Quotes for Wives

Someone sent me an email full of marriage quotes but this one stood out for me.

"A successful marriage depends on two things, finding the right person and being the right person."

Thats true isn't it. This is definitely a big challenge to me. It is not easy to "be" the right person. You have to work really really hard at being the right person. I don't think I work hard enough at it. If I did my husband wouldn't still always be complaining about how unsupportive I am of him. :P Looks like I have to work much harder at this in 2008.

Why do I include a quote for wives in a mother's blog? Because I think that "To be a good mother, you need to start by being a good wife." Its interlinked, these two. Being a good wife and mother. Its easier to be a good mother when you're a happy wife. And when you work really hard at being a good wife, you will find that you have a good husband in return.

This will be my last post for this blog for this year. So I would like to leave visitors with this message to ponder on as we move on to the new year.

Happy New Year everyone. May we all have another happy year as a mother and a wife. Cheers!

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New bedtime routine update

We're waking up earlier and earlier now. However the bedtime remains late but the naptimes are sometimes earlier or sometimes skipped altogether to make them go to bed earlier and yet they still go to bed late!

So we're basically doing fine in the waking up routine but going to bed early needs to be worked on further. I've managed to convince them that waking up early is fun. Now its time to convince them that going to bed is fun. Hahaha.

Actually, I've told them that going to bed early will make sure that they have enough energy to wake up the next day to do all the fun things that we are planning to do and they agreed. So whats the fun things we have planned today?

Well, we've got a singing session, a balloon sculturing session, we plan to do some drawing too etc etc. They will also be helping me with the cooking and the laundry. Phew! Its going to be a long day. Hopefully, that will tire them out before me. Hahaha.

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Advice for new parents - Find a good paeditrician for your baby

I received lots of advise before I became a mum but somehow no one told me this.

"Find a good paeditrician for your baby even before your baby is born."

So there I was, my baby born and my gynae whom I had been seeing for 9 months asked me. Do you have a paeditrician of your choice? I said "No." and she asked "So is it ok with you if we put you on one of the hospital's panel of paeditrician?" to which I said "Ok." I was to go back to see the paeditrician again in two week's time (and many more times during baby's first year for immunization jabs and check-ups. That was something I didn't realise until I became a mum and nobody told me so).

At the second week's check-up. My baby had lost a lot of weight (instead of regaining her birth weight as babies are supposed to) due to my problems breastfeeding. (She had lost a shocking 25% of her weight to be precise). I was in a state of stress. Baby was not feeding well. The paeditrician came and told me to "just give baby milk powder" and he treated baby like a slab of meat the way he undressed her and put her on the cold examining table and turned her this way and that. I was horrified and never went back again!

Fortunately, I found a good paeditrician after that. One who taught me how to breastfeed, who was good with children and answered our questions, fears and doubts (of a new parent) patiently.

I can't believe it but in a blink of an eye, we have been seeing this paeditrician for 5 years now. We have to wait a long time to see her each visit but we don't mind because we had been given that much time with her too when our babies were newborn. So, one advise I have for new parents or parents to be is.......

"Find a good paeditrician for your baby." You're going to be seeing this person a lot during the first year of baby's life.

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Waking up early is fun

Thats what I have been telling the kids or rather my daughter whom I am trying to train to get up earlier to attend kindy next year. Here's my strategy. First I discuss with her the fact that she will need to get up early to attend kindergarden next year. Then I tell her that waking up early is fun because it means that we have more time to do fun things. Then I have to follow through..... ie by making her day fun filled. I also tell her that if she wakes up early, she can get to see daddy and say bye bye to him before he leaves for work.

So far, its working out well. The kids don't complain when I wake them up earlier. They are happy to wake up earlier. The only person who is not so happy is me. Hahaha. As I lose my sleep and my personal me time.

When I wake them, I put on nice music videos which they love and that wakes them up with a smile. They watch the videos for a while as I buzz around making up the room and preparing breakfast. Then its time for some crafts or games or lessons (they are always bugging me to give them lessons which they love) so lessons it is and before we know it, its time for lunch, bath and nap. As I've said, I have to follow through, because the moment they think that its not fun to wake up early, then I will have groucy sleepy heads. At the moment they think its fun so I have happy smiley kids. Hopefully, we can keep this up next year.

This post is continued from

Changing the kids bedtime (Part I) and
My kids' naptimes at age 3 and 5 (Part II)

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Recommended Breastfeeding Links for mums intending to breastfeed

I did some housekeeping for this blog recently and trimmed away the unnecessary. I have decided to put in the following links which used to sit on my sidebar as a separate post instead because I think it will be more helpful and easier to find for mother's searching for information and help on breastfeeding.

So here it is, the sites I used frequently and found particularly useful during my breastfeeding days. I would certainly recommend it to all mothers to be who are planning to breastfeed their babies.

I had a lot of difficulties breastfeeding both my babies. If you have difficulties and would like to talk to me, you can email me at mumsgather@gmail.com You can read about my breastfeeding journey from the difficult first moments right up to the tears free weaning by browsing through the breastfeeding category on this blog.

Breastfeeding Links

• kellymom.com - A very good and detailed resource on breastfeeding. I referred to it again and again especially the parts on breastfeeding and medication (because I was prescribed antibiotics several times to treat my mastitis infection) and the use of nipple shields when I was considering one. However these are not the only subjects you can find. Like I said its a very comprehensive breastfeeding site and I recommend it to all mums who are preparing to breastfeed or are breastfeeding

• La Leche League International - A place to get help locally by finding the local chapters near you


• Breastfeeding.com - Another good breastfeeding resource


• Breastfeeding Stories - The stories from the other mothers who faced difficulties inspired and encouraged me through the difficult moments. I printed those who had similiar problems as me and read through their success stories to encourage myself


• Breastfeeding Handouts by Dr Newman - I love this man and his free handouts. Some of the techniques described are really valuable to me. I read the handout "When baby refuses to latch on" over and over again. His statement that "baby will usually latch on by 8 weeks of age no matter what" kept me going


• Babycentre Buletin Board on Breastfeeding - Read and talk to other mothers going through the same thing as you


• Malaysia's Parenting & Breastfeeding Forum - I'm a Malaysian and this is a good place for Malaysian mothers to get help on breastfeeding

The above sites are not listed in any particular order though my favourites would be kellymom, Dr Newman and the Breastfeeding Stories sites. Whether you are a regular reader or you found this blog through a search engine, I hope it helps you too. I believe that all breastfeeding mothers share a special bond not only with their babies but with all other breastfeeding mothers throughout the world. Cheers!

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Welcome to the New Mothering Times

Well, its the same Mothering Times actually. Same content but with a new look. I've been wanting to make changes for as long as I can remember because I hated the old boring blogger look but the task of changing seem so intimidating I never got round to doing it.

Well, I've done it at last and I like the results. This is much better than the old template and much more representative of what this blog is all about. Its about motherhood and bringing up babies hence the baby images.

We became mothers the moment our babies are born. That is the start of our lifelong journey as mothers. It is the beggining of a wondrous journey. I love being a mother. Don't you?

Psst. One more thing before I forget. I got this new template from FinalSense. I think they have a wonderful selection of blogger templates and deserve a mention here. Its easy to install too as I just found out after months of putting it off. :)

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Bloops and Blunders of a New Mum

My friend related to me about how he and wife went out with baby for the first time. They just took baby and left the house thinking it was like the old days with just the two of them. They had forgotten that baby required a bag when going out...... a bag full of diapers, bottles, wipes, clothing, etc etc etc. That was their first blunder as a new parent.

My first blunder was not dressing baby up. It was baby's first paeditrician visit. When hubby and I reached the clinic it was packed. There were lots of newborns there too since it was a paeditrician at a hospital clinic. We looked around and saw all the little babies all nicely bundled up in comfy blankets wearing cute little booties and mittens and hats. Then we looked at our baby.

She looked like a hero in her short sleeved pantless body suit. Haha. The clinic was very cold and our poor baby was not warmly covered up like the rest of the babies. We had not thought of wearing more clothes for her! No mittens or booties or hat and worse still, not even sleeves or pants!

What was your first blunder as a new mum or dad? Care to share?

