Easy To Love

My son is one little boy who is really easy to love. He is always full of smiles, cheerful, jolly, cuddly, affectionate, caring and  he loves helping around the house. He likes to help both mum and dad whether it is helping in the kitchen, helping to do chores, helping to fix a cupboard or shelf or giving dad a massage. He is dad's little contractor and mum's little helper.

When his sister injured her ankle recently, he was there to help her remove her shoes and socks because it hurt her to do so. He is always telling jokes and making funny remarks too. So much so, that when you see him, you can't help but smile. Even when I am grumpy and moody, one remark or hug from him will instantly make me smile or laugh aloud and turn my mood around.

Thinking about him and how easy it is to love him, makes me realize that I've got a lot to learn from this little boy. Am I easy to love? I think not. I am always angry, frowning, rushing, in a hurry, grumpy, you name it. Sometimes I speak in harsh tones and my frown is always around. I don't smile often enough nor do I speak in a gentle manner to my children or spouse.

My new resolution (who says you can't make a new resolution in Feb/March?) is to make myself more easy to love.

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My Different Names

When they were younger, it was "mummy".

When she wants to appear more mature, she calls me "mom"

When he wants to get his way, he calls me "mama"

Whatever it is, I'm very happy to be their mother.

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A SAHM Needs Self Discipline

I find that one of the most important virtues a SAHM needs is self discipline. Without it, nothing gets done. My self-discipline meter changes from day to day. Some days are really good. Others pass by with me hardly lifting a finger, except maybe my index finger to scroll the PC mouse or touching my touch screen tablet.

Today, is a good day for me. I have managed to do all my laundry and ironing and dishes and even found time to write the next chapter in a new book I am working on.

The other two books I wrote are sold mostly overseas on Amazon, Smashwords and Createspace but I am now one step closer to bringing them nearer home by selling them on MPH Digital. Still working out the details. Now, I am working on the third.

A little while ago, I wrote the first two chapters and then I stalled. For days, I tried to think of a better title for it but it just wouldn't come. Today, I decided that if I don't work on it, it is not going to be completed. So I read it again and decided that I liked the original title after all, so I wrote Chapter 3.

I've still got to cook lunch and do the floors so I had to find a good place to stop writing. My "working hours" for my writing is always in the mornings only. When the kids get back in the afternoon, there is no more time for me. The rest of the day is rather rushed. Helping with homework, cooking dinner, washing up, going to bed early so I can make it through another day.

Today, I have been a good girl, a good SAHM with good self discipline. So, I am happy. :)

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Do Facial Expressions Matter?

My husband tried to teach me tennis many years ago and he kept on giving me a fed up and frustrated look. I felt very much affected by the look and could not play at all. He insists that facial expressions do not matter. He says I must remain objective and not let it affect me. To this day, he says that facial expressions do not matter. I beg to differ.

I think facial expressions matter a lot. Sometimes, they speak volumes. Sometimes, they say much more than words can say. 

With this believe, now as a mom, I believe that I must control my facial expressions when talking with the kids. My girl is always coming to me and asking me "Are you angry with me, mom? Are you happy with me mom? Not angry?"

My children say that I am angry all the time and I frown all the time. What a bad example I am showing to them. Today's mantra is "I must control my facial expressions. I must control my facial expressions."

Oh and regarding my tennis classes? Eventually, my husband paid for a tennis coach to teach me but I still can't play for the life of me. I can only run around picking up the tennis balls. :P

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That Dreaded Call From School

Getting a call from your child's school is a rather unpleasant thing. Why do they only call for something negative?

Anyway, recently I had a call from my children's school. The teacher spoke to me in Mandarin and I almost hung up on her. Oops.

Finally I understood her.

"Are you the mother of ....." She asks. "He fell down during gym and injured his leg. Now he cannot walk. Can you come and take him home now to see the doctor? I am sorry."

Of course I went into a panic mode. I forgot to ask her for any details and said. "Yes, of course I will come now." In my mind's eye, I saw a little boy with a sprained ankle and a cast. My heart went "beep bop beep bop"

When I got to the school, I saw a little boy sitting in the sick bay ... with a grazed knee.

It was just a grazed knee and he didn't need the doctor. Thank goodness. Still, I was glad the teacher called. It shows that the system is in place and the teacher knows what to do and how to reach me in case of an emergency.

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Children Helping Out With Chores At Home

Now that the kids are older, I can get them to help with household chores. It is too bad they have so much homework from school. Otherwise, I will get them to do more because at this age (9 and 11) they still love to help.

