Merry Christmas from Mothering Times

I always feel that this blog needs more colour and life. Maybe this e-card will do it. Hmmm... of all my blogs, this blog has the best fit for the e-card, so I put in my favourite here. Hope you like it too.

Merry Christmas everyone!

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They don't need me to help them sleep anymore

The babies they grow up so fast. They don't need me to help them fall asleep anymore though we still co-sleep. I have never believed in allowing my babies to cry themselves to sleep, just so they could learn to be independant of me and sleep in another room so that I can catch up with a few more hours of sleep at the time. I believe that they will outgrow their need for me and sooner rather than later, I will have my sleep back.

How quickly the time has passed. I remember we used to walk the babies up and down the room, sing softly to them or play music while rocking them to sleep. And no, they don't become super dependant and still need me to rock, pat or sing them to sleep. They've outgrown it. Time flies. Time really does.

They don't need me to sing, pat, rock and walk them to sleep them anymore but oh how I treasure those moments when I did, even though at the time I had very little sleep because of it. I believe my husband treasures those moments too. He always speaks of those early days with fondness. He did his fair share of walking up and down with the babies and believe it or not, the memory of it creates a sort of special bond for him and the child.

Theres this site that we loved. I remember when I had to work (or play) at the pc, I would put on the music and sing to the lyrics for my babies to fall asleep and when they fall into a deep slumber, I would lay them down and continue working on the pc. :) What lovely memories these are. Just listening to some of the music brings me back to those moments.

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Calling all Mommy Bloggers With Boys

Hey there fellow Mommy Bloggers, especially those with boys. Want to win a RM88 cash voucher to Clad Your Lad in Style? Why not visit the link to find out more about the contest for bloggers?

The voucher is for a clothing line that is exclusive to boys aged 1 to 14. So if you have sons that age, or nephews, or friends with sons that age. Go check the contest out. The contest ends 20th December 2008.

So you can use your winnings to get a year end Christmas present or if you miss that you can get something for Chinese New Year instead.

Hope you give it a try or help to spread the word around. Good Luck!

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Its easier now that the kids are 4 & 6

My kids are 4 and 6 and its so much easier now. I remember when they were newborns, babies then toddlers. Life was much harder then! Especially life with a newborn AND a toddler without any help. I had to prioritise. My priorities back then were.....

1. Babies
2. Housework
3. Cooking (accept for my babies)

I gave priority to my babies first. Looking after my babies always came first. They were what mattered the most. I had a very hard time breastfeeding my babies. So that took up a lot of my time. Life seemed to go by in a frenzy of feeding after feeding after feeding. Everytime I finished pumping, storing, trying to breastfeed unsuccessfully, cup feeding, sterilizing, then it was time for another feed! It was crazy but we did it in the end. We managed to breastfeed successfully after the first 2 months of frenzied feeding and went on to breastfeed for 1 1/2 years for the first and 3 years for the second baby.

Housework came second and cooking third accept cooking for my babies because I wanted them to eat fresh nutritious foods cooked by me not foods that came out of a jar. Afterall, we try to avoid canned food for its less than nutritious value. So why should our babies eat jar food? So I made them myself and that was very time consumming.

However, I had no time to cook for the adults ie my husband and myself. Each evening after work, my husband would drive to the economy rice shop near my house and tapau or pack home 3 packets of rice with dishes. 2 packets were for our dinner. I kept 1 packet in the fridge to be reheated in the microwave the next day for my lunch.

It was a pretty unhealthy way to eat, especially at a time when I was recovering from birth and was supposed to be looking after myself better but I had no choice. I couldn't cope with everything so I had to cut corners and that was one of the ways.

As for housework, I always felt that it was not very important. As long as we did a quick wipe and don't let it get too dirty for hygiene purposes, I didn't have to have a house with shiny floors and shelves. I had a motto. "A place for everything and everything in its place." I kept to that and at least we didn't have the clutter that would drive one mad.

I'm writing this because I feel overwhelmed again with so much things to be done. But before I go and rant and complain, I should look back to how much harder it was back then. Now, the kids are older and eat the same foods as we do so I don't have to cook special foods for them anymore. I even have a live in house helper now so I don't have to do much housework accept supervise and help out a bit here and there and whenever I cook, I have someone to prepare before and clean up afterwards for me. Yes, I should be thankful instead of complain about how overwhelmed I am with my todo list. :)

Now, I even have time to read a book or a magazine in between rushing. And sometimes I have time to dress up when we go out. I can even wear heels again. Haha. It was impossible to wear heels when you are carrying a baby and chasing a toddler at the same time. It was foolhardy. But now I can wear heels again, frivolous though this may sound, its just another thing or part of me that I have managed to reclaim after the babies came along and I became lost in babyworld.

And for all new moms who happen to be passing by and reading this. Remember to treasure the early days even though it may be hard. They grow up so fast and soon you will have more time to yourself again. :)

Related posts:

Life with a newborn and a toddler
Life with a 3 year old and a 5 year old

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Her first Scaling Experience at the Dentist

We took the kids to see the dentist on the first day of the school holidays. What a way to start the holidays. Anyway, so far, the kids are ok with the dentist. They like to collect the stickers she gives! *Rolls eyes*

The girl was not afraid. She sat down on the chair. Then the dentist took a picture of her teeth to show her and us that she had quite a lot of calculus. "Its very young to have calculus", said the dentist.

"See this special thing?" said the dentist to my girl. "It can suck water". "I'm going to give your teeth a nice shower now." she continued after the scaling with a soft brush. I like it that the dentist is very good with kids. I think its because she has a daughter too, just one year older than my girl.

She says that my girl has very crooked teeth and she's worried about the placing of some of them as it can distort the jaw if left unchecked but she said we'll monitor it for now.

She told us to bring the girl every 6 months to get her used to going to a dentist. "Its very important" she says. "This way, they will grow up unafraid and treat a visit to the dentist just like a visit to the hairdressers for a haircut."

She just had a peer into my boy's mouth. The boy was allowed to watch the scaling too to get him used to being in a dentist room.

Then it was my turn. And after we were all done, the kids requested for stickers and she gave them two each. And that was how her first scaling experience went.

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Head Lice

About 6 or 7 girls in my daughter's class in kindy are having head lice. Head lice spreads easily and is difficult to get rid of. Fortunately my daughter does not have it and I am trying to prevent it. Everyday when she gets home, I check her hair and I try to wash it daily. Combing out the hair with a fine tooth comb when it is wet helps too. The teachers also regularly check the kids' hair to make sure that it does not continue spreading.

Here are some good links on head lice and how to manage it.

Headlice.org

Kidshealth.org

And here's a video on how to remove head lice.

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Another tooth out

About 2 weeks ago, another one of my girl's bottom teeth was loose. It had become very lose during her kindy concert but she was ok with it. We shook it and I asked her "When do you think this one will fall out?"

She usually can predict it by telling me "I think this will fall out tomorrow night" etc. lol. Later that day while she was having her bath, I noticed that the tooth was missing. Worried that she may have accidentally swallowed it, I asked her what had happened to her tooth.

She then told me "Oh, it must have been that dirty thing, I kicked into the drain. I thought there was something dirty on the floor so I kicked it into the drain. It must have been my tooth." Hahaha.

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The Guilt of a Mother

I feel guilty when..........

• they don't eat enough
• they eat too much
• they eat too much junk food
• they don't get enough sleep
• I leave them alone to play
• they don't know how to play alone
• I don't spend enough time with them
• I don't buy them the things they like
• I buy them too many toys
• they watch too much tv

I can't think of anymore right now but all I know is that the list is endless. As mothers we try to do our best for our kids and quite often our standards of expectations for ourselves are rather high.

I know that most mothers feel some degree of guilt over one thing or another. What do you feel guilty about? Care to share?

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More Permanent Teeth replacing Milk Teeth

About 2 weeks ago, another one of my girl's front teeth dropped out. She is six.