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My kids' naptimes at age 3 and 5

Changing the kids' bedtime and waking hours will affect their naptimes too. At the moment they have one nap. This nap is rather late. Sometimes it can be as late as 6-7pm. They would nap for 1-2 hours. That explains the late sleeping hours doesn't it? But as I've said, this suits my arrangement for now.

The older girl who is 5 sometimes skips her naps and I will nap with the 3 year old. For health reasons, I need my afternoon nap as I can't allow myself to go into a sleep debt (meaning I need to have enough sleep or risk a seizure). My 3 year old still needs his afternoon nap so when we nap, I will tell the girl to sit in bed and read her book quietly.

Once, I start changing their bedtimes, their naptimes will be affected. Hmm.... I guess I'll just go ahead and do the change and see what happens than slowly adjust our routines from there. So how am I doing on the first day of our change? I'm letting the kids sleep in again, just so I can have more ME time. HELP! I really need help to change. Change starts with me!!!!

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Changing the kids bedtimes - A challenge

I have a new challenge - to change the kids bedtimes to prepare ahead for next year when I send my girl to kindy. At the moment they go to bed very late, at around 11-12pm and they wake up very late too, at around 10-11pm.

This arrangement works out fine with me because I go to bed late as well so I can play with them, read them stories and we all unwind together. This way they also get to play with their daddy a little in the evenings instead of going straight to bed when he comes back from work. In the mornings, I am relieved to be able to get a little time to myself when they wake up late because once they wake up, my day is constantly interrupted so I treasure this little time I have to myself.

However, since kindy starts around 8.45am, this arrangement obviously cannot continue. So how do I get them to wake up 3-4 hours earlier. Naturally by sending them to bed earlier as well. How I do this? By changing their bed and waking times 15-30 minutes earlier each day/week. That'll mean my bedtime and other daily routines have to change too.

This is a big challenge to me. I've been wanting to do this for some time now but I keep putting it off. I've really got to start doing it and thats the reason for this post. To put down in writing helps my resolve. I will do it... tomorrow.... maybe tomorrow... Hehe. Wish me luck please? And if you have any tips, please share with me. Thanks.

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Sponging baby with a high fever

My 3 year old boy had a high fever that wouldn't go away recently so we took him to the paediatrician. The paediatrician said we had to sponge a child with high fever of more than 38.5C. She said that we could do this at home for children over 3 months but for babies younger than 3 months, one has to give syrup paracetamol, sponge and seek medical help immediately. So its always important to stock up on syrup paracetamol at home because you never know when you might need it. My boy's fever came on quite suddenly at night.

At home we merely put a wet towel over his face and neck area or rub his back with a wet towel if it was too hot but this is what they did at the clinic. (Baby's fever was 40C when we arrived at the clinic).

Before sponging, they gave baby a suppository through the anus. For the sponging, first they switched off the air-conditioning in the room. Then they brought in a tub of water and two wet towels. After that they removed all his clothing. Then they wrapped one wet towel over his tummy and legs and used the other to sponge him all over, arms, hands, face and including his hair and back. They rinsed the towels and repeated this process of wrapping and sponging baby over and over again for about 10 minutes.

Poor baby was very unhappy. He cried "Don't want already. Don't want already." My poor baby.

When they were done, they gave us a dry towel to dry baby. We dressed baby after that. Baby's fever still showed a reading of 39C. The paeditrician instructed us to put baby under the fan for 1/2 hour when we got home. The paeditrician said that sponging the baby was necessary to bring his fever down quickly to prevent a febrile seizure.

Baby's fever came on and off over 2-3 days. He was given antibiotics and is still on it. He hates the taste of it but takes it like a good boy when I tell him that it will make him well faster so he can eat his favourite foods again. I tell him to take the medicine as fast as he can in one mouthful so it will be over quickly and he tries his best. Baby is much better now. Phew! Now lets hope his sister doesn't fall sick!

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Quote for a Full-Time Mother

"Being a full-time mother is one of the highest paying jobs..... since the payment is pure love." -- Mildred B.Vermont

With being so busy and all, I've almost forgotten that I've created a mother's quote category to collect quotes about and for mothers. Here is one which I like. I find it to be true. The more time I invest in my children, the more I get in return, in the form of love. I hope that I can continue to be their rock, their harbour and someone they can always run to and confide in.

I love the picture of the breastfeeding mother too. Its a Akseli Gallen-Kallela, Karelian Mother, 1891. Its just nice for this quote so I have put them together.

I hope you enjoy the quote.

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Protecting our Children

There are beasts out there who rape, sodomize and throw little children from balconies. Sexual crimes against children is rising. However sometimes the perpetrators are not a stranger but someone close, someone trusted.

Today, I want to share an article on the 7 steps to protecting our children: Preventing, Recognizing, and Reacting Responsibly to Child Sexual Abuse - A Guide for Responsible Adults. The introduction to the article stands out to me. It says....

"My child's school has a program to teach children about sexual abuse prevention- but what about adults? Shouldn't we be responsible for the protection of children?"

A child's safety is an adult's job. Children are often taught how to keep themselves safe from sexual abuse - and that's important for them to learn - but it's no substitute for adult responsibility. We make sure children wear seat belts. We walk them across busy streets. We store toxic household cleaners out of reach. Why, then, would we leave the job of preventing child sexual abuse solely to children?Imagine how difficult it is for a child to say "no" to a parent, a teacher, a coach, or clergy.

Even the adults we trust to protect children can't always be trusted. Coaches, teachers, clergy, and parents are authority figures children feel they can trust. Yet, a large percentage of those who sexually abuse children are from this group. These are adults who have the opportunity to "groom" children with affection and attention, making it difficult for children to identify certain behaviors as abuse. And they know that children have been taught to "mind" them. This is why programs that focus on adult responsibility are essential.

Another part of the article which stands out to me is Step 2: Minimize Opportunity. Here is an excerpt:

More than 80% of sexual abuse cases occur in one-adult/one-child situations.Reduce the risk. Protect children.

• Understand that abusers often become friendly with potential victims and their families, enjoying family activities, earning trust, and gaining time alone with children.
• Think carefully about the safety of any one-adult/one-child situations. Choose group situations when possible.
• Think carefully about the safety of situations in which older youth have access to younger children. Make sure that multiple adults are present who can supervise.
• Set an example by personally avoiding one-adult/one-child situations with children other than your own.
• Monitor children's Internet use. Offenders use the Internet to lure children into physical contact.

This is very true indeed. I've read of a case where boys were abused by their male tuition teacher. The parents were home during the lessons but tuition was conducted in a room behind closed doors. You can never be too careful when it comes to your children, girls AND boys alike. So minimize opportunity is very sound advice.

Please read the rest of the article in the link I provided above. It is a good guide for us parents to always be aware and be prepared to protect our children.

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The Generous Wife

I want to take a moment to share a site which I have been subscribing to for some time now.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.

A positive thought a day keeps the blues away.

On the same principle, I hope that a tip a day on how to become a better wife will make me a better wife. With this in mind, I subscribed to the newsletter from The Generous Wife website. Its meant for Christian wives but I think the tips are useful to everyone. Here is an example of a tip I received from my subcription. Its the tip for Thursday, October 25, 2007. I like the tip. I hope you find it useful too.

UNDERSTAND THAT I JUGGLE WORK & HOME RESPONSIBILITIES

Several of the guys shared about the pull between work and home. They voiced the need for understanding over the conflict between work and family needs. They want to make time for family, but their job is what supports their family and it needs to have appropriate attention. It's not always easy to take time off for family things or call from work (when they do call, please realize that they may have to keep it short or that they may be interrupted). Basically it was a plea for understanding that their day is complicated too and they need to invest in their work. A spin off of that was a need for a warm welcome and not having to face responsibilities or troubles the moment they get home. Some even wanted/needed a bit of quiet time when they first got home from work to make the jump from work to family.

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A mother is all I ever wanted to be

I have found my vocation, my calling. A mother is all I ever wanted to be. I'm not a very good mother but I'm learning all the time. Its a dynamic, life long learning process. What could be more exciting than that. This is not a stagnant, boring, 9-5 kinda job. Its very dynamic.

