Thursday, July 09, 2009

More Tests - MRI

Recently when I saw my doctor, I asked him about my girl. He thinks that she most likely had a fit and he would like to do more test. He says that since the technology is available there is no harm in doing an MRI test for a better diagnosis.

I am worried about her doing the MRI. I am worried she will be very frightened by the experience. I have done the MRI before. Basically, we have to lie down and we will be put in a tunnel like thing with lots of loud sounds coming from within. The "tunnel" is small so its scary for someone with claustrophobia for example. We have to lie very still without moving. It can be scary for a young child.

My girl is often afraid of loud sounds, sounds of the toilet flushing, sounds of the tap running down the drain pipes etc. The doctor has given me a syrup to give her that will cause her to be drowsy but I am still afraid.

I am even more afraid of what the MRI will show. Previously mine didn't show anything but I still anguished about it days before having it worrying that it might show a brain tumour or something. So I won't mention this test to her till the day of the test. My poor little darling.

I hate this. I hate this very much. This feeling of unease. This feeling of fear. This feeling of depression. This unsettling feeling that I have. But I cannot do anything about it. I am helpless to do anything because these things are hard to diagnose. The doctor will not treat her yet since she has only had one or two episodes of fits.

So, I can only wait, wait and hope that she does not get any more seizures. Wait and hope that nothing bad will happen. I cannot do anything about the situation but I suppose I can try to take control of my own feelings about something that I have no control over.

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2 comments:

  1. stay strong MG! everything will be fine!

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  2. a&a'smom10:25 PM, July 10, 2009

    I can totally relate to the fear u r feeling. DH & me just didnt understand what cld have triggered the fit when he hardly fell ill. For a few months me & my maid took turns to sleep with him.

    Think positive & make sure ur little girls have lots of rest. Higs!

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