Friday, August 21, 2009

Going Against the Norm

It isn't easy to be a mother going against the norm....... whatever the "norm" may be.

For example, I sent my kid to preschool at the very "late" age of 6 for my elder and 5 for the younger. They have never attended any playschool, playgroup or nursery before that. That is against the "norm" these days. I had a lot of flak about it.

Even strangers would come up to me and exclaim "You mean she/he hasn't attended kindy?!!!Isn't that a bit late?!!" I thought I would get these kinds of remarks from the new generation mainly but I was surprised when even grandparents whom I didn't know exclaimed in horror when they learned that my kid was still at home with me at the grand old age of 6. ;)

"My grandchild is already in kindergarten. You should be sending your child by now!" they exclaimed horrified.

Normally I just smile when I hear this and I try not to let it bother me, although I must admit that sometimes a tinge of doubt would creep in as I question myself "Am I doing the right thing?"

On the other end of the scale, if you're the sort of mother who sends her child very early to preschool and later on to lots and lots of activities. You may receive a different kind of flak too. People might say "She is so kiasu. She will burn out her kid with so many activities. Kids need time to play and run around, not be driven from one activity to another activity."

To all the mothers who are facing these kinds of pressures or uncalled for remarks from others, be it from family members or friends who are "only trying to help", my advise is to let those unnecessary comments go in one ear and out the other. Try not to let it bother you too much. Be confident that what you are doing is right for you and your child. No one knows it better than you. Your child may thrive from all those activities while another may be stressed out. Some children thrive in preschool, others do not. They may cry it out for months.

Every child and every mother is different. So listen to yourself and listen to your heart and take all the other advises with a pinch of salt, including those that come from renowned parenting gurus and parenting books and articles. Most importantly, listen to your child. And by that I don't mean listen verbally alone. Watch out for any signs of stress or unhappiness in his or her behaviour.

Enjoy your own mothering times and moments. Don't be stressed out by comments from others on how you are doing as a mother. I have always believed that in Parenting it is "To Each His Own" meaning there is no right and wrong in Parenting. You need to find your own equilibirium and what feels right for you, your child and your family unit as a whole.

I shall not be blogging for 10 days to spend some time with my children during their school holidays. Be back soon!

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  1. Happy HOlidays
    Happy Bonding..
    Happy Relaxing **i hope* at least no need wake up early la

  2. I agree with "To each his own" as well, but I'm just curious; How come you didn't send your children to preschool earlier?

    The kiasu people always think that the earlier you start your child in this and that, the better.

    But isn't it the opposite? If they're older and more developed, they'll perform better than younger kids.

    Just wondering. :) Hope you and your kids have a great holiday!


  3. As far as going against the norm, I don't think you have anything to worry about. I think this sending your kids to kindy late is just an isolated incident. For the most part, you seem to be someone who follows the crowd :)

  4. We know our own children's capabilities. School is not the only place where learning takes place.
    By the way, would like to invite you to join a free giveaway on my site. I think it will benefit your children.

  5. My kids also nat attending kiddie, the eldest is 6 and the no 2 is 4.
    I think they enjoy not going to school and enjoy spending time at home with mum.


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