Monday, April 30, 2012

Emotional Intelligence At Home

You can read lots of write ups about how you should apply Emotional Intelligence at Work but what about at home? I think Emotional Intelligence should be applied at home by mothers especially. So what is Emotional Intelligence. To put it short, it is all about self awareness and self control.

I need lots of 'Emotional Intelligence' today. I know I need it when my girl tells me to "go and read it yourself" when I asked her to go through her work which I had market and added little pointers to help her. I felt like shouting back at her about how rude she was and how much effort I had put in it and how that makes me feel like not helping her in her work again (and I did to a certain extent) so I know I need 'Emotional Intelligence" in order to teach her to have self control. Heck! If I can't control myself how can I expect her to control herself?

I also need 'Emotional Intelligence' when the man tells me that he feels I am not doing things together with him. You know I like to do things together but you like to do things alone so you don't mind it so much. Oh yeah? I know I would have liked him to give more interest to my writings but it's always "I don't have time to read". I gave up trying eventually. Now, I am just happy if he takes a picture or two for my blog. I would also have liked it if he had shown more interest in my outing with my family instead of asking upon hindsight and sounding like he was asking just for the sake of asking. I was so excited about the dress I had bought cheap but instead, the words died on my lips because he is not really interested to know. There are more important things after all then a trivial dress. So the dress lies somewhere in a plastic bag still, unknown, unloved, undiscovered.

The more important issue right now compared to a cheap dress is he feels that I am not doing things together with him this time because we can't agree (as usual) about the kids school work. I really don't know how to resolve this one. I have always believed that as parents we should provide the balance in the kids lives. If the school pushes the kids hard, then we give them rest, play and other recreation. If the school is lax, then we push the kids harder in school work.

So why is it, that I am caught in a situation where I have to push the kids hard in their school work during weekends, school holidays etc when the school is pushing so hard. Their weekdays is already filled with work from morning till night with just enough time to eat in between and I have to do this during weekends and school holidays too? I want the kids to be able to have time to draw and read and write silly stories. They want to do this NOW but they never have the time.

How do you put on a united front, do things together, and accept the decision of the spouse when you don't believe in it?

I certainly need Emotional Intelligence with this one. Lots of it.

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  1. Yeah, we indeed require more patience at home thn at work... especially when the threshold of tolerance is tested by kids, hubby or... the in laws!

  2. Tell me about it. My hubby and I disagree on a LOT of things too! And I am finding a solution to this too. Sometimes I just keep quiet and dont want to discuss with him to avoid conflict and war! I'm too busy to face a war. Sigh, really hard when both husband and wife don't agree on so many things. Email me to talk if you need to, since we r so near to each other :)


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