Friday, August 12, 2011

How do you raise kids without losing yourself?

I am a SAHM who spend a lot of time at home with the kids. My life pretty much revolve around the kids. I talk about the kids a lot. So have I lost myself? Nope, I don't think so.
"I have not lost myself. I have discovered my new self. I have learned that I am a stronger person than I knew and I am evolving into this new and better person called MOTHER."
...I am evolving into this new and better person called MOTHER....

Ever since the kids came along, I have discovered more and more about myself. I didn't know I had such perseverance until I started breastfeeding. I didn't know I could teach. I always thought that teaching was the last thing I would do but now I find it a joy to teach. I didn't know that I possessed strength until  I had to deal with doctors and bad news when it comes to the children. I didn't know I had such desire to learn until I started learning so that I can teach the kids.

Everyday, I am learning new things. I have to learn patience. I have to improve my Emotional Intelligence. I have to learn to control myself better. Yes, all for the kids sake but in doing so, I am finding myself, not losing myself.

There are many more things I didn't know about myself and I am learning all the time. Motherhood is an ongoing journey and as I walk that journey, I am discovering more and more of myself.
"No. You do not lose yourself when you raise kids. You find yourself, then you continue to grow as a person."

Pin It


  1. Thanks for the motivating words and yes, I discovered myself too along the road of motherhood..:)

  2. Carolyn,
    I was trying to motivate myself. :P

  3. And I learnt to peel an avocado not too long ago. LOL. Can't agree more that motherhood is an ongoing journey, not just to discover ourselves but to guide and lead the children to discover their potentials too :) Sigh, and it's really not easy..

  4. Hello MG,

    A very good post reflecting the importance of motherhood or parenthood in our so-called "modern" life and in seeking/ discovering to be a better person yourself ;)

    I am glad to see so many happy mother bloggers or non blogger’s commentators via your site, who have learned to "enjoy" motherhood or parenthood either full time or part time.

    I believe 2-income families are an “over kill” in our present day “lifestyle”. Although the “additional income” provides many extras plus comfort of income security should one partner loses his/her job. However, the cons for many families are usually at the expense of the children dependent on the type of work the parents are involved in esp. those that are more stressful and require long hours ;).

    Personally, I look forward to the day when work-life balance is a norm in all societies such that parents can still do work “part-time” or less work day weeks and be able to properly raise their family with love and care.

    My thoughts below maybe kind of out of topic but more a "holistic" view on self-discovery.

    Actually, there are not many differences between the older days versus now except that the "traditional roles" of motherhood and fatherhood have shifted to a more "equally balanced" equilibrium in our parenting life due to wider exposures that each person must learn on their own – many still do not.

    One important factor is that the female gender is exposed to more things in life esp. in more "advanced societies", which should be what all communities should strive for, and they can then choose wisely to pursue what is best for herself as a person.

    Likewise, I think that should happen for the male gender too. Prejudice influences from generalization in gender, culture, skin color, religious beliefs, ... etc should take a back seat so that the human race can really improve our way of life on this one precious planet of ours as individual persons within our community.

    Having read so many articles about the differences plus similarities between males and females (even when both are genetically "almost identical" except for the balance in hormonal levels, which will determine one's gender characteristics plus thinking), I believe an "equally balanced" equilibrium between man and woman can be achieve, if people are willing to change plus adapt all the good things in this wonderful world of ours that He has given.

    I am very happy for you that you found joy in caring for your children - one of your life purposes. I have in a way found that too as they are the future. If not properly cared for when young, they will be "lost" just like so many generations of "lost" people everywhere nowadays. Most still just fall into their "traditional" roles based on gender and in a way, I think is missing out on living life to the “fullest” ;).

    In addition, there are tons of "entertainment gadgets or events" nowadays that discourage interactions between people and most of which can be done away in our daily living so that there is more time to love your loved ones ;P).

    Have a good mothering week ;)

  5. Random Rambling,
    You learned to peel an avocado just so you can feed it for its nutritious content to your child. Bravo. Clap. Clap. Clap. I haven't even tasted one.

    Thanks for your insightful thoughts as always. Sometimes I think that there is a misconception that in order to search for oneself, one has to look outside of the home, to have the freedom to be fully yourself and grow. And one must also have adult company or "rot" without. But why not within the home? Why should one "rot" just because you have to talk to children most of the time?


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...