Part time helper or maid

Apart from avoiding driving for some time, I also decided to hire a part time helper or maid to make sure there is someone else in the house other than just me and my two young kids (just in case of another seizure) as well as to give me more time to rest and sleep.

I didn't know anyone so I asked around the nearby kedai runcit (grocery shops), laundrette, minimarket etc. Eventually the laundrette recommended me to someone, an Indonesian in her 50s who has been working in Malaysia for more than 10 years. Previously she was employed through an agent but now she freelances.
My tip for hunting for a part-time helper: Ask around your neighbourhood.

I must say that apart from the safety aspects (which was the main reason why we hired her), it is very good to have a part-time helper if you can afford it. We dislike the idea of a full time maid since we tend to guard our privacy jealously and besides, I'm not working so there isn't really a need for one).

She comes in 3 times a week and does general cleaning jobs including cooking. On those days that she comes in, I usually arrange for her to cook enough for dinner as well. This saves me time as I merely reheat the food for dinner.
My tip for busy moms: One way you can cut corners is by cooking two meals at one go. Cooking and cleaning up takes up a lot of time so this is one way I save time.

She does not handle the kids. I take care of all their needs myself, the bathing, cleaning of dirty bums and feeding. (Although its quite tempting to ask her to help when I'm lazy. Thats another reason why I don't have a full time maid. It would only be too easy to give in to the temptation of asking the maid to help out in childcare which is hard work!)

However, we may be moving to a landed property soon and she would probably want an increment of sorts. Having a part-time maid is really a luxury we can ill afford. We did it for safety reasons. So now the time has come for us to make a decision whether to retain her (since its been over a year from the seizure). I would clearly love to keep her since having a part-time helper really helps and keeps me sane. However, it will be very hard on hubby since we're only on one income and having to fork out a fixed monthly sum seem extravagant when we can't even afford to upgrade our old car.

So, it looks like this mummy will have to go back to doing more housework and have less time to blog. Thats why she is looking into ways to monetise her blog so that perhaps, just perhaps, she can earn enough to at least have someone come in once a week. Lol!

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Driver - Yet another task in a mother's job description

I have not been driving for 1 year and 8 months since the seizure. Although I've been told that so far there are no guidelines about driving and epilepsy in Malaysia and when I pursued the matter further because I was worried, the neurologist told me that if I was worried then perhaps I should avoid driving for about 6 months (even though he didn't think I had epilepsy). To be on the safe side, I have not driven up till now. So my husband has become my driver. :)

We all take simple daily things like driving for granted. I have always been very independant in this area. I have no trouble driving outstation on my own for business trips and because I owned a company car previously, I was often made to drive everyone to company trips outstation.

Since I stopped driving and sold my car, I do feel a certain loss of independance. Now I really feel like a housewife! But thats not the issue. The issue is I'm worried about not being able to fulfill this task which is just another part of a mother's job description. I would like to be able to drive my kids to their schools and activities instead of relying on public transport.

A time has passed. It is now safe for me to drive again but I have lost a little confidence in driving. Just a little. However, I will get it back with practise. Just like swimming or cycling, driving is a skill that you don't forget once you learn it.

Coming next: Getting a part time helper or maid

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Mothers and Sleep Deprivation

I believe that sleep deprivation and interrupted sleep played a part in my having a seizure.

I had been sleep deprived since I became pregnant with my first child, during breastfeeding especially and never got to claim back my sleep debt when the second child came along with more breastfeeding difficulties. Not only was I sleep deprived, my sleep was often poor as it would be interrupted numerous times. It was even worse after the second child came along because I could not "sleep when the baby sleeps" as often advised. Usually when the baby sleeps, I had another active toddler to pay attention to, another toddler who needed personal one to one attention from me that was not possible while the baby was awake.

Even after the difficult first few months of looking after a baby was over, I still did not get good sleep. Quite often while breastfeeding my baby and telling my toddler stories during bedtime and waiting for them to sleep before me, I had to fight against my sleepiness. Sometimes, the words of the stories I was telling came out all jumbled up. I would be trying to tell a story but the wrong words came out of my mouth because I was so sleepy! And sometimes I suffered from imsomnia too, after waking up for midnight feeds or after the sleepiness had passed. After waking up in the middle of the night to look after baby, sometimes it was hard to get back to sleep as I would feel quite wide awake from all that babycare activity.

I would advise all mothers to please get some sleep! Don't think that you're supermom and deprive your body of sleep when its needed. I believed that my fighting against my body's need for sleep for so many years probably overtaxed my brain and was bad for my health. This is only my own feeling or assumption and not something medical since I am not a medical doctor. Still, its common sense that sleep is important to us and we should not derpive our bodies of it nor try to fight against the need to sleep and rest. Quite often, I hear mothers say, "If I want to do this and that or have a little time for myself I have to sacrifice my sleep." I don't think that is a very good idea.

So mothers, if you are feeling sleep deprived, try to get some sleep whenever you can. Ask your spouse to take over for a while so you can get some important snooze. Look after yourself and your body by getting the sleep you need. Don't allow a sleep deficit to last for too long. Only then, will you be able to look after your family even better. Not getting enough sleep also makes you feel more grumpy and clumsy making you lousy company for your spouse and kids!


