Thursday, February 19, 2009

The biggest milestone as a parent so far...

Probably the biggest milestone I encountered in bringing up my "babies" so far is not when they first rolled over, sat up, took their first steps, sprouted their first teeth, first solids, toilet training etc. Those were exciting moments but the biggest moment for me as a mother or parent is when they take their first steps into school.

Not playschool, preschool or kindergarten but "big" school, primary school or whatever it is you choose to call it. This is the time my child grows away from me to experience new things. She has to adjust to an environment away from home, make new friends, deal with peer pressure, the way they do things at school etc.

This poses the biggest challenge to me as a parent so far... How to help my child... How to help my child grow into a warm, confident, kind adult.

Yesterday, my girl's teacher said that my girl is "very no confidence" Now, I am cracking my head on how to help her. How to help her improve her self confidence and self esteem.

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  1. oh dear.. positive talking with her? encouragement? ooo.. i dunno.. have yet to reach that stage..

  2. Maybe by giving her more exposure via playgroups with other kids and encouraging her more even when she makes mistakes, its all right to make mistakes. I always say good boy, very good, thats a good try, thank you, welcome, love you, and those sort of little nice words to my boy.

  3. :( don't worry MG. it takes time for her to get adjusted to the new environment. the other 2 mommies' comments are good - lots of encouragement :) i hope the teacher would also help your girl.

  4. True that that is the biggest milestone of parenthood. I was very emotional the first day my girl walk into the school. (primary school..not preschool. :P )

  5. dont worry dear, over time it will be better... i used to hate school too :)

  6. Do you need a hammer to crack your head? You can borrow mine but I don't see why you need one. Rome wasn't built overnight. Your girl's confidence will increase naturally over time. It takes time dear. Be patient.

  7. Merryn,
    We give her lots of positive talking and support. Hope that over time she will overcome it.

    Family First,
    Her kindy teacher also commented that she has very little confidence but given the correct encouragement and support she was eventually able to become MC to a crowd of 300 including parents at her kindy concert. However, in a Chinese School environment which she is now, the teachers aren't very supportive. They're just fierce! And that makes it worse for anyone with no confidence. We'll just give her support at home and see how.

    mommy to chumsy,
    As I mentioned to family first, the teachers there don't give the kind of support and encouragement that I think a child with no confidence needs. So we'll just have to rely on ourselves.

    Imagine that. On the first day of school all the mothers get emotional and the kids run around happily. Hahaha.

    I hope so. I hope so.

    Her father very worried mah. I am patient and I am confident that she will overcome it but he is more worried. So I wish the situation will turn around faster but like you said Rome wasn't built in one day. So, can you pass that hammer over , please?

  8. First day of school sure all the kids will be scared. I guess besides the encouraging words, you should also brief her on what might be expected. Give her an idea of what the "real" school is like without scaring her. Don't just paint it rosy, mention that bad things do happen too like teaching scolding or other kids not being so nice. Tell her that's it part of growing up and if she needs help, you'll be there to guide. I think it will also help if you tell her that other kids will just be as scared as her. I say it'll take about 2 weeks before the kids settle "into the groove". Good luck!

  9. Lian,
    Mine takes longer than 2 weeks because of the chinese school culture shock. :P

  10. MG, it was last year when I get the cultural shock and I felt like you too. The teachers are really fierce and strict but I told my son that he would avoid the scoldings and punishment if he could improve himself. It takes time to build their confidence especially when they can't speak fluent Mandarin in school. I think it took one year for my son to adapt. Now that he's in Primary 2, he told me he dares to raise his hand to answer question in class.

  11. I think one of the best ways to give your child confidence is to do lots of positive talking to her. Tell her she can do it, tell her she's good in this and that, praise her, etc. The mums here have given very good suggestions too.


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