I always wanted a natural birth. Who doesn't? I planned not to have any pain killers so that nothing will interfere with my plan to breastfeed baby immediately after birth. But of course those were my "plans" and sometimes things don't quite turned out as planned.
I remember having some spotting close to my due date. Not sure if that was the "bloody show", I asked my sister to take me to my doctor as my husband was at work. I didn't have any contractions and my water bag did not break. However, when my doctor checked me, she took out her wet gloved finger and told me that it had. (I thought that she must have broken my water bag during her examination).
And so I was checked into the labour room at about 5pm and given an enema. Still there were no contractions. Later on when my husband came, I could still talk and joke with him.
Eventually I was induced to speed things up. I remember the nurses kept on coming in my room to ask me if I wanted to have an epidural for my pain. "No" was my reply each time. We felt like they were trying to sell us something the way they kept coming back to ask again and again even after I said "No".
To cut a long story short, I got to 9 cm dilated when my doc came and told my husband with me within earshot, "You have to make a decision now, to go for emergency caesarean or you might lose either the mother or the baby. Its taking too long" Well, I didn't feel like it was taking too long and I felt like I could still go on and we were so close. Just another 1 cm to go! Still what sort of a choice do we have with a remark like that and so off we went to the operation room. It was past midnite by then.
I remember screaming very loudly in pain all the way as they wheeled me out of the labour room, down the corridor and into the elevator. It must have been quite a scene. (And I'm normally a soft spoken person.)
Someone asked what sort of anaesthetic to give me and another one hollered "General of course. Its too late for epidural. Can't you see she's in so much pain? That doctor...... " (they grumbled something about my doctor). They administered the needle and I was out cold.
When I came to, I was lying in a empty clinical room with several empty beds hearing my own deep breathing. I had to lie there cold and alone for about an hour thinking about my baby eager to see her for the first time.
Later my doctor told me "Your case would have been perfect if you had used epidural but you refused and your dilation was arrested because you were in too much pain and stress." I was not very happy about that and said "Then why didn't you have your nurses explain that to me when they came to ask me whether I wanted to have an epidural?" Sigh!
I read that some women feel less of a woman when they deliver via caesarean instead of naturally? Why on earth would they feel that? For me, it does not really matter how baby is delivered. The only thing that matters is that we have a healthy thriving baby.
I can't help but have the nagging feeling that my labour could have proceeded differently (Thoughts of "maybe my doc could have waited for more labour signs, maybe they should not have induced the contractions, maybe we could have continued trying, it was just 1 more cm etc haunts me at times). Oh well, like I said, at the end of the day, a healthy baby is more important and I cannot undo the process so there is no point pointing fingers at or blaming anyone.
Here is an excerpt from an article about caesarean birth taken from Epigee Women's Health. I think thats what happened in my case.
"The majority of cesarean sections are performed because of some difficulty arising during the labor and delivery process. You may be pushing with all your might, but baby still refuses to make her way down the birth canal. In cases like these, a c-section is often in order. During childbirth, your doctor will monitor you and your baby’s progress. If your cervix stops dilating (arrest of dilation) or if your baby is being stubborn about descending into the birth canal, your doctor may feel a c-section is necessary. It is hard on both you and the baby if labor is taking too long. To avoid extra complications, your doctor might suggest taking the baby out abdominally. In fact, 1/3 of all c-sections are performed because of slow labor. Also, if your baby’s heart beat suddenly becomes irregular a c-section could prevent her from becoming too stressed. "
Elective Caesarean Under Epidural Anaesthesia Pin It