Helping at home starts from the time they are very young. They can help by picking up their own toys. Now that they are older they help with folding clothes, hanging clothes, washing fruits and vegetables, cleaning up their own tables (they each have their own small hand held broom and pan to sweep off eraser droppings and pencil shavings from the table), throwing the litter and many other small chores around the house.

Sometimes I give them the mop and say "Here you can mop anywhere you want?" Then they would stare at me incredulously and say "Anywhere?" surprised that I would trust them with such a big task. "Yes, anywhere." then I go and do something else and leave them to it. If it is the first time they are doing something, I will give them instructions or show them how to do it and then I would leave them to do it.

I find this a much better way then hanging around telling them what to do and how to do it the right way and how they are doing it wrong etc. When you get children to help at home, you have to do just that. Trust them. They may not do it the way you want it done so walking away is the best. They build confidence when you are not there hovering around telling them how to do it the right way.

It was not always this way. Now, I have learned to close one eye. Previously, I would get so upset about how much more mess was being created sometimes when they are helping. For example, when I am sick and the dad and boy decides to make the juices, the whole kitchen floor would be wet afterwards but now I've learned not to look at the wet floor and just enjoy my juice. In this way, it helps them and it helps me too and soon I find that it really helps to have them helping me. More chores gets done when I walk away and do something else.

Learning to close one eye also makes sure I don't redo their work which defeats the purpose of having them help in the first place. Finally, at long last, I have learned the art of having children helping out with chores at home.

I will teach them more chores as they grow up. Helpful children are not born. They are taught.

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BFF Day 2013

BFF Day 2013 is on June 8.

BFF is short for Best Friends Forever. My girl is very much into that now. She eagerly brings her autograph book for all her friends to sign in them. They draw cute pictures in colored pens and write sweet notes to each other. She often shows me her autograph book proudly. She may be only 11 but you never know, some of these friends she makes may turn out to be a BFF, a Best Friend Forever.

I find that most BFFs are made in schools rather than at the workplace. When I see my sisters' BFFs and my own, they are mostly friendships we made when we were in school. Somehow work mates just drift out of your life the moment you step out of the office but friends in school sometimes remain friends for life.

Since BFF Days is on June 8, I would like to dedicate this post to my BFF of 30 years. It took me just one year in school to find a friend for life. That is something really amazing. She brought into my life giggles, laughter, lots of sharing, home made cakes and friendship at a time when I was feeling really down and lonely, when my immediate family was not around me.

Thank you, dear. To my BFF. I know someone made you mad today. I hope this post brings you cheer. We've been friends so long, I can't even remember how our school uniform looks like anymore. I think the collar is supposed to be squarish not v shaped but I'm too lazy to change the drawing. :P

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Women Quarreling In Forums

Before blogs, Facebook and Twitter came along, there were forums. Forums are still around but many people now use Facebook and Facebook groups like their own personal forum.

Being one who in real life prefer to listen rather than talk, I also "listened" in forums. Wow! I was surprised at what I "heard".

Forums and other new social media now can turn to be pretty ugly places at times. I didn't know that one can actually argue and quarrel without meeting. I watched friendships form and disintegrate. The online world is just like the real world sometimes.

I try to stick away from negativity though I must admit that once, just once in my almost 10 years of blogging, I got heated up with a commenter and I had an online argument back and forth in my comments page for the world to see. It is most unbecoming. In fact, negativity of any form makes you ugly. See how ugly those women in my cartoon are? Well, those engaging in gossiping, nagging, complaining, arguing, quarreling usually look ugly when they do it. What do you think?

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To Do List

I'm On A To Do Strike. Overwhelmed = Too Many ToDos Make Me Feel Like Not Doing Anything At All. 

I've been feeling this way for some time now. I know the only cure is to do things as they come, to not procrastinate. Procrastinating leads to too many ToDos and when you have a lot of ToDos, procrastinating can pile things up pretty fast. Then in no time at all, you feel overwhelmed. 

What do you do when you feel overwhelmed? For me, I tune off and then as if rebelling, I stop doing the very things I am supposed to do. I am feeling that way now.......

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I Wish I Was A Supermom

The boy vomits in his sleep. Supermom with her super ears hears the gurgling that signals vomiting and gets up automatically to push him to a sitting position. Nothing comes out, only bile since he has emptied his stomach from all the vomiting he did earlier on in the day. He gets up periodically, every half to one hour 4 to 5 times to vomit more bile and Supermom gets up too. The next day Supermom has to wash vomit soaked pyjamas.

