earlier post that I will be doing a giveaway soon. For those of you who are waiting, here it is. :) First, I will tell you a little about what I'm giving away.


1. What To Expect When You're Expecting by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel


This is really the mother of pregnancy books. Although the title states What To Expect When You're Expecting, the book actually begins with a chapter on Preconception Preparation For Moms and ends with What To Expect After The Baby is Born.

This should give you an idea about just how comprehensive this pregnancy book is as it covers topics from BEFORE till AFTER pregnancy.

The pregnancy months are covered in detail too with What To Expect for each month of pregnancy including FAQs at each stage which I love! There is also a section for dads, for those Expecting Multiples and a part on pregnancy complications.

2. What To Expect The First Year by Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel, Arlene Eisenberg & Sandee Hathaway, B.S.N.


The first series in the What To Expect Books includes What To Expect Postpartum up to The First Six Weeks including breastfeeding.

The What To Expect The First Year carries on in the same style but offering much more detail reading material on breastfeeding, your newborn baby and what you may be concerned about.

From there it goes on to tell you What To Expect for each month of your baby's growth and covers all aspects and any questions you may have about your baby and you including doctor visits and What To Expect, birthweight, feeding, bonding, caring for baby, stimulating baby, sleeping, teething, and much more. I can't possibly describe it all. It is very detailed and comprehensive, an excellent guide for families. I'm not surprised it is America's Bestselling Childcare Series and has sold over 9 million copies.

3. What To Expect The Second Year by Heidi Murkoff and Sharon Mazel


This What To Expect The Second Year book covers all aspects of parenting your child from 12 to 24 months from the first birthday to the second.

You will find that as your child grows, new challenges emerge and you will be learning all the time as a parent. This third book in the What To Expect series helps you to understand your toddler better... from head to toe.

You will learn about picky issues, temper tantrums, discipline, health and safety and whether your child's development is on track. There is also a whole chapter on treating toddler injuries which I find very useful as well.

Note: Expectant mums or new moms can check out the What To Expect website to read more and interact with other moms.

What To Expect From This Giveaway

1. 1. This Giveaway is open worldwide.
2. 2. Two winners will receive 1 set each of all the 3 books in the What To Expect Series
3. 3. Complete the Rafflecopter form below and follow the instructions on the form to submit your entries. You may submit as many entries as you like to increase your chances of winning.
4. 4. Please provide a valid email address so you can be contacted if you win
5. 5. You will need to reply to the winning email within 48 hours or another winner will be selected
6. 6. This giveaway ends on Thursday, 5th July, 2012.

If you are not familiar with how to enter a rafflecopter giveaway, here is a rafflecopter video demo to show you how. If you prefer, you can ask me a question directly on my Facebook. Good Luck!

UPDATED: THIS GIVEAWAY IS OVER. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE 2 LUCKY WINNERS 1. LISAN LEOW AND 2. JENG NEPOMUCENO-SILO

a Rafflecopter giveaway

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