Perhaps some may see me as not very ambitious but who cares as long as I'm happy and I am. I am a happy stay at home mum (SAHM), thats what they call housewives these days in case you don't know. And contrary to what most people may think, I'm not rotting at home. I'm growing, personally and emotionally.

I will never regret giving up my job and looking back and wishing that I had given myself a chance instead of staying at home with the kids because this is where I want to be. What have I given up? Nothing at all. Like I mention, I think I am growing more at home and I am always learning new things. Life is never dull, mundane, routine or boring. Sometimes I wish for a little bit of time for myself but that is all the complaint I have.

This is me but others may differ. If you are ever contemplating giving up your job to be with the kids then you must make sure that home is really where your heart is. Otherwise you may ask yourself the "What if....?" question one day. I'm not saying that home is not in your heart. Home is in everyone's heart but you must be truthful to yourself. Is it the only place, at the topmost of your priorities? Or would you be a happier mum if you are working? I am sure you know the answer to that.

If you think that you are happier working then you should not let anyone pressure you into staying at home for the kids. Stay home only if that is what you really want. Similarly if you think you will be happier at home, don't be pressured to work unless you really have no choice due to financial reasons. In that case then just do the best that you can and enjoy your kids and your home after work instead of feeling unhappy about the situation.

Whatever your choice may be, working or staying at home or working at home, your family will benefit from a happier mum so make sure its really your choice.

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How I want my children to remember me

"My mum? Hmmm.. she always had a frown on her face and she was always shouting and yelling at us. She was always too busy for us too. Busy at the computer or the piano. She didn't allow us to touch the piano and she always got to use the pc first. She was always impatient too. She never waited for me to finish a sentence and she always brushed me aside before I could finish saying something. Sometimes she yelled very loudly and took out the stick and she was always asking us to hurry up ............."

Hmmm... if I continue the way I do with my kids, this will probably be their memories of me or what they tell their friends when they grow up! Oh dear.... I better start changing it to.....

"My mum? She was always smiling and so patient. She always made sure she had time for us no matter how busy she was and mum was always busy. I remember she used to read us stories at every bedtime and naptime. Oh how I loved her stories. She spent a lot of time teaching us too. Daddy would buy all sorts of workbooks for mum and she would sit with us and teach us patiently. She always answered all of our questions patiently. Mum loved to play the piano and she said that we could learn too when we were older. Sometimes she asked us to dance and singalong with her. It was a lot of fun. Mum spent a lot of time on the pc but it was our turn when it was time for mum to exercise. Sometimes we joined mum in her exercises. It was really hilarious. Mum allowed us to help her in the kitchen or in the yard hanging out laundry sometimes. Doing things with mum is what we loved the most. It made us feel very important. She helped us keep our toys and let us help her make the bed and taught us about the importance of being neat........."

Yes, I could go on and on. My children are only young for a short period of time. They are growing so fast and before I know it they would be adults. So I better start working on making their memories of childhood a happy one... RIGHT NOW!

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Motivational Quotes for Wives

This is a mother's blog and recently started a category on Inspiring Quotes for Mothers. However, mothers are wives too, so I think I will include Motivational Quotes for wives in this category. Here's a few.

There's this quote for husbands that says

"The best thing you can do for your children is to love your wife."

I think in all fairness, it should work the other way too.

"The best thing you can do for your children is to love your husband/spouse."

Children thrive in happy homes so the husband and wife should have a good relationship.

I received this quote in an email today. It says

"A successful team beats with one heart."

This reminds me about the numerous times my hubby has complained that he feels alone in making many decisions. He is calling out for my support. I know my hubby loves for me to do things together with him. However, for some reason, sometimes I brush him aside. I am also more negative than positive by nature so I always say "No" first when he approaches me with an idea. I only think about it later and say "Maybe" later on. I know he dislikes this trait of mine.

I must remember this quote and make him feel more supported and appreciated.

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Mother's Guidance is important in learning

I find that mother's guidance is really important in a child's learning. Do take note that I said mother rather than parental. I hate to stereotype but quite often you will see the mother being more involved in the children't studies. Fathers give support and encouragement too but it is usually the mothers who will sit next to the child to guide and teach.

Mother's guidance is really important even from the early years. Take my children for example. My girl is using the Better Chinese site to learn chinese. The site is interactive and fun and it teaches the child chinese through stories, rhymes and songs.

My girl loves the site but she loves it even more with me sitting beside her explaining and guiding her along. Left alone her attention will stray after a while. Its not just online activity. I find that children learn much better when you are sitting beside them guiding, teaching, talking and discussing with them. Its also a great way to spend quality time together with the children.

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Diary of a Blogaholic - Part III

I don't think I have been doing very well so far. There is so much that I want to do. Other priorities. On top of that list is sleep and exercise. Those are important to me to prevent my seizure triggers. Those take up a lot of time. Help!

Second on the list is the kids. They are second not because they are less important but because if I don't take care of myself first, I would not be able to look after them. I need to give them lessons, spend time with them, as well as the routine stuff of feeding and bathing etc. My health situation has prevented me from sending them to preschool so I need to teach them myself. Teaching them takes so much commitment and time and discipline. Routine stuff still gets done but the lessons keeps on getting pushed back day after day. Thats one of the disadvantages of home schooling. Procrastination and lack of discipline, on my part that is. Help!

Third on my list is myself. Not the sleep and exercise part but the me-time part. Doing the things I love, like practising my piano, blogging, doing my cross stitch. Out of all these I constantly find that blogging comes up tops, piano second and my cross stitch remains in my cupboard untouched for several months now. It was supposed to be for my new house but I'm living in the house for several months now and it remains uncompleted. Help!

Fourth on the list is poor hubby of course. He gets the crumbs of my time. Is it any wonder that last night I dreamed that he was looking elsewhere instead of me. Help!

Ok, now that I'm clear about my priorities (writing down always helps), its time to get into action. There is a clear imbalance in my time at the moment. I am getting too much me-time. I spend too much unproductive time online and some time practising my piano which isn't so bad.

What do I need to carry out my plan? A strong dose of self discipline, thats what. Help!

Part I and II of my blogging diary is here and here.

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Diary of a Blogaholic - Part II

So how did I do so far? Well, I wanted to get off my chair after part 1 of the Diary of a Blogaholic ...........but as I made off, ta dum (you know the sound the pc makes when someone comes online) ...... my good friend was online to chat and so we chatted and we chatted and we chatted.

And then I remembered that I had to twiddle with the template on my Parenting Blog to remove some low performing ads that were taking up too much space on my virtual real estate ie my blog. And so I did that.

While I was twiddling with my template, I read some of my favourite blogs, meaning, I went blog hopping and before I knew it, several hours had passed. :P I didn't write any blog posts at all but I had managed to spend a lot of time online. This is not productive time. Tsk. Tsk.

I did get off and stayed off during the weekend. Although I did check my email and went to MyBlogLog to change my profile image there after learning about the merger with Yahoo from Dolphine.

Hmm.... I can't say I've been very good but a little success is better than none. Hehe. I am still trying my very best to reduce my time but increase my productivity online. I think it can be done. It just requires blogging smartly with speed, discipline and priotising. My aim is to reduce unproductive time online.

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Diary of a Blogaholic trying to treat her blogging addiction

Yesterday, I tried to treat my own blogging addiction by going cold turkey. How did it go? Well lets see, I was a good girl at first, I played playdoh with the kids which they love. I did snap some pictures of our playdoh to put in my parenting blog in the kids craft category later on. (Hey! I said I wouldn't go near my blog but I didn't say I wouldn't think about it right?)

I ate with the kids, bathed them, practised my piano, did my 20 minutes exercise routine. Then I sat down with one of them to teach him his ABC's online (Oops! Online again. But online for my baby not for me should not be counted right?). I nearly nodded off while looking at his ABCs. I don't do that when I'm blogging. I'm very wide awake. Hehe.

So, I was a good girl..... till 5pm when blog withdrawal symptoms promted me to write 3 blog posts in an hour. Oh dearie me. Cold turkey did not work! Nevermind, at least I aimed high and fell lower.

What I'm trying to ahieve here is blogging but blogging smartly. I have to find a balance. I'm trying to blog for shorter periods of time and still achieve the same delight and earnings in blogging. I'm trying to learn to blog at the speed of lightning so that I have time to do other things. Not only must I blog well, I must blog well and FAST.