The young daughter is having her period. She leaves behind period soaked clothing for Supermom to wash too. The bile soaked pyjamas and period soaked clothing leaves behind an interesting yellow and red colour in the blue and pink pails, thinks sleepy Supermom.

Its her 12th day wedding anniversary and Superdad, that smart fellow says "Happy Anniversary, dear" and goes off to work. No present or anything else for Supermom because the smart fellow said the necklace he gave Supermom on their 10th wedding anniversary (which Supermom reminded him was a significant year to celebrate) was supposed to last several years. So no present last year and none this year for Supermom. Supermom doesn't get Superdad anything either and  he reminded her that she didn't get anything for his birthday this year too. 

For her wedding anniversary dinner, Supermom cooks porridge for the whole family. In fact, the whole family has been dining on this fine cuisine, plain white porridge cooked up by Supermom for the past 4 meals in a row since the boy is sick and Superdad has a stomach virus. Hopefully this porridge diet will take a few pounds off Supermom, she thinks. 

Oh, yes, there is one more thing that Supermom thinks......

Somedays I wish that being a supermom was as simple as donning a superhero costume. 

Yes, I wish that right now. 

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Love And Memories

My mom passed away almost 40 years ago. I was still very young then. However, some memories of her remain fresh in my mind. Of course our black and white photos of her carrying me in her arms and looking at me with love helps too.

My Quote For The Day is Love Leaves Trails Of Memories. (I love Quotes and I love making them up in the spur of a moment or when inspired by my own drawings or other things. If you like Quotes too, check out my other blog just for Quotes. It is called Quotes Station).

Love Leaves Trails of Good Memories, yes.... but don't forget that Bad Feelings Leaves Trails Of Memories too.

As a mother and wife, I think I should always stop myself and ask "Will this leave a good or bad memory?" before I act or speak rashly. That guiding principal can't go very wrong. Have you left any trails today? Were they good or bad?

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Life Is Sweet

My husband says I always complain. My kids say I am always either frowning or angry. My girl constantly asks me "Are you happy with me mom? Not angry?"

I of all people should really learn that "Life Is Sweet, Savour It:", a quote I came up with on a whim. Besides the tasting of food, one other definition of "savour" is "to derive or receive pleasure from; to get enjoyment from; to take pleasure in".

Do you take pleasure and try to get enjoyment from life or are you like me, frowning all the time while you rush through life?

I know one thing that I derive pleasure in a lot. It is my writings and my drawings, which is my newly discovered old love. Both of these makes me happy. What makes you happy?

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Beauty Comes From Within

My little girl is turning 11 soon. I can't believe how fast time has flown.

She is smart, an intellectual kid who is very inquisitive.

I know she admires some of her classmates especially those who are more loud and aggressive, more pretty or more this or that. She wants to be like them too. She wants to keep her hair like them. She wants to this or that .... like them.

I think as a mother to a daughter, one very important life lesson to teach her is to let her know that beauty comes from within.

This year on her birthday I will remind her that she is special and she does not have to be like anyone to be special. She just has to be herself.

Confidence is beautiful. It makes you glow.

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Mother's Day My Way

Image Credit: Myself. (The best way to get original work is to draw them yourself or to take your own photos.) This drawing is of me and my mom wringing out our towel by hand. Read on to find out why.

The other day as I was washing the dishes, I looked at the window in front of me and saw a reflection of a 40 plus lady in a modern kitchen with all the conveniences and facilities that we have today. I thought to myself, "mom, if only you were here today, you would be so delighted" and I thought "I shouldn't be complaining about all the housework I have to do, not with these facilities that mom never had."

You see, my mother passed away when I was 10 years old. Cancer took away my mom. We didn't have any of the modern day conveniences we now have. Dishes were always done on the floor with a bucket of water. Mom would clean them while I rinse in another bucket of clean water. It was the same with our laundry. They were done in buckets of water on the floor. We would first rinse in one bucket, then another. Towels and bedsheets had to be squeezed dry with mom turning on one end and me on the other. Mom would be delighted with the washing machine we now have and the double sink. We don't have a dishwasher but a double sink is so much more when you have to wash your dishes in a bucket on the floor.

I am a mother now myself. I have a loving boy who just turned 9 and an inquisitive girl aged 11. Having grown up without a mother, I realize that the best Mother's Day gift is not something money can buy. The best Mother's Day gift is love and memories. Love from my children and for them to express their love to me in the form of hugs, kisses and being good kids now and good people in adulthood.