So far, she has had 3 lower front teeth fall out. One more lower front teeth is lose. They have been replaced by 4 lower front permanent teeth. All of her new permanent teeth came out BEFORE the old milk teeth drops out. She also has two new permanent molars at the back.

Now with the latest dropout (if I may call it that), she has lost the top two front teeth. I can now see the two new permanent teeth sprouting. Unlike her bottom row of teeth, the top permanent teeth is sprouting AFTER the old milk teeth dropped off.

So far in all, she has lost 5 milk teeth and gained 8 permanent teeth, some of which are still growing slowly. :)

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Bedtime Routines

Before I became a mum I had no bedtime routine. I went to bed whenever I felt sleepy.

After I became a mum, I couldn't go to bed whenever I want, not even when I am sleepy!

I guess I became a mum the moment I became pregnant. Sleep was evasive then. I had bad morning sickness that lasted all day and all night. In the later stages of pregnancy, I had to get up several times a night to visit the toilet. It was also difficult to turn and lying in the same side position was tiring.

After the baby came along, I lost the concept of day and night. The days went by in a blur of feeds, milk expression and more feeds. There was no proper sleep routine as I had to feed baby every 2-3 hours.

It was only after the baby hit toddlerhood that some semblance of bedtime routines returned.

The kids are 4 and 6 now and our bedtime routine goes something like this....

• Milk & Supper
• Brush Teeth, Pee, Wash Up
• Change to pyjamas
• Get the beds ready and comfy
• Storytime or Chat time
• Lights off

The entire process takes about an hour. Sometimes I wish, I could just jump straight into bed without going through an entire hour getting everyone ready for bed. Oh and I mustn't forget the daddy too must I? Usually I make a hot drink for him and then give him a foot massage while he winds down by watching a show. That is if I still have the energy left over for him after the one hour getting the kids ready for bed. Poor daddy. Poor mommy.

How long is your bedtime routine mommies and daddies?

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Schedule for Milk Teeth to be replaced by permanent teeth

Over the weekend my 6 year old girl lost two more milk teeth. One top front teeth and another lower front teeth. (Her two lower front milk teeth has already been replaced by permanent teeth earlier. The new lower front permanent teeth had come in behind the milk teeth and it took some time before the milk teeth dropped off.)

Now the same thing is happening to the lower front teeth that is beside the new permanent teeth. New permanent teeth has come up behind the milk teeth. Now, one of the milk teeth has dropped off. I am waiting for the other to drop off soon as it is lose now.

As for the top front tooth, it came off not at the root but got sort of broken off so there are still small parts that will eventually drop off. The new permanent teeth has not grown in behind the milk teeth unlike the lower teeth so I suppose those will come in later. The other top front teeth is getting lose now too so I expect it to drop off anytime.

For the record, she's got 6 permanent teeth now. 2 lower molars, 2 fully grown lower front teeth and 2 more growing lower front teeth next to the fully grown permanent ones. She has lost 4 milk teeth in all. 3 lower front teeth and 1 upper front tooth.

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An Internet Radio Station for New Parents

The other day I was reading a story to my little girl. The story was about computers and how useful it is to people. As I was reading the story, I was explaining to her about how we use our own computer at home.

We use it to store our photos, we use it as a dictionary or reference, we use it to watch short video clips of news or cartoons, we use to play games. Why, we even use it to tell the time! Lol! We use it to listen to the radio too and of course I must not forget blogs. We use it to blog and read blogs. We use it for networking too judging from the number of social networking sites recently.

Since this blog is for mothers, new and old, I'd like to highlight to you a radio site for New Parents. A Station you can listen to for Baby Information, it is called My Baby Radio.Com Its an Internet radio station for new parents. Imagine that. A Radio Station dedicated to all things baby. How lovely.

It has competitions, blogs, podcasts, online chats etc. You can listen to interviews with celebrity parents, parenting experts and real mums and dads. Fellow bloggers can post comments on the site as well. The Site is updated daily while the radio station is updated on a weekly basis.

Blogger mommies and daddies can submit your sites for inclusion in the Parenting Blogs Directory on the site.

Happy Listening or perhaps Happy Participating would be the more correct word to use. :)

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Stop to smell the .......... babies

I am sure that everyone has heard of the saying "Stop to smell the flowers."

In the same sentiment, I would say "Stop to smell the babies." Babies are the softest, sweetest smelling beings in the world. Their cheeks and little hands and feet are soft to the touch. Much better than silk. They are so sweet smelling, much better than any perfume in the world. So stop to smell the babies.

Many parents are working harder and harder to strive to get a better life for their families in the future but I hope that they remember to stop to smell the babies because before you know it the babies will no longer be babies and you will have missed the moment. I have seen many parents take on jobs that take them away from their babies and little ones in their pursuit for a better life for their little ones. I hope that they have not forgotten to smell the babies and miss the moment.

In striving to give our children better lives, we must not forget to enjoy them for what the are NOW. If we want to have better communication with our teens, we must start communicating and establish a bond with them NOW when they are babies. Don't forget to live for the moment while trying to build a better future.

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Do women make better caregivers?

I attended a health talk on nutrition for alzeihmer's patients during the weekend together with my sisters. 80% of those who attended the talk were women.

Even in my own family, me and my sisters are the main caregivers for our dad who has dementia. The brothers do their part by taking dad out once in a while but its not the same. We have come to the conclusion that women are better caregivers.

Women care for their children, their spouses and their parents better than men. Of course there are exeptions to this, exceptional men who look after their parents, spouses and children really well. I saw a man at a hospital gently leading his mum to the ladies washroom once. He then asked another lady to help out when they reached the toilet because he couldn't go in the ladies. I was touched by the scene.

There are exceptions but I think its fair to say that most men leave the taking dad or mum to the doctor part to the wife or sister. In fact, most men, would even leave the taking care of food and health part to their wives. They do not take responsibilities for their own health.

As a result, when you compare older men and women, older women are more likely to be able to look after themselves. We compared our parents and parents in laws and found that the single older women fared better. They cooked and looked after themselves single handedly when they are older whereas the single older men are more lost. They tend to rely on the children to look after them more.

What do you think? Do women make better caregivers? Is it that way in your family?

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Still Co-Sleeping

My kids are 6 and 4 and we're still co-sleeping. To ensure I still have a good nights sleep, I sleep on the floor so that they won't kick me left, right and center. Its amazing how they both turn around 360 degrees on the bed each night.

I think co-sleeping is something that I will be doing till the kids start asking for their own rooms. Its just the best bonding time for us.

Bedtime is the time where secrets get revealed and little fears get revealed. At no other time, accept bedtime, I will suddenly hear revelations and confessions like .....

"Mummy, the other day I did something naughty in school" (from the 6 year old)

"Mummy, will the teachers laugh at me if I carry a different bag (from the school given one) to school?" (from the 4 year old)

Its the best time for hugs and laughters as we all wind down for the day. After the lights are turned off, sometimes we continue chatting and its amazing, the things I hear from them. I guess, like adults, the kids do their thinking just before sleeping and sometimes they share their thoughts with me. The room would be all dark and quiet and all of a sudden I would hear a little voice talk about his/her fears or confessing to me that they had been naughty. Its the best time to give a pep talk or give a hug of comfort to keep away those fears.

We definitely share some best bonding moments ever during bedtime. Right from the time when they were young and breastfeeding till now that they are old enough to chat and share their thoughts with me. :)

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A busy time for mother

A busy time for this mother that is. Lol!

A mother's role is always very challenging and dynamic. It is never static. I grow as a mother along with my kids and my role changes with my growing kids.

From now till the end of the year, I shall be very busy supporting my kids in various activities. I better list them down here to help me focus!