Fortunately, I did some of my work assignments yesterday because there's more today and if I don't get them out of the way, they will snowball. I'm going to do the same today. I've written/published 5 blog posts this morning so I'm going to turn my back away from the PC for the rest of the day. But even as I write I received a pop-up mail from an advertiser. Fortunately, its payment, not another assignment. Phew! Otherwise I may be go back on my words and be stuck on my chair a while longer.

Ok. I'm off. Its Friday today. I will be back on Monday for another post but I will still be around in my comment boxes. Happy Weekend everyone!

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Mothers who spend too much time online

I'm afraid I'm one of those mothers. I can't blame it entirely on my blogging but it hasn't helped. Even before I started blogging, I spent quite a lot of time online, surfing, playing games etc. Then I started blogging and it got worse. Then I started paid blogging and it got even worse.

With blogging, I spend a lot of time blog hopping and socialising. With paid blogging, I spend a lot of time searching for jobs and doing them. I'm a one income family so when I found out that my blog had value and I could earn something from doing something I love, I was estatic. I thought that if money could drop out of the sky onto my blog, why shouldn't I claim it? Lol!

How naive I was. Money does not drop out of the sky. My blogs have value, yes, but I have to work hard to keep it that way. I have to work hard to make sure I get traffic, maintain my ranking by writing good content and I have to do research and write good, fresh, content for the advertisers who sponsor my blogs. At the same time, I must not forget my blog readers, those whom I had time to socialise more with earlier on.

What does that all mean? It means that it takes up a big chunk of TIME out of my life. Time is what my children need from me. Thats why I'm a STAY-AT-HOME-MUM. I did not stay home to give them distracted time and little bits and pieces of me. So now, I'm struggling to find a balance. I admit it. I've become addicted to blogging as well as paid blogging.

I wish someone could come up with a good suggestion on how to overcome my blogging addiction. I guess for today, I will go cold turkey and not look at my blogs all day (including anything else related to blogging like my stats, earnings, sponsorships etc) and see how that feels like. I will not even do the two advertiser orders on my personal blog which I've got a 24-48 hour deadline to meet. So there!

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How to become a good wife and mother

I want to be a good wife and mother. Its a very simple goal and one that I've yet to meet despite it being so simple!

So how do I become a good wife and mother I ask myself. The answer is very simple really. It is understanding the needs of my hubby and children and fulfilling them. It is all about knowing and understanding my husband and kids really well. It is knowing the way to their hearts. But knowing is not enough. The next step is doing or fulfilling their hearts desire.

For my hubby, the way to his heart is to become more dependable, more organised and to do things together with him more frequently. It is also to stop complaining so much. When I do this, he becomes happier and in return he returns my love. Yes, love really does go round. When you give love, you receive love.

For my kids, the way to their hearts is to listen to them and to play with them. Thats even simpler but again I have trouble fulfilling this simple thing. I have all sorts of excuses from me time to lack of time. I don't fulfil it and as a result I get kids who shout back at me when I shout at them to leave me alone so I can complete some of my own tasks. I know that the way to my kids hearts is to listen and to play with them. And when I do this, they don't act up. They become very nice, loving kids who listen to me.

So now that I've written down the simple things I need to do to become a better wife and mother, like any other goal, I must break them up into smaller more manageable tasks so that I meet those goals.

I was a good wife during the weekend because I tried. I may not always succeed but I did make my best effort to do things together with him as well as to control my temper. When I saw that we had become unhappy about something small which could have blown out of control into something bigger and spoilt everyone's weekend, I put out the fire when it was small and all was well again. That is a small step. Next time, I will do better and prevent the fire from starting. ;)

I told myself that I will try to be a good mother too starting this week. Its only Monday and I've failed. So now I'm going to break it down into more manageable goals. Here they are.

1. Stop to listen when they talk to me
2. Play with them at least 30 minutes each day (By this, I mean uninteruppted play. I wanted to write at least one hour but I think I'll start small ie 30 minutes. Hehe. I want to break that down further to spend time separately with each kid each day but I think I will try to meet this goal first)

Writing down, always helps me to think better and do better. From now, I will write down and review these goals periodically and add new ones etc in my goal to become a better wife and mother. Wish me luck!

If you like this post check out my collection of poems for mothers. I wrote this collection of poems over 8 years. It is all about the joys of motherhood including the self doubt we mothers sometimes have, all presented in poem form and short quotes for mothers. Buy now from Amazon Mother, Wife, Myself: Poems about finding yourself after becoming a mother and wife.

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Where to get your restaurant supplies and equipment

This post is for those in the food business. Whether you are doing a small home catering business, just starting a small family bistro or running a full fledged restaurant, you should know where to get your Restaurant furniture, equipment and supplies. You can try Galasource for your Restaurant business supplies. They have over 300,000 products from over 300 vendors.

From what I can see, the supplies are rather comprehensive. Whether you are running a Chinese Restaurant, a Mexican Restaurant or looking something for a Hotel Banquet hall or for your Church, you'll find something here. From commercial ice machines to Bakery Equipment, from janatorial cleaning supplies to kitchen cooking utensils, you'll find these items easily from the categories listed on the sidebar.

If you don't want to use the categories to find the equipment you are looking for, you can further refine your search by using the search tool provided. For example, if you're looking for Commercial Refrigeration, you can type in those words (remember to put them in inverted commas for better results) and you will be provided with a list of commercial refrigeration equipment in a wide variety of styles or by brand name if thats what you prefer.

You can find wholesale prices, volume discounts and commercial deals. Like I mentioned, it has something for everyone in the food business.

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Do You Have Harmony in Your Life?

• Do you have harmony with yourself?


• Do you have harmony with your spouse?


• Do you have harmony with your children?


• Do you have harmony with your other family members, parents, siblings etc?


• Do you have harmony at work ie have a good balance between work and family life?


• Do you have harmony with your health and body condition?


• Do you have harmony in your life?

If not, you better do something about it soon because not being in harmony in any of the areas in life leaves us feeling stressed out and it damages our health. So strive for harmony especially in areas close to your heart, whether its family, friends, or work. Strive for harmony.

At the moment I have disharmony in one or two areas so the point of this post is to talk myself to work myself back into harmony. I must make an effort. Harmony comes to those who make the effort. For example...

• If you want a better relationship with your spouse/family members, you must work for it


• If you want to have a better work life balance, you must make it happen


• If you want to have better health, you must exercise and eat right

We should all strive for a stress free life as far as possible. So make the effort. Work for it and it will happen. You will have harmony in your life. May Peace, Love and Harmony be with you, the readers of this blog. Have a nice day!

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Microwaved Chicken Stew

Here's another easy peasy recipe for lazy busy mums. Its Chicken Stew you can cook in 30 minutes (including preparation time) using the microwave oven.

I was done by the time I finished cleaning up the mess I left behind from cutting the vegetables so after eating there was very little cleaning up to do, only our plates. :) I hate cleaning up the dishes all at one time. Spacing it out like this makes it seem like less work.

Here's the recipe for my Microwaved Chicken Stew:

Incredients for Chicken Stew:

Chicken Thigh
Potatoes
Carrots
Bombay Onions
Brocolli
Cinammon Stick
Star Anise

Tip: You can add any vegetable you like eg baby corn, or those frozen carrot, peas and corn if you have no time to cut vegetables.

Seasoning and Sauce for the Chicken Stew:

Salt
Sugar
Pepper
Oyster Sauce
Light Soya Sauce
Dark Soya Sauce
Sesame Oil
Corn Flour
Water

How to Cook the Chicken Stew:

1. Cut everything into bite sized pieces
2. Place everything in a dish suitable for microwave
3. Pour sauce incredients over it
4. Microwave for 20 minutes
5. You're done!

Tip: Stop halfway through to stir and add cornflour to thicken stew as desired.

Go to my Mumsgather blog to view pictures of the Chicken Stew.

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For you mothers, when you're feeling down

I had started a category for Inspiring Quotes for Mothers a little while back. So I would like to take a moment to share this inspirational site which I often refer to for inspiration especially when I'm feeling down.

