All they want is some tender loving care

My girl is always bombarding me with "How" questions.

"Mummy, I really hate to go to school on Mondays. How?"
"Mummy, the mosquito bit me and my hand is really itchy. How?"
"Mummy, my stomach pain. How?"

Sometimes, after several repetitive "Hows" with no satisfactory answers, she adds

"Can sayang me ah?"

Then it finally dawned on me, that all she wants is some pampering and loving. She does not really want me to give her the answer to her "How". (Because most of the time there is no answer but she pesters persistently even when I tell her I don't know the answer.)

However, finally I realised that all she wants is for me to hug her and tell her, "It is okay. Everyone hates school at some time or another." or hug her and apply some medicine for her stomach or hand or ear or eye or whatever it is that is bothering her at the time. All she wants is a little tender loving care. Ting! Lightbulb moment.

What a dunce I am. I finally got it. All this while I have been so irritated by all the endless, pestering "Hows" and at last I finally got it. I told her about it too (this new revelation of mine) and she smiled and asked "Can sayang me ah?"

"Of course! Hugs are free. They are available anytime." Thats what I told her and she grinned happily.

The boy is different. He does not ask. He is a natural hugger. He just simply comes up to you and gives me his little big bear hug whenever he feels like it, which is often, sometimes strangling me in the process :)

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What my mother taught me

My mother died when I was young. However, one lesson which I clearly remember from her is to give the best to others. My mother said that it is not okay to reach out for that delicious looking chicken drumstick or the best foods on the table. One should always let the others have the better parts.

I do not see this happening these days. Quite often when eating out in a group, I sometimes see the parents reaching out and grabbing the best parts for their kids and place it in a platter in front of them. Sometimes the kids can't even finish the portion but nevermind that, the important thing is to reserve the best parts for the kids.

I wonder what these parents are teaching the kids. ...  that it is ok to be selfish and put oneself above others? I know it is just food but then manners as with everything else begins with little things.

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You're Growing Up!

I have not written a poem in a long while. So, here is one dedicated for my little sweetheart, my girl who is now 8. Feel free to copy this poem if you like but a link back would be most appreciated. Thank you. Links to more of my poems can be found here.

For my little sweetie pie

You're Growing Up!

You're growing up sweetheart

It seems like just yesterday when I held you in my arms

And looked at your little face

Now I can't even lift you up for a closer embrace

You're so tall now sweetie

Wasn't it only days ago that you sat up and crawled

Now you're running at the malls

Zigzagging here and there not afraid to fall

You love skipping and singing little one

It makes me happy to see you happy like this

You talk a lot now too compared to your first word "daddy"

We cherish you right from the time you were a baby

You like to choose your food now dearie

That is fine because I know you are growing up

It is a lot better than those days

When you pushed out every food we brought your way

You can do so many things on your own now darling

Read and eat and draw and bathe

When once upon a time we felt anxious during separation

While it took almost a year for your toilet education

My sweetie pie, you have still a long road to travel

But I hope that each step you take

Is filled with happiness, joy and laughter,

And all the love that we can give you from now till forever after

 

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The Most Important Exam Preparation

It is the end of the semester and before you know it the school year will be over. The kids are busy preparing for their tests in school as well as at home. During the weeks leading to the tests, we cut out weekend outings to find time for revision. During weekdays there is no time for any revision, only daily homework.

I find that the most important exam preparation of all, especially for an 8 year old kid (because that is how old my child is), is getting plenty of rest and sleep and good nutrition ..... so that they don't fall ill and they feel relaxed and calm, not tensed, rushed and stressed out.

So our primary goal for the next few weeks is to get plenty of rest and sleep, and not rushing to finish the syllabus. :) The teachers are rushing in school. At home, we must provide the rest from rushing. It is of course easier said than done but I shall try my best.

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Smile more, frown less

I realise that here is one other thing I have been practising with my girl. First was hug more, followed by being a better listener and last but not least is to smile more and frown less.

I tend to go around with this big frown on my face. It is not that motherhood is so hard that I have to frown all the time. No, no. It is just that I am a natural frowner if ever there was one. I remember when I was having my wedding photo shots taken, the photographers all sighed in dismay and said "the bride is frowning too much."

Get rid of that frown. We can't photoshop it especially if it is under some fringe. Haha. Well, I have worn that frown to this day.

However, since children are ultra sensitive to our moods and emotions, I have to get rid of that frown. The best way is to replace it with a smile.

So, what is the result of hugging more, listening better and smiling more? Well, I get a girl who hugs back, smiles often and misbehaves less and I can see that she listens more too when I explain why she should not behave in certain ways. She would just smile sheepishly instead of frowning at me, shouting back or stomping away.

I got back everything that I gave out. Give and you shall receive. How true.

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