• Prepare my boy to enter kindy next year
• Help my girl build her confidence for her emcee role at her year end concert
• Prepare my girl and myself for her to start Year 1 in Chinese School next year
• Prepare my girl and myself to perform a piano piece together at a music school concert
• Train both the girl and boy to be more independant

Hmm..... only 5 items. Doesn't seem like a lot but its going to take a lot out of me!

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Flu, Cold or Bronchitis?

My poor little boy has been having fever for a week. He is also having a stuffy nose and a cough with phelgm. Poor thing. His appetite is no good and he has lost some weight. His fever just won't break. We've been to the paed twice and he is on antibiotics now.

We're not sure whether he's got a Cold, the Flu or Bronchitis? Here is an informative article on Bronchitis. Whatever it is thats ailing him, I hope he recovers soon. I feel so sad to see him so moody, with no appetite and losing weight. :(

His sister has got the coughs too. Some nights she would cough till she vomits. Her cough is quite chronic. She would cough till she vomits usually at night. We've seen the paed too and the paed says that if it persists she may need to give her some meds that contains some steroids because she is afraid that it may develop into athsma.

Oh my poor babies. I hope they recover soon.

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Why did you choose Chinese School/Kebangsaan School?

Ok. Ok. I'm beggining to sound like a broken record that keeps harping on the same subject but I just cannot make up my mind!

Anyway, I'm not going to write about this anymore. I hope to hear from you instead.

For those of you with kids entering Primary School and you HAVE MADE UP YOUR MIND about which school to send them. (Unlike me). Why did you choose Chinese School/Kebangsaan School?

For those of you whose kids are currently attending Chinese School/Kebangsaan School, Why did you choose Chinese School/Kebangsaan School? Do you have any regrets or are you happy with your choice?

Hope to hear your views. Don't be shy to leave long comments. Me and probably many others too want to hear from you. Thanks.

Since this topic is rather important to me, I am duplicating this post on my other blogs as some who read my other blogs don't read this one vice versa.

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Are you obsessed with your weight?

Are you obsessed with your weight? I'm afraid I am, well, just a little bit. I'm not obsessed with it but I do step on the scales rather frequently. Does daily count as non-obsession? Lol! Well, aren't most women concerned about their weight? Its always, "I'm too fat!" "I'm too skinny!" Have you ever heard of anyone saying "I'm just right!" I haven't.

On the matter of weights? Why won't my weight come down? I step on the scales daily and it shows me the same figure most days. It can come up easily like if I throw away all caution to the wind and pig out on that piece of cake but no matter how hard I try to exercise or control my food intake, the scales stare at me stubbornly at the same place most days. Aaarrrgh! Maybe I need to buy new scales. There must be something wrong with this one!

Well, I have managed to lose about 20lbs before over 6 months but it takes a lot of hard work and self control. I don't think its perfect for health either as sometimes I can hear my stomach growling. Still 6 months of controlled food intake and careful exercise is not so bad compared to the fad diets.

However, I've now sort of reached a plateau and I think the only way I can go down again is to go back to my tough self control regime for a while. Oh its hard! Well, I'm going to go contemplate now while I cook lunch. ;)

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No time to blog

I have a new maid to help me with my housework but I have less time now. Isn't that crazy? Haha. Well, its only initially, I hope, as I get her accustomed to my house and how I like to do things around the house. I'm working on getting my house clean again. I'm trying to raise my standard of cleanliness. It has been so low for so long.

This morning, I climbed and cleaned all the fans in the house with the maid helping me to clean and change the wiping cloths along the way. It helps so much not to have to climb up and down and clean the cloths at the same time. Things get done so much faster this way. If not for her help, I probably wouldn't clean the fans till next Chinese New Year!

Why didn't I just ask her to wipe it on her own? Well, first, I wanted to show her how I like it wiped (the best way to teach someone is to show them how its done) and second, things really get done much faster this way and we can move along to other things. Crazy?

I'm afraid that when I had to do it on my own, I reduced my standard of cleanliness just so I wouldn't be overwhelmed by all the work. :P So now, I'm raising the bar again. But that leaves me with very little time to blog. I've not had the chance to blog hop for a while now. :(

Each time I open up my bloglines blogreader, I'm overwhelmed by the number of unread blog posts. It says 688 unread posts at the moment. I think I'm going to have to click "mark read" for all but thats hard to do. So, just give me a little time, and I will be back reading your blogs again. Now, I'm going to go and click "mark read" so I won't be overwhelmed by all the unread blogs. Lol!

Another thing, I get this "Wuah, you're not working and you have a maid to help you, you're really a tai tai now." Yah sure, I still have to manage my time very well and hopefully with better time management and planning, I can plan things for the maid to spend her time productively, effectively and efficiently so that I can have a cleaner house and more time to spend with the kids, and the hubby and my piano and my blog.

I don't think I can ever be labeled a tai tai. I still believe in doing most things myself. At the most, I'm a part time tai tai with an assistant. ;) Well, this part time tai tai has got to run now, to cook with the help of her assistant. Hehe.

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I wish I had more time for my second child

I wish I had more time for my second child. Oh, I have no problem spreading the love among the kids but its the time that I have a problem with.

With my first, I had the time to teach her in a structured but fun manner and as a result, I believe she has develop a love for learning and reading. And because of her love and keeness for learning, it is a joy to teach her.

However, when it comes to number 2, I haven't been able to spend the same amount of time teaching him. I really should commit more of my time for him. Half a year is over now and I haven't taught him in the way that I had envisioned or wished to.

All I did was take out his activity books and say "Nah, do this." Then I'd be off to do some other things. This is not the right manner of teaching. I can see the difference. When I do this, his attention span becomes less and after a while he says "Mummy, I am tired."

What our children want most of all from us, is our time and attention. When I sit down with them, with all my time and attention foccussed on them, then thats when I see their eagerness to learn and ask questions and I don't get "Mummy, I am tired." I get "Mummy, I want to have lessons."

Whats the point of this post? Well, I just feel guilty and I feel bad. I must think of a way to adjust my schedule to include daily one to one teaching time with him. Yes, thats it. Thats what I will do. Time to go off and put on my thinking hat now.

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Choose your bedtime stories carefully

Last night we were reading Hansel and Gretel. The story was sad. The children's mother had died and the father remarried. The step mother then persuaded the father to get rid of the children by leaving them in the middle of the forest. At the end of the story the step mother had died and the children's father welcomed the children back into the home when they found their way home.

What kind of a father is that anyway!!!!!! After the story and the lights were off, my boy asked me "Mummy, what happens to you after you die?"

Uh Oh! Does that happen to you? There are many seemingly harmless fairytales and classics that just aren't all that suitable at bedtime.

My kids are often frightened by the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs or that awful troll in the Three Billy Goats Gruff.

Then theres the mother duck who rejects her baby just because he's The Ugly Duckling and there's Jack who went to steal things from the Giant in Jack and The Beanstalk. I'm not sure these are values I want to teach my children ie stealing and rejecting someone because of their looks.

Next time I should really choose the bedtime stories carefully before I read them to the kids! Lol.

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When mommy goes out and leaves the kids with daddy

Why is it that when daddy goes out and leaves the kids with mommy, he just strolls out the door, just like that?

But when mommy goes out and leaves the kids with daddy, she has to....... scuttle around and make sure that....

• the kids are fed/bathed/napped
• the food/milk is prepared beforehand
• daddy knows where to find the food/milk/kids clothes
• daddy knows what time to feed the kids/get the kids to nap
• etc etc etc (fill in the list yourself)

And when daddy comes home, he just strolls in through the door, just like that and the kids are fed/bathed/napped.

But when mommy comes home, she is faced with a mini chaos...

• If lucky enough to find kids napping, there will be milk bottles/dishes in the sink to clean up
• If lucky enough to find the kids bathed, there will be clothes strewn all over the bed/floor/chairs
• If lucky enough to find that the kids have eaten, they may be running around sweating/sleepy but still having fun refusing to sleep

Hmmm......... is it like that in your home too?