I love this inspirational site which plays beautiful inspirational flash movies. I found it when I first started blogging about 2 years ago on another blogger's sidebar. I always refer to it when I am feeling down and in need of some inspiration. I have recommended it to many of my online friends or I would sometimes send them a link to cheer someone up when they are feeling blue. The motto on the site is "One flash movie from this site is all it takes to leave a heartprint." It has certainly left and imprint on mine.

One of the inspirational movies I refer to often when I am feeling blue or when I am overwhelmed by my job as a mother is this one. Its called Mom's Journey. Although its more relevant for someone mourning the loss of their mom, I like to refer to it every now and then to remind me of my own journey as a mother. It is very beautiful and touching. I love the words and the music. I hope you enjoy it too.

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Time Saving Tips for Mothers

The other day I wrote about Money Saving Tips. Today, I want to touch on Time Saving Tips. Here's a few of mine. I have put them in no particular order or category, only whatever comes to mind.

1. Have a place for everything and a everything in its place. This reduces clutter and prevents things from being lost especially small things like keys, spectacles, handphones etc.
2. Wrap your oven toaster tray with aluminium foil. I learned this very useful tip from my dad. Previously I used to have to scrub my oven toaster tray and it still looked burnt. It was difficult to clean after each use. Now, I just wrap it up with aluminium foil. After use, I just throw the foil away and wrap the tray with a new foil. It saves me time from having to clean the tray out.
3. Minimize your house decorations. A clean look makes it clutter free and you will save time on wiping and cleaning all your little decorations and picture frames so try to maintain a clean clutter free look.
4. Do your filing as it comes it. Pay your bills on time as it comes in then file them away immediately. This reduces last minute rush and lost bills and fines. Once you have paid it and filed it away, you can move on to other things. Otherwise your todo list will just get longer and longer and overwhelm you.
5. Pay your bills online. Need I say more? This is self explanatory. Its definitely a time saver.

Thats all I can think of for today. If you have a tip to add to this. Please send it to me via email or leave a link on my comment. I will include your tip with a link back to you. Thank you.

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Chicken Rice Recipe for the busy mom

Its been forever since I posted or shared any recipes. Well, here's a simple chicken rice recipe thats too good not to be shared with other busy moms. Its really easy and tastes nice too.

Since I had a seizure and was diagnosed with epilepsy, it would not be safe for me to cook on my own using open fire over the stove so I had to find other ways to cook. My sister taught me to cook this all-in-a pot chicken rice that requires only the rice cooker to cook. Here's how to make the chicken rice.

Ingredients:

• Ginger
• Shallots or Small Onions
• Garlic
• Boneless Chicken Thigh
• Uncooked Rice

Seasoning for the Chiken:

• Salt
• Sugar
• Pepper
• Sesame Oil
• Oyster Sauce

Here's how you cook your chicken rice:

• Peel and smack the Ginger, Onions and Garlic to bring out the aroma
• Cut the chicken into bite size pieces and season
• Wash the rice and dump everything into the rice cooker, add water as you normally would when cooking plain rice and press cook
• Voila! You've got lovely smelling chicken rice in about 20 minutes.

Tip: You can leave a little bit of skin on the chicken if you're not super health concious. It makes the rice a little bit more oily and fragrant. If you like the smell of sesame oil, you can sprinkle some into the cooker just before dishing out and serving.

Sorry no photos. I'm a busy mom, remember. You can cook this simple chicken rice dish when you're really pressed for time. Frying some green leavy vegetable and a quick egg dish to go along with it will give you a complete meal for your family.

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Money Saving Tips for Mothers

Little clothing and toys costs so much these days. Why, those cute little clothes sometimes costs much more than adult clothing. I wonder why. Afterall, it requires less material!

Here is my money saving tips for mothers. Perhaps you would like to share yours too?

1. Don't buy branded. They grow up so quickly and little branded clothes and shoes will still look brand new when they have outgrown them. Well, ok, just indulge in one or two if you must. They are pretty pricey.
2. Shop during sales. You can buy bigger items in bulk during sales when they are being offered up to 70% off its normal prices.
3. Apply and use membership cards. You can do these for places you frequent. I have membership cards for eateries (usually fastfood when it comes to kids), bookshops, department stores, toyshops. They take up wallet space but thats ok if it helps me save 10-20% for each transaction. Plus you benefit from members only days.
4. Use discount coupons. You can get them from the leaflets provided by the stores. Cut them out and make use of them.
5. Buy larger sizes. You can do this for clothes but not shoes. Little feet need properly fitted shoes. Its ok for clothes though, especially pyjamas. You can fold up the sleeves and trouser bottoms.
6. Homemade is better. You can make toys instead of buying. However I'm lousy at this as hubby and I love to buy toys!
7. Accept hand-me-downs. I get a lot of lovely hand-me-downs books, toys and clothes. All still brand new. And they get recycled and passed around the family to the younger kids.
8. Eat in not out. Eating out is so expensive sometimes its more economical to eat in. The baby will be easier to handle too. I used to stay home when the kids were younger as it takes more effort to bring them out to eat but now that they are older we take them out more to experience new foods and places.
9. Breastfeed!!! Its free. Besides saving on not having to buy formula, you are also saving $$$ from needing to hit the gym as breastfeeding helps you burn more calories. (This great tip was contributed by Shireen Loh (Momsie Tales). Now, how could I have forgotten that! That should have been first on my list. :) Thank you Shireen.

Anyone out there would like to share your tip? I will include it in this post with a link back to you. Thanks.

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Cherish the .... NOW!

Yesterday at a family gathering to celebrate the school holidays, one of the little family members looked so sweet. She was all dressed up like a little fairy princess doll. I looked at my girl and thought to myself that she had overgrown that stage. Now why didn't I dress her up like a cute little fairy princess doll when she was at that cute stage. I was always complaining about how busy I was and how expensive some of those dresses were. So now, I've missed that stage and I can't turn back the clock! The just grow up so quickly!

Later at a park near my sister's house, I asked her how come she didn't go to the park more often since it was quite lovely and within walking distance to her house. She lamented that no one wanted to go with her. Her grown or almost grown sons had activities of their own now.

I thought about my own little family and how the kids still love to go to the mall and the park with us. I better cherish that now before they grow up and I miss this stage too.

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Tears, Fears, Fights and Interruptions

I feel so tired today.... from having to deal with more tears, fears, fights and interruptions. Its tiring dealing with this on a daily basis.

Everyday, I have to become a coach to teach and quell fears and frustrations. Then I have to become referree to stop the fights (between siblings). I have to deal with tears of losing, fears and frustrations. At times I have to be the cheerleader, cheering them on. Then I become the spectator to applaud and give them encouragement and then the best part of it all is I have to deal with interruptions from the very same little people that I am trying to coach, be a referree to as well as the cheering spectator to.

Its so, so tiring I tell you. Its tiring to switch back and forth all day long in all these roles. I think I need some coaching myself and a little cheering on too.

HELP!

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Quote: A Mother is Born

First, I would like to thank reader Shandi for contributing the lovely quote below. I hope other readers will enjoy it too as I did. Thank you Shandi!

The moment a child is born,

the mother is also born.

She never existed before.

The woman existed,

but the mother, never.

A mother is something absolutely new.

I find this absolutely true. I became a mother the moment my child was born and I had to learn how to be a mother. I'm still learning! Its a lifelong process. I existed before I became a mother and now that I am a mother I constantly struggle between the woman in me and the mother in me.

I am sure all you mothers out there will agree with me that being a mother is one of the hardest roles ever! Lets continue to encourage and inspire each other in our roles as mother.

The image above is from dartmouth.edu site

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Inspiring Quotes for Mothers

I'm going to start a category on "Inspiring Quotes for Mothers" on this blog to share inspiring quotes, sites and poems for mothers. Some of the poems will be written by me, some are those that I come across. I will give full credit and link to those that I come across. If you would like to share your quote or poems, feel free to email me at mumsgather@yahoo.com and I'll post it in this category so that we can enjoy them together.

Sometimes being a mother is a "thankless" job and you feel really tired from the routine and the grind. Thats when you need a little bit of cheering up and some inspiration to feel fresh again. As mothers we give of ourselves without expecting anything in return. So to keep ourselves fresh, sometimes we should give ourselves a little inspiration. Reading inspiring words is one good way.

