Thursday, October 25, 2007

A mother is all I ever wanted to be

I have found my vocation, my calling. A mother is all I ever wanted to be. I'm not a very good mother but I'm learning all the time. Its a dynamic, life long learning process. What could be more exciting than that. This is not a stagnant, boring, 9-5 kinda job. Its very dynamic.

Perhaps some may see me as not very ambitious but who cares as long as I'm happy and I am. I am a happy stay at home mum (SAHM), thats what they call housewives these days in case you don't know. And contrary to what most people may think, I'm not rotting at home. I'm growing, personally and emotionally.

I will never regret giving up my job and looking back and wishing that I had given myself a chance instead of staying at home with the kids because this is where I want to be. What have I given up? Nothing at all. Like I mention, I think I am growing more at home and I am always learning new things. Life is never dull, mundane, routine or boring. Sometimes I wish for a little bit of time for myself but that is all the complaint I have.

This is me but others may differ. If you are ever contemplating giving up your job to be with the kids then you must make sure that home is really where your heart is. Otherwise you may ask yourself the "What if....?" question one day. I'm not saying that home is not in your heart. Home is in everyone's heart but you must be truthful to yourself. Is it the only place, at the topmost of your priorities? Or would you be a happier mum if you are working? I am sure you know the answer to that.

If you think that you are happier working then you should not let anyone pressure you into staying at home for the kids. Stay home only if that is what you really want. Similarly if you think you will be happier at home, don't be pressured to work unless you really have no choice due to financial reasons. In that case then just do the best that you can and enjoy your kids and your home after work instead of feeling unhappy about the situation.

Whatever your choice may be, working or staying at home or working at home, your family will benefit from a happier mum so make sure its really your choice.

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

How I want my children to remember me

"My mum? Hmmm.. she always had a frown on her face and she was always shouting and yelling at us. She was always too busy for us too. Busy at the computer or the piano. She didn't allow us to touch the piano and she always got to use the pc first. She was always impatient too. She never waited for me to finish a sentence and she always brushed me aside before I could finish saying something. Sometimes she yelled very loudly and took out the stick and she was always asking us to hurry up ............."

Hmmm... if I continue the way I do with my kids, this will probably be their memories of me or what they tell their friends when they grow up! Oh dear.... I better start changing it to.....

"My mum? She was always smiling and so patient. She always made sure she had time for us no matter how busy she was and mum was always busy. I remember she used to read us stories at every bedtime and naptime. Oh how I loved her stories. She spent a lot of time teaching us too. Daddy would buy all sorts of workbooks for mum and she would sit with us and teach us patiently. She always answered all of our questions patiently. Mum loved to play the piano and she said that we could learn too when we were older. Sometimes she asked us to dance and singalong with her. It was a lot of fun. Mum spent a lot of time on the pc but it was our turn when it was time for mum to exercise. Sometimes we joined mum in her exercises. It was really hilarious. Mum allowed us to help her in the kitchen or in the yard hanging out laundry sometimes. Doing things with mum is what we loved the most. It made us feel very important. She helped us keep our toys and let us help her make the bed and taught us about the importance of being neat........."

Yes, I could go on and on. My children are only young for a short period of time. They are growing so fast and before I know it they would be adults. So I better start working on making their memories of childhood a happy one... RIGHT NOW!

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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Motivational Quotes for Wives

This is a mother's blog and recently started a category on Inspiring Quotes for Mothers. However, mothers are wives too, so I think I will include Motivational Quotes for wives in this category. Here's a few.

There's this quote for husbands that says

"The best thing you can do for your children is to love your wife."

I think in all fairness, it should work the other way too.

"The best thing you can do for your children is to love your husband/spouse."

Children thrive in happy homes so the husband and wife should have a good relationship.

I received this quote in an email today. It says

"A successful team beats with one heart."

This reminds me about the numerous times my hubby has complained that he feels alone in making many decisions. He is calling out for my support. I know my hubby loves for me to do things together with him. However, for some reason, sometimes I brush him aside. I am also more negative than positive by nature so I always say "No" first when he approaches me with an idea. I only think about it later and say "Maybe" later on. I know he dislikes this trait of mine.

I must remember this quote and make him feel more supported and appreciated.

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Friday, October 05, 2007

Mother's Guidance is important in learning

I find that mother's guidance is really important in a child's learning. Do take note that I said mother rather than parental. I hate to stereotype but quite often you will see the mother being more involved in the children't studies. Fathers give support and encouragement too but it is usually the mothers who will sit next to the child to guide and teach.

Mother's guidance is really important even from the early years. Take my children for example. My girl is using the Better Chinese site to learn chinese. The site is interactive and fun and it teaches the child chinese through stories, rhymes and songs.

My girl loves the site but she loves it even more with me sitting beside her explaining and guiding her along. Left alone her attention will stray after a while. Its not just online activity. I find that children learn much better when you are sitting beside them guiding, teaching, talking and discussing with them. Its also a great way to spend quality time together with the children.

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Thursday, October 04, 2007

Diary of a Blogaholic - Part III

I don't think I have been doing very well so far. There is so much that I want to do. Other priorities. On top of that list is sleep and exercise. Those are important to me to prevent my seizure triggers. Those take up a lot of time. Help!

Second on the list is the kids. They are second not because they are less important but because if I don't take care of myself first, I would not be able to look after them. I need to give them lessons, spend time with them, as well as the routine stuff of feeding and bathing etc. My health situation has prevented me from sending them to preschool so I need to teach them myself. Teaching them takes so much commitment and time and discipline. Routine stuff still gets done but the lessons keeps on getting pushed back day after day. Thats one of the disadvantages of home schooling. Procrastination and lack of discipline, on my part that is. Help!

Third on my list is myself. Not the sleep and exercise part but the me-time part. Doing the things I love, like practising my piano, blogging, doing my cross stitch. Out of all these I constantly find that blogging comes up tops, piano second and my cross stitch remains in my cupboard untouched for several months now. It was supposed to be for my new house but I'm living in the house for several months now and it remains uncompleted. Help!

Fourth on the list is poor hubby of course. He gets the crumbs of my time. Is it any wonder that last night I dreamed that he was looking elsewhere instead of me. Help!

Ok, now that I'm clear about my priorities (writing down always helps), its time to get into action. There is a clear imbalance in my time at the moment. I am getting too much me-time. I spend too much unproductive time online and some time practising my piano which isn't so bad.

What do I need to carry out my plan? A strong dose of self discipline, thats what. Help!

Part I and II of my blogging diary is here and here.

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Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Diary of a Blogaholic - Part II

So how did I do so far? Well, I wanted to get off my chair after part 1 of the Diary of a Blogaholic ...........but as I made off, ta dum (you know the sound the pc makes when someone comes online) ...... my good friend was online to chat and so we chatted and we chatted and we chatted.

And then I remembered that I had to twiddle with the template on my Parenting Blog to remove some low performing ads that were taking up too much space on my virtual real estate ie my blog. And so I did that.

While I was twiddling with my template, I read some of my favourite blogs, meaning, I went blog hopping and before I knew it, several hours had passed. :P I didn't write any blog posts at all but I had managed to spend a lot of time online. This is not productive time. Tsk. Tsk.

I did get off and stayed off during the weekend. Although I did check my email and went to MyBlogLog to change my profile image there after learning about the merger with Yahoo from Dolphine.

Hmm.... I can't say I've been very good but a little success is better than none. Hehe. I am still trying my very best to reduce my time but increase my productivity online. I think it can be done. It just requires blogging smartly with speed, discipline and priotising. My aim is to reduce unproductive time online.

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