Related post:
My sleep will never be the same again

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The Diagnostic Tests - Part II (The CT Scan and MRI)

After the seizure, I was asked to do a CT Scan and a MRI of the brain in addition to a full medical and EEG which I spoke of earlier.

Below is a brief explanation of what these diagnostic tests is all about.

"A Computerized Tomography (CAT or CT) scanning, a procedure introduced in the early 1970s, has revolutionized the ability to 'see' the brain. Low-dose X-rays are detected and interpreted by a computer, which then generates a picture "just as if we had cut a slice of the brain."

"A Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI), which is even newer, has increased our ability to look inside the brain, as it were, even more clearly. Unlike CT scanning, MRI does not employ X-rays but rather uses a huge magnet to create an image, which is then analyzed by computer in a fashion similar to the CT. It produces pictures of even greater detail."

You can read about these tests in more detail here (Epilepsy Canada website: Diagnostic Procedures) and view a picture of how the machines look like here (Rochester Medical Center).

Below is my experience of these tests.

For the CT Scan, I was told to remove jewellery just as for any body X-ray. I told them about the screw in my teeth used for my dental work/root treatement and they said that was ok. It was a fairly simple procedure. I merely had to lie down while the scanner (not sure if thats what it should be called) spun around till the procedure was complete. It made me feel like I was in an Star Trek movie or something!

The MRI was a little more uncomfortable. It took about 20-30 minutes. I was asked to lie down on a narrow table which slides into a tunnel-like tube/enclosure and told not to move. It was hard to stay completely still for that amount of time which is why children who have to do this test is sometimes sedated. There was very little space inside the tunnel-like tube/cylindrical chamber and it was dark making me feel like I was being buried alive or something (it would be hard for anyone suffering from claustrophobia to do this test). To overcome my own fear and discomfort, I thought about the people I love, my husband and my children. There were very loud sounds which kept on changing rhythm all around me. Felt like some rock concert going on which I was forced to listen to and couldn't escape from.

Thats about all I can remember about these tests. I hope I haven't frightened anyone with my description of them. The tests are painless, just a little bit uncomfortable for the MRI. The CT Scan was fine.

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The Diagnostic Tests - Part I (The ECG and EEG)

After I had a seizure, I underwent some diagnostic tests to find out what was wrong. I did a blood test, a chest X-ray, an ECG, EEG, CT Scan and a MRI.

The ECG (Electrocardiogram)

An ECG is a test that records the electrical activity of the heart on a graph. It has a prime function in the screening and diagnosis of cardiovascular diseases.

I remember the physician put two metal clips on my wrists for a brief period and that was it. Test completed. I'm not sure why this test was required but I guess the physician felt that a full medical including blood tests and chest X-Ray is required to do a proper diagnosis.

The EEG (Electrocardiogram)

An electroencephalogram (EEG) is a test that measures and records the electrical activity of the brain by using sensors (electrodes) attached to the head and connected by wires to a computer. It may may be done to diagnose epilepsy and determine what type of seizures are occurring. EEG is the most useful and important test in confirming a diagnosis of epilepsy. However, an electroencephalogram (EEG) is not a foolproof test of whether epilepsy is present. Some people with abnormal EEG results do not have epilepsy, and some people who have epilepsy will have normal EEG results, despite repeated tests. This site has a very good and detailed explanation of an EEG.

For this test, I was brought to a darken room and made to lie down. Then the technician (is that what you call them?) started glueing electrodes on my head with a sticky paste. There were many electrodes, each of them connected to the computer.

The test was supposed to be conducted under different conditions eg drowsy and sleep state. I was also asked to hyperventilate (breath in and out hard and fast) and lights were flashed into my eyes periodically.

I do question the accuracy of the EEG conducted on me because it was later recorded that it was done in a drowsy and sleep state. I did not feel drowsy neither was I asleep at the time so how could the results claim that I was?

Ok so I was a little bit sleepy because I didn't sleep well the night before from worrying but I don't think I was drowsy and certainly not asleep! Anyway, here's what I recall of it. To get me into a drowsy state, I remember the lights were dimmed. I remember they put a cloth (with cross stitch on it) to cover my head and face. I remember my husband was sitting in the room (providing me with the comfort of his presence and support which lessen my fear, although there's really nothing to fear. I was just feeling apprehensive overall). I remember the technician's handphone rang and he answered speaking softly. Drowsy state? Asleep? I don't think so.

And yet under the test notes, were recorded that I had spontaneous sleep with no sedation. Other words mentioned were generalised seizure during sleep, Grand Mal Epilepsy and partial form of seizure disorder. Scary big words. Is it any wonder I lost 5 pounds in a week from worry?

To anyone who has to do an EEG and happened to land on this page, don't worry. Its not scary, its painless and there's no discomfort. A seizure may be triggered by the flashing lights and hyperventilation but the people at the lab or hospital should be experienced enough to deal with it.

Will write about the other tests in another post.

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