I'll start off with this quote that someone sent to me on my cellphone on Mother's Day. I really liked it so I did not erase that message since May! Now I can store it here on this blog for Mothers and erase it from my cellphone to make way for other messages. Lol!

A mom is GODS love in action

She looks with her heart and feels with her eyes

A mom is the bank where the children deposit all their worries and hurt

A mom is the cement that keeps her family together

and her love lasts a lifetime

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8 things about me

Kiasumum tagged me to write 8 things about me. Ok. This is easy peasy. Since I'm doing it on this blog, I shall tailor my answers to the focus of this blog.

1. 1 am 41.


2. I got married at 35.


3. I had my first baby at 36.


4. I had my second child at 38.


5. I tried for a third child but then I had a chemical pregnancy.


6. I had an extremely difficult time breastfeeding both times. (hence the reason for this blog - You'll find all my breastfeeding stories in the breastfeeding category)


7. I have just been diagnosed with epilepsy and my greatest fear is that my children will get frightened if they see me in another seizure.


8. I love my family dearly but sometimes they also make me hopping mad. Haha.

Now I have to tag 8 people and they are...

1. Vien


2. Shannon


3. Samm


4. Michelle


5. Jazzmint


6. Sesame


7. Clair


8. Mamabok

Ladies, just ignore the tag if you've already done it or if you simply hate tags.

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"Mummy, please don't tell daddy..."

I wonder whether all children use this sentence? "Mummy, please don't tell daddy?" or the other way around "Daddy, please don't tell mummy?" I guess they do, depending on who is more fierce. Lol!

Last night my girl said to me "Mummy, please don't tell daddy that I put the dolls shoe in my mouth."

She then proceeded to ask me all sorts of question like what will happen to the shoe if she had to go to the hospital to have it taken out from her throat or her stomach ie whether they will keep it or throw it away. Hahaha. (Children are so innocent and its amazing and amusing to know what goes on in their heads sometimes.)

Anyway, the point of this post is sometimes children do ask these sorts of questions and I wonder what is the best way to handle it. Usually if its something really small and unimportant I would play along and say "Ok, I won't tell daddy" but if its something bigger I would say "No, I have to tell daddy about this because it is wrong to blah blah blah......"

How would you handle it?

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"Mummy, I spoke to a stranger."

One night before we slept, my girl suddenly sat up and said tearfully "Mummy, I talked to a stranger."

"When was this?" I ask and she replied "Long time ago at our old house."

I was really curious now because I don't think she had any opportunity to speak to any strangers at our old house since we lived in an apartment and we hardly saw our neighbours. She looked really guilty and tearful now.

Finally the truth came out. "Mummy, I dialed 123 on the phone and talked to a stranger. I asked Is this daddy and then I said No and I put down the phone."

Hahaha. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I had told her not to talk to strangers before and kids really take what we say very seriously! I told her that yes she should not talk to strangers and yes she should not play with the phone but its ok. Its good that she told me and its over 6 months ago now, its in the past so she should not worry about it anymore.

Another night she told me "Mummy, I drew on the floor. There was no space on my paper so I drew on the floor. Then I tried to find the spot to clean it so no one would know but I couldn't find it. Please don't tell daddy." She looked really guilty and worried. I reassured her that it was only an accident so it was ok since she did not do it on purpose and she should not try to hide things from mummy but she should tell mummy that she accidentally drew on the floor, can mummy help to clean it up please?"

Looks like bedtime is confession time. Lol! I hope that she will continue to talk to me like this.

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Raising an Emotionally Healthy Child

My boy and girl are really emotional little ones. And its a big burden (no burden is not the correct word), its a big task to me to make sure that they grow up emotionally healthy. At the moment, I see them turning to me to fulfill their emotional needs. This is sometimes quite scary to me as a mother. Scary in the sense, that I am afraid that if I don't guide them in the right direction, they will not grow up emotionally healthy BECAUSE OF ME!!!

I feel like such a lousy mum, most of the time. I'm really impatient. I shout and scream. Sometimes I turn them away when they come to me because I just don't have the time or the truth is I feel quite fed up after dealing with one whole day of pestering so I have become quite immune to their emotional needs! Another thing, most of the time, I don't LISTEN to them. I just say "Yes, Yes" just to get them off my backs and of course they realise it so they pester me even more!

I don't show them the correct way to handle their emotions often enough. Being a rather emotional person myself, I have to first learn how to handle my emotions before I can teach my kids how to. Controlling my emotions is really hard. I sometimes shudder when I see my little girl shout in the exact same manner as I do instead of asking nicely. I know she picked it up from me! Most of the time I don't ask them to do things nicely. I shout at them!

And then yesterday, I received an article about "Your Child's Emotional Well-Being" from Today's Parent.com. (I subscribe to their email newsletter and am really pleased by the articles they send me which are customised according to my child's age). The one paragraph that really spoke to me was this one which I shall reproduce below:

"Yes. Children aren't mind readers. I meet parents who say, "They know I love them to bits..." when their behaviour makes me wonder if the kids do know, and what makes the parent think they know, and when he last told them. And what the child thought his words meant. Children need to know that parents take pleasure in them. So when did this parent, who's so sure his kid knows he loves him, last ask for more company from the child than the child wanted from him? When did he last ask the child if he had time for a game? When did he last ask for a hug? All too often it's the other way round, so kids feel that they always want more of mom or dad than is willingly offered."

So when was the last time you last ask for more company from your child than they did from you?