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More on Frugal Spending

I like to have my magazine fix but magazines can be rather expensive. So recently I was pleased to get 4 magazines for the price of less than one. Yup! I got backdated copies. Hehe.

I read magazines while waiting for the kids at the toilet, while supervising their homework etc. In other words, I read them while doing something else, so as not to waste time. Time is precious and I hate to be idle.

It does not matter to me that the magazines are backdated. I don't mind not reading about the latest fashions or the latest celebrity gossips. I am just pleased at a bargain and 4 magazines for the price of less than one is certainly a bargain. It'll last me quite a while too as I usually read them in between doing other things. I don't have the luxury of time to browse through the entire magazine in one sitting.

An article here and there is just about all I can manage in my little snatches of time but thats fine with me. At least I get to read now. When the kids were younger, it was even worse. Time was even more precious then.

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The Pain of Mastitis

The other day I had fever and chills which reminded me of the time when I was breastfeeding and having recurrent mastitis. I had severe fever and chills then. I felt so cold and sick during one of the occassions, I thought I was really ill and almost checked myself into the hospital emergency section.

I almost gave up breastfeeding then. My husband thought I should do so too if I had another bout of mastitis. Fortunately I never did. I remember being on at least two rounds of a 10 day course of antibiotics and feeling really guilty and unhappy about feeding baby breast milk laced with antibiotics. The paeditrician assured me that the milk contains only a small amount of the antibiotics but I felt guilty and unhappy nevertheless.

My baby failed to latch on and thats probably why I had the problems I did when breastfeeding. I had milk blisters and blocked ducts which led to mastitis. Milk Blisters are like little white pimples on the nipples. Sometimes pumping would release the milk and the milk would flow freely again. I can't describe the feeling of joy when that happens. However, once, pus was released instead and I had to pump and throw. What a waste. How tiring to pump and throw away the precious breast milk but I had no choice, not when the milk was green with pus!

Breastfeeding was really an emotional journey for me. The pain, the worry, the joy... it was an emotional time indeed. It was full of stress at the beggining but worth it eventually when we got it right. It did take a long time for us. (About 2 months) but I managed to breastfeed for 3 years so the beggining hard months seem little in comparison but it was really hard at first and it seemed like a long time then.

Breastfeeding can be hard, stressful and does not feel natural at all but do perservere. Its really worth it. Feeding your baby the best milk and bonding with baby is definitely worth it don't you think?

If you are suffering from a milk blister, blocked ducts or mastitis, I'd like to point you to some of these pages on kellymom which has very comprehensive information and links. One of the ways to lessen your worry and stress is by reading up and acquiring more knowledge about breastfeeding (and theres so much to learn!). I hope that the links below help you. Good luck in your breastfeeding journey.

How do you treat a milk blister?
Plugged Duct and Mastitis
Recurrent Mastitis or Plugged Ducts

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Switching to a more Frugal Lifestyle

Moomykin tagged me on this one but I can't access my personal blog to do it. So I shall just do it here. That is the beauty of having several blogs. Haha. If you can't access your blog on that day for whatever reason, you don't sweat it.

She wanted to know how I would change my lifestyle with prices rising on just about everything. I must say that she has most things covered so I can only think of a few more things.

1. Eat out Less. Its terribly expensive to eat out.
2. Drink water when eating out. Drinks can really bring up your bill quite a bit.
3. Stop buying toys. Play with homemade toys instead. This encourages creativity in the kids. I won't stop buying books though because books encourages reading and a love for reading which are good for a lifetime.
4. Use fan instead of aircon whenever possible.
5. Shop during sales.
6. Use discount coupons to shop.
7. Buy things in bulk. That helps to save money as well as trips to the supermarket.

Now, how would you change your lifestyle?

1. Sting
2. Lim Ai Lian
3. BengBeng
4. Henny

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Moms don't sleep

Moms don't sleep! I read this in an article from Reader's Digest Online's Parenting Channel http://www.rd.com/children-parenting/ and I totally agree. If you are a mom reading this, you would agree too, I am sure.

The article entitled Help for Sleepless Moms reveals that in a totally unscientific poll of mothers taken recently, no mother sleeps until her kids are grown and out of the house. Wow! That would mean that I have many more sleepless nights ahead of me. Help! I certainly need help.

I started not sleeping well the moment I was pregnant being heavy, having to get up to pee every hour, having to sleep on one side and difficulty turning, worries, etc etc etc. Then when baby came along it was worse. Difficulty breastfeeding kept me up all night and all day long pumping and trying to latch baby. It was crazy.

Now that they are older I have to keep them entertain and wait for them to sleep before I do. Sometimes they wake up in the middle of the night and look for me. This is especially so when they are sick. When they are sick then I am in a standby mode, ever ready to wake up at the slightest sound.

Now this sleep article is telling me that I won't be getting good sleep till the kids are adults and leave the house! Fortunately, it does suggest some strategies or 8 sleep secrets for mothers. Unfortunately I fail in most of them. Lol! I think a revision of my sleep strategies is in order.

A great article. You can find this and many more articles at http://www.rd.com/children-parenting/.

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Busy School Holidays

Recently my girl had a two week mid term break. I had planned many activities for her. One of them was to let her practise her Chinese Online on BetterChinese.com. She really enjoys navigating the site. Her favourite is the animated Magical Chinese Characters. She likes to watch the stories transform into Chinese words that she recognises.

During school days, she has little time to explore the site because of her homework so I thought that school holidays would be a good time. But with so much to do and so little time, I found that 2 weeks flew by just like that.

In the end, she watched a lot of cartoon shows on VCD and we did some crafts and a little bit of lesson in Math and Science which she enjoys. Oh, I feel so guilty! I really need to let her practise her Chinese if I am going to send her to Chinese School.

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I thrive on hugs!

One of the best rewards as a mother to little ones are the hugs and kisses they shower on me. How I miss it even for a day.

I was sick with fever and chills and warned the kids not to come near me in case I pass it to them. I felt really sick so I was really afraid of passing it to the kids.

Oh how I miss their hugs and kisses. I didn't realise it but I have gotten so used to their daily hugs and kisses. So have the kids. They are finding this "no hugging or kissing mummy" thing very hard to do, especially the younger one. He loves to be hugged and cuddled and kissed.

So I thought them how to do virtual hugs. We stand from across the room and pretend to hug the air then we blow kisses at each other. I can't wait to getting back to real hugs and kisses.

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Guilt laden Mommy

I feel guilty that I haven't been spending enough time teaching my boy. I spent more time teaching his sister before him because I had more time then.

But time is only an excuse. When somebody really, really wants to do something, they will be able to find the time for it.

So I'm laden with guilt. I should spend at least 1/2 hour or an hour in the morning teaching him when his sister is in school. After all that is what I am home for. I am home to spend time with the kids, not to blog. I keep telling myself that I will do it tomorrow.....

As a mommy, I feel lots and lots of guilt. I feel guilt when I don't spend enough time with the kids playing with them or teaching them. I feel guilty when I don't feed them proper nutritious foods but rely on fast foods when I don't have the time or when I am plain lazy. I feel guilty when I raise my hands on them in anger rather than to discipline. I feel guilty when they look over tired because they did not get enough rest. I could go on and on.

There is so much guilty feelings. I must learn to relax. A happy and relaxed mommy is better than one that is always worrying and feeling guilty. Then I feel guilty that I am not relaxing enough.....

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Mother's Day 2008

Just a short record of what we did to remind me in my old days. :)

It was business as usual. Hubby was sick. I woke up made breakfast for everybody. Cleaned up. Washed and hung up some clothes. Did some ironing. Then we went out to do our grocery shopping. We stopped at the bookshop to browse for a while. Then hubby said I could choose what to eat for lunch because it was Mummy's Day.

