Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Helping your child to overcome fear of the dark

My girl has developed a fear of the dark at age 5. I remember being afraid of the dark too as a child. I remember mum would get my older brothers and sisters to pretend to be animals mewing in the dark to "accompany" me and make me laugh. I would also insist that she waited till I slept before she did.

Recently my girl has been insisting that she sleep in a lit room. "I don't want to sleep in that room. The bed moves. The bed moves when its dark." she says.

"No, the bed doesn't move. There's nothing to be afraid of. You're a big girl now. There's nothing to be afraid of. Mummy is here." These were some of the things I told her and they haven't helped much because they are the wrong things to say according to some articles I've read. She would rather go and sleep alone in a brighter room than sleep together with me in a dark one. Her fear is real but I don't know how to help her overcome it.

I like this excerpt from askdrsears.com article on 7 ways to help your child handle fear.

" Acknowledge your child's fears in order to help her work through them. Strike a balance. Don't ignore the fears, but don't get over-involved in them either, or your child will play up the fear to get your attention. "

That makes sense. I am worried she will play up the fear because sometimes she is "rewarded" with being able to sleep with daddy in the brighter room instead of sleeping with baby in the darker one because of this fear. Its really hard to strike a balance. Guess I will try to implement some of the suggestions offered in the article and report back here if there is any improvement.

In the meantime here are some other article links that will be helpful to other parents facing the same "fear of the dark" issue:

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Monday, February 26, 2007

Home Schooling is not easy

I've slacked in teaching the kids at home because we were busy moving house and celebrating the Chinese New Year. Excuses! Excuses!

I must say that teaching the kids at home is really not easy at all. It requires a lot of commitment and "homework" on my part. (To become a teacher, first you have to learn and prepare yourself.) My kids are young. Only 3 and 5. Even then, I find it hard work! I really don't know how those who have older children and do home schooling do it.

Even with my young kids, I find that it takes up a lot of time and patience. A time must be set aside for their studies. Theres lots of distraction too. Take for example this morning, I was halfway teaching my girl her Malay language studies when my boy decided to have a poo. So I had to go and wash him up halfway then come back to continue with the teaching. Imagine that!

I have to have lots of discipline too. To sit down at the same time daily. (I'm bad at this. Usually we do our lessons whenever I'm free and thats really not such a good thing.) We should really sit down at the same time and same place everyday. I try to create as close to a "school" environment as possible so they will get used to the concept of school. I have to plan a syllabus and stick to it so that there is continuity in learning. Then I have to record down what I have thought less I forget! I also need to make sure that I teach several subjects, Maths, English and Malay languages, Arts and Crafts, Science, Moral Studies. I wish I could teach Chinese too but first I have to learn it myself!

Time, Commitment and Patience. Thats what you need to do home schooling, even for the very young pre-schoolers which I have at home. At least thats my experience. Hope other more experienced parents can share their homeschooling experiences too.

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Friday, February 16, 2007

A mother's job during festivals or celebrations

A mother wears many hats. Among them are being the educator and providing entertainment and food. During festivals, these "duties" feature even more prominently. Lol!

During this Chinese New Year festival, my job as a mother include:

  • creating good and happy memories for the kids
  • educating the kids about their culture and to be proud of who they are
  • making sure the kids get to taste all the best New Year foods or goodies
  • creating excitement and anticipation and fun for the kids during the festivals

I'm definitely looking forward to these "tasks". Planning and creating excitement for them by dressing them up in new clothes, giving them angpows and allowing them to partake in sweet drinks and cookies (its just once a year afterall) is very enjoyable to me too and makes the festival memorable for me and my spouse as well.

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

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Toilet training two-in-one

I've been putting off toilet training the kids because we were moving house and there were just too many changes going on for us to be able to do this successfully together. My boy is 3 and my girl is 5.

My girl is still wearing her diapers during the night and for afternoon naps. I took her off the daytime naps diaper but it didn't work out. We both ended up more stressed so I put her back on it. My boy has shown signs of readiness for toilet training for some time now but I haven't started training him because I was not ready.

Well, we're now settling down into our new home now. So my goal is to start training both of them after the Chinese New Year festival. Wish me luck! And lots of patience. I'll definitely need both of that especially the latter during the toilet training process.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

My little nurturer

Girls are natural nurturers. Its just that way. They do not need to be taught.

I have fun watching my girl play the nurturing role. Often when her daddy falls alseep on the sofa, she would put the blanket over him, then cover his face with a pillow to block out the light (because she knows he likes it that way), then she would gently stroke his forehead and hair.

As for baby, sometimes, she would say to him "Come baby, let me tuck you in. Put your hand inside and put your toy outside. Don't lost (lose) it. Ok. Come." and then she proceeds to tuck him in bed. Then she gives him a kiss and say "Sweet Dreams". After that she lies down beside him and says "Baby, I sleep beside you ok?"

Its really touching to watch a little one being so caring and nurturing. I guess thats just in a girl's nature to be natural nurturers. :)

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