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FTWM or SAHM

I was tagged by Sasha. Since this tag is related to Mothers I thought it would be appropriate to be here on my blog for Mothers.

~~~Instructions~~~Here’s how it works:
1. So easy peasy, if you were given a choice, would you be a SAHM or FTWM? Just provide 3 darn good reasons.
2. Include your post link to the list below and Finally,
3. Tag another three mommies

1. Immomsdaughter prefers to be a SAHM
2. Miche prefers to be a SAHM too.
3. SweetPea is happy being a PTWM
4. AllThingsPurple choose to be a WAHM
5. Dr. Bernard Chan is both Mom and Dad
6. 5xMom wants to be … both?
7. Samm ….?
8. Helen prefers to be a FTWM
9. Adrian is a WAHD and seriously lacking sleep
10. Sasha is a GM.
11. Mumsgather just wants to be a GM (not the same type of GM as Sasha. Lol!)

Of course if given a choice I would be SAHM thats why I'm SAHM mah. Its so obvious I refuse to answer. Hahaha. So I'm going to give this a little twist.

I shall say that whether I am a FTWM or SAHM or WAHM or whatever, all I want to be and strive to be is to be a Good Mum. (GM) Why? Because.....

1. Everyone needs a good mum so its important to me to be a GM.
2. Its pointless to be unhappy about not being able to choose being a SAHM, FTWM or whatever and the grass isn't always greener on the other side. So whatever side you are on its important to be a GM instead of being an unhappy mum.
3. Even if you get the choice of being who you want to be ie a SAHM, FTWM or whatever, its not much good if you're not a GM so its important to be a GM anyway.

Then Tag 3 mommies/DADDY:

1. Mama Bok
2. Stay-At-Home Mum (You tag me I tag you back. Fair anot?)
3. Annie Q

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Is Air Travel Safe For My Baby? Ask the Captain!

We mothers are worriers.... right from the time we conceive the baby. One common worry among pregnant mothers is whether air travel would be safe for them and their babies. This is a common question most mothers who have to travel would ask their gynaecologists. But why not ask the Captain or pilot too?

Here's what Captain Stacey Chance has to say about flying while pregnant.

It is important to check in advance with your selected airline regarding special regulations concerning pregnant passengers. Many airlines have existing regulations that must be followed closely to ensure the safety of you and your baby. It is important to understand that while airline travel is safe, some special considerations are important to consider while flying during pregnancy.

In 2001, the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecologists released several precautions for pregnant air travelers who suffer from obstetric and/or medical complications. As stated in this news release, most US airlines permit women to fly up to 36 weeks gestation on domestic flights and 35 weeks gestation for international flights. To prevent unforeseen emergencies, pregnant women should avoid air travel with existing medical or obstetric complications, such as pregnancy-induced hypertension, poorly controlled diabetes, sickle cell disease, or if they suffer from a significant risk for premature labor or placental abnormalities (ACOG, 2001). If your personal and pregnant health does not suffer from any complications, you should do well during flight as long as you make a few precautions to increase your comfort level while on the ground and in the air.

If you experience anxiety while flying, the remainder of this course/book's information will help you adjust to flying while pregnant. This information will be helpful for both pregnant and non-pregnant travelers who feel anxious during flight.

If possible, request a seat in the front of the plane. Obtaining an aisle seat is best, as this gives a little extra room and makes it easier to get up and walk around during extended flights. The farther you are into your pregnancy will increase the frequency in which you will need to use the restroom. Sitting in an aisle seat makes frequent restroom visitations much easier. Many air travelers worry about the formation of blood clots, especially during lengthy flights. Pregnant women are advised to wear support stockings and periodically move their lower legs to allow for proper blood circulation (ACOG, 2001).

If you are traveling across several time zones, be sure to take into account how this can affect your body. It is important to get plenty of rest before departing, and plan for extra rest when you reach your destination. It is a good idea to allow yourself a couple of days to readjust to different time zones. Gradually adjust your bedtimes and mealtimes toward your destination's time zone. Move these times back in preparation for your return journey, as this will help mitigate the uncomfortable effects often referred to as jet lag. For some women, making a few proactive, preparative changes is well worth the effort. If possible, motivate your travel partner to do this as well. You both may tolerate the travel easier by doing so.

Be certain to fly in pressurized aircraft, like commercial jets. Some smaller aircraft that feed into larger airports and most personal aircraft are not pressurized. Significant changes in pressure at high altitudes may reduce the cabin's level of oxygen that is needed by you and also by your baby. Low cabin humidity and changes in cabin pressure "may result in an increased heart rate, increased blood pressure and a significant decrease in breathing capabilities in pregnant women with a weakened cardiovascular system" (ACOG, 2001). Be sure to ask your travel representative or airline whether you will be traveling in a pressurized aircraft and if there are any airline-regulated precautions in adjusting to changing cabin pressure for pregnant women. Above all, be sure to advise your attendant and airline that you are pregnant.

When making arrangements for your air travel, be careful to look at the food menus available. Be sure to pick a meal that is high in protein and allows you to make healthy choices. You may request special dietary requests ahead of time with most airlines serving in-flight meals. Also pack extra water, and drink plenty of fluids during your journey. This will counteract the effects of dehydration that results from the drier air in aircraft cabins. Also bring along some individually wrapped crackers or healthy snacks in the event you need to supplement your airline meal or need something to settle your stomach before, during, or after your flight.

A seatbelt should be worn continuously throughout the flight. The risk of trauma due to unpredictable turbulence is significant, and wearing your seatbelt is highly recommended (ACOG, 2001). Fasten the seatbelt so the belt is snug and just below your abdomen. Do not hesitate to ask the flight attendant if you need extra assistance.

By making just a few modifications to your normal flying routine, you will ensure a safe and comfortable flight during your pregnancy. Leave the rest to the capable and competent flight crew.

References: ACOG, 2001. ACOG News Release: ACOG Addresses Air Travel During Pregnancy. Joseph Banken, PhD - Assistant Professor, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology

The article above was reproduced with the permission of Captain Stacey Chance who has helped many become more confident about flying with his free online Fear of Flying Help Course. The course has animations and videos to support it. Pregnant mothers may find it useful to view some of the videos as a preparation on what to expect. Those who experience anxiety while flying may find the entire course useful.

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Whats fun about being a mother?

Why, you get free entertainment of course.

I got so amused the other day when my little girl said to me "Mama, you look like other people." after I had a haircut.

I get so moved when she said to me "Mummy, I love you on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday."

I get equally moved when my little boy comes to me and says "Mummy, I want to hug hug you."

Then I laugh when he sings "Mummy, mummy, hug hug hug, hug hug hug, hug hug hug. Mummy, mummy hug hug hug, All day long." (Sung to the tune of "The Wheels of the Bus")

Thats the fun part about being a mother and it makes all the tough days worthwhile and my housewife dilemma pale in comparison and become insignificant.

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Mothers and Daughters

My sister who's daughter is 14 tells me that she is not ready to for her daughter to grow up so fast. "She doesn't talk to me anymore." she says. "Just one or two years ago, she would tell me everything she did at school as soon as she got home. Now she goes straight up to her room and whispers with her brother or heads for the computer or telephone."

"Maybe I'm too strict with her." she says. "Maybe, I'm too protective... but she shouldn't be interested in boys at this age. I have to be strict! Maybe......................."

Hmmmm... I do wonder what my relationship with my daughter will be like in a few years from now. I do hope that she will be able to talk to me about everything, about school, about her feelings and emotions, about her friends, girls as well as boys.

Thats a big wish. Just how do I make that happen? As mothers we are torn in between protecting them and hence we are strict in trying to protect them and that sort of destroys the close relationship we have with our girls. Its really tough being a mother. I would like to be a mother and a friend to my daughter but can that really happen? I do hope that my relationship with my daughter will remain close. I really really hope so.

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Nighttime Toilet Training - Success at Last

Woohoo! Yippee! Hip Hip Hurrah! Yahoo! Phew! Ok Ok. I'm exagerating but I'm really glad we made it. At last my girl is fully toilet trained for day as well as nighttime. The last mile ie the night toilet training was the hardest hurdle to cross. The daytime training was completed in about 2 weeks about 2 years ago.


What I did wrong:

• grumbled
• complained
• scolded
• nagged

None of the above worked or speeded up the process in any way. Hahaha. She only became fearful, discouraged and lost her self esteem ie became negative and thought she would not be able to do it.

What I did right:

• encouraged
• praised
• took her to pee before sleep and during the night when she stirred (that did not create a habit but rather it helped break the habit of peeing in the diapers or pants as what she used to do)
• waited till she was ready (in this case, she made the move ie she told me she was ready to try)
• dangled a carrot before her (hahaha)

And pictured below here is the carrot. She chose it herself and was happy to stick success stickers for each dry night on her calander. Nice eh? Not my photographic skills of course but the little cute dollhouse with lights that actually work. I wish I were a kid again. Nevermind, I can play together with her. Lol!

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Bye Bye Diapers

My girl has stayed dry at night for 16 days consecutively now with no accidents in between. Yahoo!!!! I can now kiss the diapers goodbye since my boy is already off it. Hubby says he feels a little bit sad. It means they are growing up fast. He is a sentimental fella. That hubby of mine.

I don't fee sad. I feel happy. Happy that we are saving money on diapers. Happy that its now much easier for me not to have to change diapers anymore. Taking them to the toilet to wee wee is much easier and cheaper too.

The reward system has worked out very well. My girl is happy to stick the stickers on her calander and countdown the days till her reward, a toy she picked out for herself. She is also happy and feels a sense of achievement and pride. It helps promote a positive feeling overall and better self esteem as well. I have a feeling she will love that toy she has worked so hard towards getting the most of all.

Now we're also using the reward system to get her to wear her own shoes and its worked out very well too. Reward is certainly much better than punishment and yields better results.