I saw that he was tired and just wanted to go home and we hadn't done our shopping yet so I picked Pizza to make the kids happy and so we could go home as soon as we could to rest. That made the boy cry because he wanted to eat McDonalds. He soon forgot his tears when he saw the sprite and the twisty garlic bread.

After our grocery shopping we came home to rest. We only woke up in time for dinner. We went out to nearby coffee shop for dinner. Again, hubby said I could pick the dishes because it was Mummy's Day. Haha. So we had steamed fish and butter prawns and omellettes. Hubby asked the kids to feed me the prawns because it was Mummy's Day and so they did, much to their delight.

When we got home, it was time to throw out the rubbish and boil water and time for bed again. A routine but nice day and sweet of hubby to remind the kids to think of "mummy" even though he was sick.

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Mother's Day - The Reality

The other day I wrote a Mother's Day Fantasy.

Baby Darren's Mommy has this to say...

"It is so funny that aren't we mothers supposed to spend our day with our children but it sounded just so ridiculous that most mothers (like Judy and MG) prefers to spend our Mother's Day away from the children instead.."

Haha. Yes it sound ridiculous and selfish that on the day called "Mother's Day" we want to "escape" from being a Mother for just a day. Anyway its just a daydream.

My Mother's Day reality will be something like this.

I will go grocery shopping as usual because hubby is busy this Saturday. So we have to get it done on Sunday. My girl will try to sing the Chinese Mother's Day Song which she has been practising all month long and kindy. "Mummy, if I can't remember how to sing the song, can I just do the actions or if I can't remember the actions, can I not sing at all?" Hahaha. Thats my girl. As for my boy, he will follow me around all day long trying to pinch my face. I wonder when he will grow out of this habit.

It will be a day just like any other day. But thats ok because I love them both very very much. Just having them is the best gift of all. And I am sure all mothers agree with me. :)

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Do you look like your mother?

Mother's Day is coming so I just want to reminisce about my mom a little bit. She died when I was 10.

Mom was beautiful. I'm afraid that none of her 3 daughters inherited her looks. Hahaha. No, I don't look like her but I've been told that I am rather like her. She was soft spoken. I'm supposed to be soft spoken too but you wouldn't know it when you hear me shouting at my kids. Haha.

Back to mum's looks. She had 5 of us to look after, make that 6 plus dad. She cooked and washed our family's clothing sitting down in the wet area of our house with several pails around her. Some were filled with soap and others with water for rinsing. Sometimes I would help her to rinse the clothes. She must have been pretty busy just looking after us but she still had time to pursue her favourite passtimes... baking and sewing. She was fantastic at both baking and sewing. How good it would be if she were alive or lived longer to teach me those things.

Anyway, I digress. Despite all this, she still had time to look after herself. I remember my mum putting creams on her face. Sometimes she would stand in front of the mirror and complain about her figure and asked us if she were putting on weight. Sometimes she would ask us to rub lime on her back so that she would have a smoother back I presume. In those days, people relied very much on home or alternative treatments. Mum never had the chance to try out all the types and varieties of creams and makeup that we have nowadays. Mum never even had a dressing table for what little things she had. Yet, she still tried to make and keep herself beautiful. We were poor back then. If only mum were still alive when we were a little bit better off. She worked so hard to take care of us but she never had the chance to enjoy any of the finer things in life.

Whats the point of this post? I don't really know. I just want to remember mum. Another thing, despite not getting her looks I should learn from her in looking after myself a little bit better. I think as a woman, we should all still be a little vain, in the sense that we should never let ourselves go completely. We should make the effort to dress up our face at least if not our bodies. Its good for the self esteem and overall confidence. Yes, that is what I shall try to learn from my mother.

What about the rest of you ladies. Do you look like your mother? Have you inherited any of her traits? What would you like to learn from her?

Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's who visit this blog. Hope you all have a good day. Despite my silly post the other day about Mother's Day Fantasy, the fact is all I am going to do on Mother's Day is stay home and be a MOTHER. The kids give me daily hugs and kisses so I'm going to enjoy that before they outgrow that! Lol!

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Happy Labour's Day to all Mothers

I read in Wikipedia that Labour Day is an annual holiday celebrated all over the world that resulted from efforts of the labour union movement, to celebrate the economic and social achievements of workers.

Well, I must say all Mothers certainly qualify as workers who contribute to the economic and social development of young people. Yet these workers (Mothers) do not get an annual holiday. Oh dear.

All mothers, whether its WM, SAHM, WAHM, etc or whatever names it is we mothers call ourselves, we all work very hard. But there is no annual day of rest. No, we Mothers never rest. Not even when we are asleep. We are watchful and wakeful at the slightest sound or movement. We are always there to labour on and on and on for those we love.

"We don't have a stop button because our love is always on."

I borrowed this wonderful phrase from this Mother's Day Poem by Sonya Covert.

Happy Labour's Day to all Mothers!

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Mommy Blogger Super Mom

Mommy Blogger Super Mom is a self confessed computer geek. She loves learning and doing research and has a knack for finding things online .... especially those things that help her family save money.

You can read about how she uses the internet to save and make money on her Money Saving Blog "A Mom Online Trying to Save and Make Money". In it you can get to read about how to save money by using alternative cleaners, homemade products and get information about online shopping deals as well as other financial information.

Super Mom has got two daughters, an 8 year old and an almost 2 year old whom she refers to as her Little Miss and her Littlest Miss. :) You can read about her Parenting Stories on her Personal Blog called "Counting Days."

She says she doesn't know what part-time is. She is trying to balance everything full time! Lol! I like that. Here's one Super Mom who chooses mommyhood and making money online, a new generation mommy!

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What I REALLY want to do on Mother's Day

Last night as I dipped my hand into the toilet bowl to retrieve a toothpaste that had found its way in there...... and later again in the middle of the night when I was woken up from sleep by a vomitting girl and as I dipped my hand into the sink to unclog the vomit.......I started to daydream........ about what I'd REALLY like to do on Mother's Day.

On Mother's day, I would like to check into a spa resort WITHOUT THE KIDS in tow. The spouse can come along. Hahaha. I would like to be pampered from head to toe, massage, pedicure, manicure, headcure...... all day long. I would like to bathe in a floral bath with sweet scents and lie in a four poster bed with flower petals strewn on it and soft see through draperies drawn around it. I love four poster beds. I think they're so romantic but I haven't got a chance to sleep in one yet. Hopefully, in this lifetime...

Then I would like to dress up in something glamorous. I would like to dress up slowly without being interrupted. No rush. No rush since I don't have to dress up other small people at the same time and watch my makeup being ruined (that is if I have the time to do it in the first place) and sweat replacing my perfume. I would like to doll myself up and slip into a pair of impossibly high heels (those type that you can't wear when you're carrying a kid and chasing another around) with diamantes that glitter in the dark.

Then I would like to go for a dinner at a posh restaurant with live music overlooking the city nightlights. The night sky would be clear so one can see as far as the eye can see. I would like to eat food thats pleasing to the eye and teases the palate at the same time. I would like to drink champagne while listening to the soothing sounds of piano and some strings in the background. And my spouse would say to me "Hon, thank you for being such a wonderful Mother to our children. Here's to you." while he toasts me with the champagne. Hahaha. I'm so corny.

Then when dinner is over I would go back to my romantic four poster bed and jump on my man without being interrupted or the threat of interruption. Hahaha. Well, ok, I better stop my Mother's Day Fantasy here since this is a family friendly site. Lol!

Now back to the reality. Perhaps my Mother's Day Fantasy sounds a bit like my Wedding Anniversary Fantasy but since my Wedding Anniversary also falls in the month of May..... Besides the kids are still young, too young to understand the significance of Mother's Day. Perhaps when they are older I will have a different wish for Mother's Day. I'd wish to be pampered and waited upon by the two kiddoes from dawn to dusk. But in the meantime, their father has to be the one who has to do the work. But its not going to happen. We have a pact you see. We have a pact not to celebrate Mother's Day or Father's Day till the kids are old enough to understand and celebrate it with us. Still, I can dream, can't I? *pouts*

Now I am interested in what YOU would really like to do on Mother's Day.