My love language is touch so naturally for Mother's Day, I would like to receive lots of hugs and kisses from the children from the moment I wake up till before I fall asleep at night. Hugs and Kisses, Love and Memories, they are all free. I would like to have them as much as I can. That is Mother's Day My Way.

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Part Time Maid

I have two maids now. A daily one which does the daily laundry, washing, ironing, cooking, washing, that kind of thing. The other maid comes in twice a week for four hours each time. On one of the days, she will clean everything upstairs, cleaning up all the upstairs rooms, toilets, fans, aircon filters, mop the floor, wipe everything table tops etc. The other day is for downstairs doing much the same as upstairs.

Actually both maids are me. I've decided that its better to really focus on doing housework for 4 sometimes 5 hours a day but only for twice a week so I won't feel overwhelmed by it and so that I will have some "free time". Of course, there is never ever real "free time". That's where the other "maid" comes in for the daily stuff.

I've found that every since the real maid left, I've been so swamped by housework that it has left me no more inspiration to write. I used to love waking up each day and really being excited and looking forward to writing. I even managed to a book of poems and a breastfeeding help book. Housework killed that. Hopefully, my twice a week plan works out, so that I can have some focus again. I didn't realize it but when I write, I need to focus too. I need concentration and the more I write, the more I have to write about. Housework killed that focus.

I'm slowly trying to get back into my writing mode. I've been out of active action since July last year when I got chicken pox and my maid went back for a holiday. She came back for two months but then the year end holidays arrived and I was busy with the kids. In addition, in October the maid left abruptly which left me swarmed with chores. It's almost half a year now. I should be settled down by now.

I still have this freeze in my mind where my words use to flow freely. I need to be motivated and inspired again. During my absence (from writing) I've missed out some fun quests at Squidoo too. I managed to put in one recently for the Imminent Picture Perfect Reel Challenge. We were supposed to take our own pictures and write a lens (a page on Squidoo is called a lens) using those pictures. My lens was one of the 15 to win a raffle ticket this week. Can you spot which one it is from here? Ok, ok, I'll save you the trouble. It is this lens on Choosing Cross Stitch Patterns. The cross stitch pictures on the lens are all my own. This is the second lens I wrote after a long time. I'm happy its still good enough to be featured. The first lens I wrote after getting back into action is this one: What To Look For When Buying A Juicer. I used to be able to write a lens a day but now...

I need to get back into my blogging mode too. So far, I've managed some posts. Hope I can keep it up.

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Moms, Give Yourselves A Pat On The Back

I know many moms who suffer from guilt trips. Instead of patting themselves on their backs for doing a good job, they always worry about what they are NOT doing for their children. 

• If you are a full time working mom, give yourself a pat on the back for contributing to the finances of the family instead of kicking yourself over not spending enough time with your children
• If you are a stay at home mom, give yourself a pat on the back for being able to spend time taking care of your household and your children instead of fretting over how you are not contributing to the family expenses
• If you are a single mum who has to do everything for your kids, give yourself three pats on the back for being able to do the best that you can under challenging circumstances
• If you are a working mum who comes back and do the housework and still find time to help with your child's homework, give yourself three pats on the back for being a super mom instead of stressing out over how little time you have for yourself and your partner
• If you are a housewife who does not do very much housework but prefers to spend more time educating your kids, give yourself a pat on the back instead of thinking about how you should spend more time looking after the house since you are not working

So, go on now, give yourself a pat on the back. I shall give myself a pat on my back too even though I do not contribute to the family expenses and sometimes I lose it and I yell at the kids at the top of my voice from seeing them 24/7, even though my house is somewhat neglected although I am 'not working", I shall give myself a pat on my back and so shall you!

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The Burden Of Responsibility Of A Mum And A Housewife

I was not feeling well for the past week. To make matters worse, my full time helper at home went back to her hometown for a holiday for a month. To make it even worse, the boy was not able to attend school for about a week due to some virus which gave him vomiting and diarrhea. To add to the troubles, his sister had chicken pox and had to stay home for a week too. The spouse had lots of important meetings during this time so he was not able to help out very much. The kids have piles of homework to catch up on.

However, with the kids sick, there was no way they could eat takeaway food from outside. So, even though I felt feverish, nausea and ill, I had to drag myself out of bed to prepare food and clean up, make sure the toilets were clean enough not to make anyone else more sick then they already were and take care of other basic hygiene. That is the burden of responsibility.

Meals have to be taken care of or there will be nothing to eat. Clothes need to be laundered and ironed or there will be nothing to wear and basic hygiene and cleanliness must be met in the house and by its occupants and it is mum's burden of responsibility that the tiny people of the house understand this. Kids are back in school and there are tons of homework to catch up on, little uniforms to wash and press, homework help required.

