My sister who's daughter is 14 tells me that she is not ready to for her daughter to grow up so fast. "She doesn't talk to me anymore." she says. "Just one or two years ago, she would tell me everything she did at school as soon as she got home. Now she goes straight up to her room and whispers with her brother or heads for the computer or telephone."
"Maybe I'm too strict with her." she says. "Maybe, I'm too protective... but she shouldn't be interested in boys at this age. I have to be strict! Maybe......................."
Hmmmm... I do wonder what my relationship with my daughter will be like in a few years from now. I do hope that she will be able to talk to me about everything, about school, about her feelings and emotions, about her friends, girls as well as boys.
Thats a big wish. Just how do I make that happen? As mothers we are torn in between protecting them and hence we are strict in trying to protect them and that sort of destroys the close relationship we have with our girls. Its really tough being a mother. I would like to be a mother and a friend to my daughter but can that really happen? I do hope that my relationship with my daughter will remain close. I really really hope so.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Mothers and Daughters
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I would love to able to be a mother and a friend to my children. I always dream about it even before I was pregnant with my daughter.
ReplyDeleteBut I know to do achieve is not that easy.
And I guess it's the way parents communicate with their children.
Just have to be open to their ideas and opinions. And shouldn't sound like we, parents are older and more experienced, so we know better than our children, so they should listen, when giving them advices.
Maybe by telling stories(of our younger days, and other interesting ones)and reasoning will help, and try to relate to them and give them space to think and figure out.
Or sometimes even have to repackage our advices to what the children like to hear. And sell it to them.
Seriously I still don't know how will I tackle this issue until I actually come to the point.
Dolphine,
ReplyDeleteI imagine it too like you. Yes its the way we communicate like you say but its really harder to do than to imagine. I think by the time we have to deal with teenage problems like boyfriends, use of internet, phone, going out late etc, we'd probably be nagging and scolding instead of sitting down and chatting like a friend. Lol!
I really treasure the times with my Little Bkworm who is 12 now. We are really close and can talk about anything. But I know there is a possibility that she will grow out of being mummy's girl once she steps into her teen years. I don't want to think about it now.
ReplyDeleteI have a few years until my son turns 14, but my greatest burden is for him to still want to choose what it is right when he reaches that age.
ReplyDeletebkworm,
ReplyDeleteDon't we all wish that our children will stay close to us all their lives.
michael,
Hello and welcome to my blog. Yes its tough isn't it and we have to make sure we lay the correct foundation from the early years. BTW, you have a nice blog. :)