• Sasha
• MontessoriMum
• Wen
• Vien
• Kat
• Ling
• Moomykin
• Suzette
• MamaKhong
• Sharlydia

Don't hold back. Let it rip! Will you share your Mother's Day Fantasies on your blog. Then pass it on to other Mothers to share. Lets be silly and let our hair down. Then add your name and blog post url to the list and let it go around. I'll start with mine. Anyone can participate in this. Just write your blog post and add your name to the list. Its that simple.

1. Mumsgather shares - What I REALLY want to do on Mother's Day.

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Mommy Blogger Military Wife

Mommy Blogger MilitaryWife maintains a blog called Stay At Home Mom & Military Wife. As the name of her blog suggests, she is married to a Military Man and is a SAHM to two little ones, her almost 5 year old girl who is her Princess and her close to 1 year old baby boy who is her Little Man. In it she chronicles A day in the life of a Military Wife to a husband who's deployed plus SAHM to a little girl at school and a little boy in diapers.

I love the little M&Ms on her blog header which she uses to depict her little family. Military Man looks like a Transformer M&M (he looks really cool with raised eyebrows and all), Military Wife is a dazzling pink M&M, her little Princess is the lighter pink M&M in a tiara while baby boy is the pale blue M&M. Totally adorable.

If you like Memes, you may be interested to know that Military Wife is hosting a brand new Musical Monday Meme on her blog. Here's how the musical game works. Every Monday she will post a Musical Question on her blog and you are to answer the question on your blog. Simple and Fun and a good way to fill in for those days when you get a blogger's block. :)



And for those of you who likes crafts for kids, she posts a craft idea on her blog every Friday.

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Mothers, do you maintain your friendships?

Credit for the Image: All About Girlfriends from Lou's Place (Its a very nice page and read. You should check it out)

Do you still have your girlfriends after your children came along or.......

I think its really important to maintain your friendships because there is nothing like being able to share a cuppa with a good girlfriend chatting about oh you know the things that we girls like to chat about.

Sadly though, I have not been able to do that. I guess one reason could be because I married late. While I was busy partying, my girlfriends were all married and having babies. Now that I'm married and having young kids, their kids are all in the late teens. And all those other girlfriends I had been partying with are either still partying or married and divorced or remarried and moved away.

I'm so sad I have not been able to maintain my friendships. It takes a lot of effort to maintain friendships. You've got to keep in touch and be there for your friend and not just be a friend when you are free and available. Sadly, I have been so wrapped up with my own kids and family, I did not have time to maintain my friendships. What about you?

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Mommy Blogger Venus

Mommy Blogger Venus loves writing and she uses her two blogs to express her strong views clearly and effectively. She likes to use her blogs to express her opinions through writing.

Her Cultured Views Blog has the tagline, news, views and commentary. In it she blogs about her views about whats happening in the world or the latest news and her thoughts on them. She also writes about her family life as in this very endearing post about Separation Anxiety. (No not the Separation Anxiety faced by her little ones but the Separation Anxiety she feels when her kids go off to visit Nan and Granda. Lol! I am sure many mothers can relate to that feeling!

In her other blog Mums Finance she gives straightforward financial advice for women. Though aimed at women its useful for anyone who likes topics like mortgages, budgeting and investment presented in an uncomplicated and straightforward way. If you are writing sponsored posts you should check out her tips on "How to Make Your Posts Great to Read" in the Make Money Blogging Category. I wonder if I pass her test?

She writes what she believes in and she believes in complete honesty. I like that in a blogger!

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Mommy Blogger Penny

Mommy Blogger Penny is a new mum to a baby boy, 7 plus months to be exact. She loves to shop so its no surprise that one of the blogs she maintains is a shopping blog called....

Shop Till I Drop - As the name of this shopping blog suggests, Penny does reviews of all the shopping she does for the convenience of the rest of us. She does her "shopping" mainly from window shopping at retail stores as well as warehouses during sales, online shops, home catalogue shopping etc. She says she has a huge waiting list of things that can never be fulfilled. Haha. Don't we all? Head on there if you love shopping.

As a parent, Penny also maintains a Parenting Blog called Life As Parents. Some of the categories you can find on this blog include baby development, baby food, baby sleep, baby vaccination, everything that a new mother would be interested in plus shopping of course. :) If you're a mother of a new baby, you might like to read Penny's Parenting Blog to share stories with Penny or read her "real time" chronicles of Life as a Parent to a 7 + month old baby. If you're an "old" mother, you can go there too for some good memories as you read her current baby journal. I was brought back very vividly to the time when my baby was that age when I read her baby food journal.

Watch out for more reviews tomorrow.

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Mommy Blogger Anna

Mommy Blogger Anna whom I got to know on SocialSparks is a SAHM for the past three years now. She has two main blogs:

1. Stories of ACE - ACE stands for the initials of her family, herself, hubby and sweet almost 6 year old daughter. It cronicles her personal stories about family life, parenting and other observations in life.

2. I Don't Want to Nap! - She has dedicated this blog to all mummies, daddies, grandparents, aunties, uncles and anyone caring for active little ones who refuse to nap! You can get together here to discuss what you can do to keep yourself sane. You can talk about what activities you can do with the little ones to spend some quality time together with them as well as giving yourself some much needed "Me time" while you're at it.

I like the concept in the blog I Don't Want to Nap. I think its a great idea to blog about it. When my kids refuse to sleep, I get so mad! Haha. Blogging will be very thereaupetic to release my frustration and at the same time get some ideas from other moms too. Why not visit this blog to vent your frustrations or share your ideas?

This is my first mommy blogger review. I'm really enjoying this. Its a whole new way of getting to know other mommy bloggers. Do watch out for my 2nd, 3rd, 4th etc review. Lol!

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Mommy Bloggers Category

I'm starting a new category for this blog today. Its called "Mommy Bloggers". In this category, I shall review new mommy bloggers on the blog that I've just come across. Some of these mommy bloggers are not new on the blog at all but they are new to me.

I think its good to have this category on this blog for mommies. In fact, I had wanted to start a directory of mommy and daddy bloggers but then thats being a bit ambitious. It'll take a lot of hard work to update them regularly and I won't be able to keep up. There are so many parent bloggers out there.

Reviewing parent bloggers is the next best thing to a parent blogger directory. :)

Blogging is a great way for parents to record down the growing years of their children. I think its great!

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A lifetime of worry and love

My sister was telling me about how worried she is about her son's further education. Where to send him and for what course? How to guide him along the right career choice? etc etc.

We both concluded that as mothers, we never stop worrying about our kids. We worry about them during pregnancy, then when they are little babies, toddlers and preschoolers.

We worry about what their education, which kindergarten to send them to, then which school, college and university. Then we worry about their jobs.

We worry about their life partner choices. We worry about them when they start having kids of their own. We never stop worrying about our kids. Not even when they are adult and start worrying about us in return, not even then.

We will worry about them for a lifetime but being a mother and worrying and loving our children is the best feeling in the world. Motherhood is really a life changing event.

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Very touching Mother facts

I received this in an email and I thought it too cute not to share in this blog for mothers. I hope you enjoy reading it too.

Very touching Mother facts !

When you came into the world, she held you in her arms.
You thanked her by wailing like a banshee.

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the
next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from
soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.

You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.

You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

Those teenage years

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to driver her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

Growing old and gray

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition,
drove you to campus, carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't
be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told
you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of an relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came
crashing down like thunder.

"Rock me baby, rock me all night long."
"The hand who rocks the cradle...may rock the world".