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Night Toilet Training Progress

Today is the fourth consecutive day the bed has stayed dry in the morning. A fourth day of continuous success with no breaks in between. Success means waking up once in the middle of the night or early morning to get my girl to pee. At least thats much better then waking up to clean wet clothes, bedsheets and blankets!

This gives her the positive feeling of achievement too instead of waking up to a another wet bed and failure. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is the turning point to real success.

I remember waking up one night to wash wet clothes, wet bedsheets and blankets despite having the protective mat on as well as dealing with tears of unhappiness. And whats worse was I had to do it all over again that same morning! Boy! Was I frustrated. My husband took one look at my unhappy face and said "Maybe you should just put her back on the diapers since she's not ready and it makes you so unhappy." I believe, he says this because it annoys him to see my grumpy face first thing in the morning before he goes to work.

I said "I can't put her back on diapers because she initiated this. She was motivated enough to said she wanted to be off diapers now. So I cannot do it." "Then don't be so grumpy and unhappy over it" he says. Sure its easy for him to say that as well as suggest this and that. He's not the one doing it!!!! Ok. I'm done ranting. Please wish me success and good sleep throughout the following nights.

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Mothering is really hard work

Being a mother is really a tough job. Its not easy to be woken up from sleep to feed hungry babies and change dirty diapers, to feed reluctant little mouths, to get charged up little ones to go to bed, to answer endless questions from inquisitive little minds, chase playful little ones around to change their clothes and the list goes on and on.

And thats why I've resisted having a helper or a maid for as long as I could. The reason is due to human nature. I'll explain why.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, I now have a part-time helper. And due to the lazy human nature, I must say that I am tempted, very very tempted, to ask the part time helper to feed, bathe, change, wash dirty smelly little bottoms and do all the other "hard" parts of motherhood while I just sit back and do the easy part of playing, loving and cuddling them. Hahaha.

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Toilet training is easier when kids are ready and motivated

I had mentioned ealier that my girl promised not to wear diapers to sleep anymore and try to stay dry after her 5th birthday. She has stayed dry a long time ago during the day (I can't remember when) and recently for daytime naps but not during the night.

I had tried to get her off diapers during the night several times before unsuccessfully ending in tears, frustration and anger on both our parts. It was a real disaster!

Now she has made her own move and commitment to stay dry. And its been good so far. She said she wanted to give it a try one time before her birthday and so she did but she woke up the next morning with the bed all wet and in tears.

After her birthday she tried again. The first morning she patted her bed when she woke up and was happy with her success and achievement when it was dry. We gave her a doughnut and a star to encourage her. Last night (the 2nd night) she woke up at 3.00am and I took her to the toilet to pee. This morning she woke up and was dry and happy again. She got another star.

She's working on collecting 30 stars before getting the toy she has been eyeing. Her 3 year old brother has got about 18 stars now and on his way to getting his present. Soon we will be diaper free and saving lots and lots of money! Yippeee!!

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Longing for another baby

Once I complained about large maternity dresses, now I look at them with longing.
Once, I complained about how tired newborns make me, now I look at newborns with loving eyes and more longing.
Once I complained about how heavy I felt during pregnancy, now I wish I could get pregnant.
Once I complained about morning sickness and leaking breasts, now I wouldn't mind them for the rewards they reap.
I wish very much to have another baby but I can't due to age and my health.

Hubby and I have always unanimously agreed and wanted to have three kids but it seems like our wishes will not come true now. I'm not getting any younger at 41 this year. We tried but I had a chemical pregnancy instead and now with my condition and being on medication that could be harmful to a baby, our wishes seem further away and more impossible now. I can only look at cute, cuddly newborns and pregnant mummies with envy because alas it is not to be for us. And anyone reading this, please don't tell me, you've already got two, you should be happy and thankful. Of course I'm happy and thankul but I'm also sad at the same time.

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Who says boys are slower to toilet train?

My 3 year old boy is fully toilet trained now and it took me only about 1-2 weeks to do it. I trained him for the day time but as soon as that was done, he automatically stopped wetting his diapers at night. Phew!

On the other hand, my 5 year old girl still wears diapers at night. I think its my fault really. Previously when I tried to take her off her nighttime diapers, I would get so worked up and annoyed whenever she wet the bed that she has developed a scare about the whole process, I'm afraid.

She wakes up with a heavy diaper each morning and each night we would have the same conversation. She wants to pee every few minutes. Its really tiring. She has promised to go off her diaper when she turns 5 next week. And I have promised to give her a reward after collecting 30 stars. Lets see how that turns out. I'll report here.

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Toilet Training Tales

My boy learned to pee and poo in the toilet in about a week. However, at first he wanted to pee sitting down on the toilet seat like his sister. "No, no, I told him. You have to do it standing up." so I showed him how to pee in the bathroom because he was too short for the adult toilet (or so I thought) and after he was done, I would spray him and the floor with the shower because he would get some pee on his legs as well.

During the training week, I wore his diaper when we were out ... just in case.... but one day while we were out, he told me that he wanted to pee. His daddy said that I should find a toilet and take him or I would be teaching him the wrong things by telling him to pee in his diapers but now I had a problem. How on earth would I be able to get him off his diapers, then make him pee standing up since I hadn't thought him how to aim his pee? Eventually, we found a toilet and I struggled to take off his diaper and put in on again and he wet his jeans a little. Poor little fella.

Anyway, my problem is resolved now. While I was in the hospital, his daddy thought him how to aim his pee and he learned it in just one day. Lol! Now when he wants to pee, he would stand at the adult toilet and aim. So no more diapers for going out. Things are so much easier now. I've always asked his dad to teach him, since he would learn much better by observing but his dad left the toilet training job to me. Hmmmrph!

He is also dry every night now and I didn't have to train him at all. When I was done toilet training him in a week during the day, he just stayed automatically dry every night and tells me he wants to pee in the morning.

My girl on the other hand has learned to stay dry during nap times but I'm still having problems with the night time training. I have promised her a little dollhouse if she stays dry so lets see if that motivates her to stay dry. I'll post my progress with her later on.

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My Mummy

• My mummy was soft spoken, gentle and beautiful
• My mummy had good taste in music. She listened to beautiful harp and guitar music.
• My mummy was a wonderful cook! Oh those nonya food, cakes and kuihs and sounds and smells of cooking.....
• My mummy was a wonderful tailor. She made many of our clothing with lovely embroidery on them
• My mummy looked after herself well. She would pose in front of the mirrors and look this way and that and spent a lot of time putting creams on her face
• My mummy was brave. It must have been very, very hard to be diagnosed with a terminal illness at the prime of her life and leave behind a husband and five children within a year after that
• My mummy loved us very much. Even in death, she said she wanted to be cremated so that when we visited her grave, we wouldn't have to walk through long grass or "lalangs" and do any weeding, so that we didn't have to get our hands and feet dirty.

This is what I remember of my mummy and all my life, (since I was 10 when she died at age 46), I wish that you were here to guide me along, mummy, even now, I wish you were here, more than ever.

To all those whose mums are still around, please cherish them and cherish being a mother yourself. There is no better "job" in the world then being mother. Happy Mother's Day to everyone. Mother's Day falls on May 13 this year.

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Nightmare!

I had a nightmare a few nights after I came back from hospital. I dreamed that I was in a car with hubby and kids and we were travelling on or taking a curve on a flyover. Hubby was driving rather fast and I tried to tell him to stop or we would go off the flyover or the curve. He continued driving fast and we went off the flyover at great speed.

I could only watch helplessly as our car flew off the flyover straight towards some highrise buildings. I knew I was staring at impending death or serious injury but there was nothing I could do about it. Absolutely nothing. It was frightening.

Strangely, that nightmare must have reflected my greatest fear. I am KIASI! Hahaha. What is your greatest fear?

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Facing a mother's greatest fear

I have written before about my greatest fear as a mother and recently I had to face my fear again. Like before, whats scary about it was it was an ordinary day, just like any other. I had bathed both the kids and left them both to play on the carpet while I got ready to bathe myself. I bent down to put the radio on to listen to and the next thing I knew I woke up on the floor after a seizure with my husband and children starring at me.

I remember waking up twice more, once on the sofa and another time on the bed but thats not exactly what happened according to my husband. According to him, the second time it happened I had called him to come home (he was out at the time) saying that the children had informed me that it (another seizure) had happened again.

The third time it happened (on the same day) my husband called my sisters to come over to help watch the kids and take me to the hospital. I was able to tell my sisters what to pack etc but I don't recall any of it. I don't recall calling my husband, I don't recall speaking to my sisters. I only recall getting into the car to go to hospital and the events following. I remember they gave me an oxygen mask to help me breathe and asking me a lot of questions which I could answer. My memory is gone for events that took place for half a day ie from the afternoon when I wanted to take a bath and only returned at night from the hospital onwards. It feels so strange and scary not to remember.

I had bitten both sides of my tongues to shreds. It was so painful I could hardly eat and talk over the next few days. I was coughing repeatedly as I had caught an infection from swallowing fluids during the seizure and my whole body ached liked I had ran a marathon!

Oh. I had started this post intending to write about my dream/nightmare upon coming home from the hospital but this post has taken a whole different form. I guess its good to write and get this out of the chest. I'll write about my dream/nightmare in another post then.

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