Right at the time when I need it most to recover faster, I can't sleep just thinking about all there is that needs to be done. That is the burden of responsibility. Dad may talk about the financial burden but this certainly isn't any easier. Thankfully, I have a helper to assist me most of the time. I hope she comes back.

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Online Mothers

I am an Online Mother. What does it mean to be an online mother? Being an online mother means ...

1. 1. I have to prioritize my time between online and family
2. 2. I sometimes feel guilty if I spend too much time online
3. 3. I have loads of other online mother friends whom I can turn to when I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen to when I vent
4. 4. I look forward to each day full of exciting online activities and online interaction
5. 5. I get a lot of support from other online mothers. I feel comforted to know I am not alone.
6. 6. I give support to other online mothers.
7. 7. I learn a lot from sharing with other online mothers.
8. 8. I get many new ideas about parenting, kids activities, crafts, recipes, education and books and apps for kids etc from other online mothers.
9. 9. I laugh, cry and bond with other online mothers whom I have never met and whom I may never meet.
10. 10. I have a head full of online thoughts as I go through my day.

I am an Online Mother. Are you an Online Mom too? Say YES! if you are. 

The biggest challenge an online mother faces is ...

How Not To Let The Computer Take Over Your Family Life. 

More and more mothers are going online. Is online time taking over your family time? This is how I manage my online time with my personal or family time. How do you manage yours. Care to share?

• - Morning for myself and my online activities, afternoon for my kids to help them with homework etc, evening and night is for the man 
• - No online activities on weekends and public holidays and whenever the man is on leave from work
• - Use the old fashion paper and pen to write down ideas and articles and transfer them online when I finally do get to a PC. I don't have to be in f ront of a PC all the time.
• - Never stress over not being able to get online for days or weeks or months. The online world will still be the same when you return.
• - Take days off from online activities every now and then.

Photo Credit

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Is SAHM A Lonely Job?

Friends... we all need them

I've never really thought of being a SAHM as a lonely job before. After all, I feel perfectly content. I have my online friends, I am pretty active online with 5 blogs to maintain and a growing list of Squidoo lenses. I have written and published two books on my own. I am pretty busy.

The kids are gone in the morning and when they are home, the house is always a flurry of activity. When the spouse comes home in the evening, mummy is in greater demand than ever. Sometimes, I can't even hear myself as the three of them will be talking to me at the same time and demanding my attention all at once.

I didn't have time to be lonely, or so I thought. However, recently some events made me rethink this.

My domestic helper may be returning to her home country for good. Why, just the thought of this made me cry buckets. I cried till my eyes were all swollen. Why? My helper has been with us for 4 years. In that time, she has not only become a helper in my household chores, she has become a companion and a friend.

Just thinking of how lonely it would be not having someone to laugh with and talk to about the kids and other things makes me realize that sometimes being a SAHM can be quite a lonely job.

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Gift Book for Mothers on Mother's Day

Mother's Day is just round the corner. It is good time to now to hunt for gifts for mothers. Here is a little book I wrote. I think it is useful for new mothers to get an insight into motherhood and the joys and frustrations it sometimes brings. Though highly rewarding, motherhood is sometimes filled with turmoil and self doubt. Sometimes we even lose ourselves in the process.

I wrote the poems in this book over 8 years from the time my babies were little. They are now 8 and 10. In it you will find my struggle to find myself after becoming a mother and a wife. I'm still a new mother, still with much to learn. Inside this book, you will find lots of pictures of crafts I have done with my children plus my poems and thoughts organized into small chapters. Here is a quick peek at some of them.

You will find ....

1. Oh! What A Joy It is To Be A Mother 
2. Becoming a Mother Changes You 
3. Bad Mommy Days 
4. It’s Just Another Day 
5. Time Waits For No Mom 
6. Mothers And Daughters 
7. Finding The Right Balance 
8. We Are First Wives Before We Became Mothers 
9. Love Is….. 
10. And Baby Makes Three 
11. Me, I, Myself 
12. Me Time 
13. Mothers Are Strong 
14. One Day At A Time 
15. I Am Myself! 

and more. They are written in the form of poems and quick quotes and organized in an easy way for busy moms to read and digest. You can purchase this for yourself or as a gift for a friend.

The book is available as paperback -

• Buy from CreateSpace. 
• Purchase from Amazon

Or as an eBook -

• Kindle Edition from Amazon Kindle Store

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