Let us take a moment of the time just to pay tribute/show appreciation to the person called MOM though some may not say it openly to their mother. There's no substitute for her. Cherished every single moment. Though at times she may not be the best of friends, may not agree to our thoughts, she is still your mother!!! She will be there for you...to listen to your woes, your braggings, your frustations, etc. Ask yourself.....have you put aside enough time for her, to listen to her "blues" of working in the kitchen, her tiredness??? Be tactful, loving and still show her due respect though you may have a different view from hers. Once gone, only fond memories of the past and also regrets will be left.

DON'T TAKE FOR GRANTED THE THINGS CLOSEST TO YOUR HEART. CLING TO THEM AS U WOULD YOUR LIFE, FOR WITHOUT THEM, LIFE IS MEANINGLESS

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I'm a computer geek mom

I'm a computer geek mom. I wouldn't be able to survive without my computer. I use my computer for everything.

Its my dictionary, my clock, my blog. I use it to keep in touch using emails and some social networking sites. Its my radio, my recipe book, my medical handbook, my newspaper.

I let my kids play with my computer too. They play games online, email their daddy occassionally and even learn Chinese online. I'm Chinese but I don't know Chinese Mandarin so the computer is a very useful tool for me to teach the kids.

I let the kids watch short cartoon clips on YouTube. I also use the computer to search for the lyrics of some children songs that I have forgotten so I can sing it with the kids. And I am always looking for new crafts on the computer to do with the kids. And when they are sick, I search the net for their symptoms and when or whether I should be worried.

There is no denying it. I am a computer geek mom and if you are a mom reading this, you probably are too. Lol!

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A mother's warm embrace

Some of you may know that my mother died of cancer when I was 10. So the main ingredient that has been missing from my life is to be comforted by a mother's warm embrace and love. Its not just the cuddles but its the love and care of a mother that is missing from my life. That is such a large piece of life to miss out on.

I moved around a lot when I was in my teens and early adulthood due to my father's job. When I was 16 I stayed for a year with a caring aunt. It was then that I felt how it would be like to have a mother's love. I remember in the middle of one night I had a really bad tummy ache and my aunt gave me some chinese medicine powder to consume. She also stayed up to rub my tummy with medicated oil. What a relief it was and how wonderful it felt to have someone to care for me. A couple of times she also made some herbal soups for my period pain. Again, it was nice to have someone do that for me.

Yes, that is something that I miss out on. A mother's warm embrace and love. And this is something that I must remember to give to my kids. I know discipline is important so we must not spoil them. On the other hand sometimes we are tired and frustrated and we must remember not to take it out on the kids.

I remember many nights when my girl peed or vomitted on the bed, instead of giving her a mother's warm embrace, I gave her a scolding instead. Poor girl. Its not her fault. She would stand there looking lost and sleepy while struggling to change into a set of cleaner clothes which I handed over to her while trying not to step on the vomit less I give her my angry stare.

Last night when the girl vomitted all over my newly changed duvet covers and carpet, I remembered this thought, so although I was sick, tired and frustrated, I remembered to give her lots of cuddles, stroke her hair and told her "its ok, mummy will clean up all the mess in the morning, you just go back to sleep." And she smiled at me sleepily and went back to sleep. I went to sleep happy too. I must remember to do this more often.

Next time, perhaps I should go another step further and remember to give my girl a hug and help her clean up first before I tackle the cleaning up of the floor and bed. Her face was full of vomit and all I did was wipe it with tissue and asked her to wash it herself and change her clothes herself while I cleaned the floor with a sour look on my face. Perhaps I should have helped her first. She looked so sleepy and upset. Her daddy was scolding her for wetting her clothes when she was washing up and for walking on the vomit. He must have been tired too because he normally gives hugs first before scoldings. I cleaned up the floor and bed first because I didn't want the mess to get worse but sometimes we forget that people are more important than the floor or bed!

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Are you a glamour mother?

No, not I. Certainly not I. I thought about this after reading fellow blogger mommy Reese Matthew's Secret Isle blog post about The meaning of being a mother.

Nope, I'm no glamour mother. I remember I lived in my pjs for months when the kids were newborn. My main attire was knee length housecoats with front openings cause it was easier to breastfeed that way. My hair was a disarray most of the time and I was anything... but Glamourous. (Now how do you spell the dang word. I can't even spell it, how to look it?) I looked more like something the cat dragged in most of the time. Lol! Seriously, I did.

Now, that the kids are older (4 & 6) I can allow some glamour to return into my life. However, it does feel a bit ridiculous to toddle around in my high heels and my swirly flirty dress pushing two crying kids in a supermarket trolley. Hahaha. Oh well, I guess I'll leave the glamourous looks to the celebrities. They look glamourous even during pregnancy. I don't know how. I looked like a beached whale during pregnancy. Thats what my girlfriend called me, a beached whale.

How did you look during pregnancy and early motherhood?

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Being a parent unleashes the child within us

There is a child within all of us, I think, just waiting to get out.

Well, after being a parent, the child within me has been unleashed. Hahaha. Now, I can act silly with my kids and eat the kinds of foods they like to eat together with them. And I get to play with their toys that I never had. Even some of their computer games and online stories etc are rather fascinating. I almost wish I was a child again. Lol!

Now, I'm an expert at making origami boats, balloon animals and folding paper aeroplanes. I enjoy watching cartoons together with the kids. However, I must confess that I do enjoy watching it more with my 3 year old though. He would watch it enraptured, without a word, his eyes glued to the screen soaking in every scene whereas with my 5 year old girl its a question every few minutes. Whoa! Its hard to watch a movie that way you know. You keep missing scenes to answer the questions and the answers always leads to more questioning as though you are being interrogated.

I find that getting down to the kids level, helps me bond with them better and whats more, I get to enjoy being a kid again!

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Confessions of a tired, lazy mom

I feel tired and lazy today, too lazy to do anything and I mean ANYTHING. So what did I do for lunch? I fixed a breakfast meal for lunch for me and the kids. Yup! Thats what I did. We had breakfast for lunch.

I made an omellette. Three types of toast, one with cheese on it, another with kaya and yet another with butter and sugar sprinkled over it. Then I took out the CNY leftover Mandarin oranges for dessert and topped it all up with 7-up.

"Yeah!" The kids cheered. "Errm..yes..." I swallowed my guilt. "Wow, so many nice things on the table. What a nice surprise lunch after school." my girl added grinning from ear to ear.

Lol! I wonder why they don't say that for those meals that I take hours to prepare, nutritious soups that take hours to simmer and a well rounded meal of meats, vegetables and rice or noodles?

What do you cook when you are too tired or lazy?

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Mothers are good at multitasking

Whenever I go and pick my daughter back from kindergarden, I sometimes see this other mother who is in the car waiting for her kid (I shall call this one the preschooler). In her car with her is a younger child, around 2-3 years old (the toddler) and another even younger one around 6-8 months old (the baby).

Usually the toddler would sit in front with her and the baby would be asleep in the car seat at the back as she waits for her preschooler. Today, as she was waiting for her preschooler, the toddler was asleep at the back seat and she was breastfeeding the baby.

Now thats what I call multitasking and good time management! The baby gets a nutritious feed while the toddler gets a nap and the preschooler will be driven home by her taking over the role of a driver in a very short while.

I almost wanted to walk up to her, give her a thumbs up and say "You go girl!" but of course I couldn't. She was busy breastfeeding and bonding with her baby. :)

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My biggest breastfeeding mistake

I had read up a lot about breastfeeding to prepare myself and some of the words that were ingrained in my mind were....


Breastfed babies do not need water.

Breastfeeding works on a demand and supply basis so don't feed baby with formula milk as that will decrease babies demand for breastmilk.


I had breastfeeding problems from Day One. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get baby to latch on. And no matter how much I pumped, most of the time I could only get 1/2 and ounce.


Despite this, I denied my baby water and formula milk because I was afraid, so very afraid that giving baby formula milk and other liquids will sabotage my breastfeeding efforts. I was adamant. No! No water and no formula for my baby.


I was blind to the fact that baby was not getting enough. I was starving my poor baby. She lost 25% of her birth weight during the first 2 weeks which is a scary thing. Her lips were dry and cracked. Looking back at her early weeks pictures now, I see a haggard looking baby with sunken cheeks whereas she was quite a big baby at birth.


What a stupid thing I did. She could easily have more problems from dehydration (fortunately she did not) due to my determination to breastfeed her.

To all new breastfeeding mothers, I have to this to say. Don't be afraid to relax a little and give your babies a little bit of formula if it is necessary. Your breastfeeding efforts will not be derailed. Your breastfeeding efforts will not fail if you don't give up. Don't give up your goal of fully breastfeeding your baby and you will succeed in the end. A little bit of formula along the way may sometimes be necessary. Just don't give up. You may perhaps need to give mixed feeds at first but little by little you will get your baby to take full breastfeeds. Don't give up! You will succeed in the end. And don't deprive your baby of proper nourishment if they're not getting enough breastmilk for the time being.

To check if your baby is having enough, you have to check how often she wets her diapers. You can read this article from : What Are Baby's Stools Supposed to Look Like and How Often Should Baby Wet? by Paula Yount. I got the link from kellymom which is an excellent resource for breastfeeding mothers.

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How to get some real sleep when you co-sleep

We co-sleep with the kids. This is a problem when we need some real sleep. Now, we've got a way to fix the problem. We have a little adjoining room where hubby uses to get some work done. So when we need some real sleep we would separate the kids.

When they are together they have so much to chat about, they don't want to sleep. So we separate them. The boy may stay with me, the girl goes with her dad or I would sleep in the study on days that we want some real sleep.

We sometimes do this sleep arrangement during naptimes in the weekends but most days we still co-sleep. I love to co-sleep with the kids. Its the best time of the day to unwind together and chat or read with them. Its the best time of the day to bond with them.

How does anyone else get some real sleep when they co-sleep? Care to share?

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Gong Xi Fa Cai 2008!

Free Chinese Graphics from CyArena

I've been putting off my spring cleaning for days and days. I'm having trouble just doing the regular maintenance work! However since its a long weekend for us here, hubby will be around for 3 days to help me. Yahoo! So if I'm too busy to update this blog for a while, here's wishing anyone who passes by here a Happy Chinese New Year 2008! Hope you have a good Chinese New Year and don't eat too much!

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Before I became a mom

I actually received this beautiful poem (which I've read before) in a meme from KittyCat. Since its really a lovely poem for mothers, I thought it deserved a place here instead of on my other blog where she tagged me. Here is the poem. I hope you all enjoy it.

Before I was a Mom
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

This poem has been passed around to the other blogging mommies below.

Here’s the first chain, to which you add your link at the bottom after mine.

1. Montessorimum
2. clumsy mommy
3. Sandra
4. VivianZ
5. AllThingsPurple
6. KittyCat
7. Mumsgather

And I'd like to pass this poem on to these other blogging mommies:

1. Ling, Thats Me
2. Mott
3. Suzette
4. Sasha
5. Miche

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How to avoid the early morning rush?

Before my daughter started kindergarden, we used to go to bed around 11pm-12am and wake up around 9-10am. Yes, its terrible hours I know but it worked for us. I have always believed that with parenting anything that works for your family and situation is fine so I won't get uptight or stressed up if I'm not doing whats considered the norm in Parenting books or other parent's eyes.

The children get to play with their daddy a bit after he comes back from work. Hubby would like them to have an earlier bedtime but its my fault really. I'm the night bird so they follow my style. I'm the one who usually puts them to bed so they go to bed only when I've done all my chores and is well and ready to settle down for the night.

However when my girl started kindy, I had to make her wake up at 7.30am so we had to do a bit of adjusting.

How are we doing so far? We are fine. The kids don't complain in the mornings. (It helps that she enjoys kindergarden). They have an earlier afternoon nap and they still go to bed at 11pm!

How do we avoid the early morning rush? Well, mummy has to wake up earlier than everyone else of course. So in the mornings, I wake up and get myself ready, then I wake the girl up and get her ready, then I wake the boy up and get him ready, then we all have breakfast and leave the house. There is no rush and no tears but mummy has to sacrifice her sleep. Thats how we avoid the early morning rush.

This post is continued from the following:

Changing the kids bedtime (Part I) and
My kids' naptimes at age 3 and 5 (Part II)
Waking up early is fun
New bedtime routine update

Related post:

Staggered bedtimes or sleep at the same time?

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When new permanent teeth comes in behind the milk teeth

Credit for the Image: boyntondentistry.com

Here are the links I promised when I noticed that the my girl's permanent teeth was coming in behind her milk teeth. I panicked and did some research on the internet and found some really good links. Here they are:

1. 1. Forum discussion on "I just noticed that my 5 year old has a new tooth coming in behind another!" from DealoftheDay.com
2. 2. Permanent Teeth Coming in Behind Baby Teeth is said to be a common occurence for the lower front teeth at Smilekidz.com
3. 3. Permanent Teeth coming in behind Baby Teeth from the Pediatric Dentistry Blog
4. 4. Permanent teeth coming in behind baby teeth - discussion on the Berkeley Parents Network (BTW, I love to reference the Berkeley Parents Network for lots of discussion on bringing up kids. Too bad you can't join the discussion unless you live in that area but its still a good reference place to read about advise by real parents to other parents about real parenting issues)
5. 5. How are milk teeth replaced by permanent teeth? The animation by 32teethonline here shows the more common way where the permanent teeth pushes out the baby teeth during eruption, it does not talk about permanent teeth that is growing behind or parallel to the milk teeth. Still the animation is good and you can show it to your little ones when you talk to them about their teeth.

Hope these links will be useful to other parents whose child's permanent teeth is coming in behind their milk teeth.

My girl had her primary teeth coming in behind her lower baby teeth just like in the picture above but two instead of one. They grew till they were almost the same height before the milk teeth finally fell off. The dentist I saw did not think it was necessary to extract them. My sister in law who had the same problem with her son had his milk tooth extracted by the dentist. So to extract or not, depends on which dentist you see, I suppose. After a while the permanent teeth will move to its rightful place I am told although my girl's teeth are still a little bit behind the others. The dentist does not think it is a problem. If it eventually moves to the front, I will post an update on this blog.

Related Posts:

Her first Dental Visit at age 6

Help! Her milk teeth is growing parallel with her permanent teeth

A delayed visit to the Dentist

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Her First Dental Visit at age 6

My daughter is 5 going on 6. We brought her for her first dental visit at the end of last year. She had her bottom two permanent teeth coming in behind her milk teeth.

I first notice the permanent teeth a few months back. The milk teeth felt loose so I delayed the visit to the dentist. However, even though it appeared rather loose it was very stubborn and took its time to come off. By the time we brought her to the dentist, one of it had dropped off. The other which first became loose had sort of fallen into the space where the first had dropped off.

The dentist was not at all concerned about it. She said that it was common and we need not extract it since it was loose and about to come off anyway. She wanted the first visit for my girl to be pleasant so she just looked around, said everything was fine, praised my girl for brushing and gave her a sticker.

She also encouraged me to bring my 3 going on 4 boy into the room with us to look around to expose him. It was a very pleasant visit.......... for them but not for me. I had gum surgery. Ewe.

Oh before I forget, I wanted to note that she said that both my kids had an opposite bite (I'm not sure of the term) but what it meant was when they bite down, their lower teeth is in front instead of behind the upper teeth as it should be. She told us to monitor that and have it evaluated in a year's time.

Related Posts:
Help! Her milk teeth is growing parallel with her permanent teeth
When new permanent teeth comes in behind the milk teeth

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