Chemical Pregnancy

My period was late. I'm usually regular. I felt bloated and a little bit nausea on and off, pregnancy symtoms I recognise from before. We did a home pregnancy test. The positive results line was so faint, we had to squint our eyes to see it. We were hopeful but worried.

We tested again a few days later with the same very, very faint positive result. So faint we doubted the results. Thoughts of "What is happening?" "Am I pregnant?" swirled around in my head. I felt pregnant but by now (as was the case for the previous two times I was pregnant) we would have had a strong positive result. Why was my hcg levels so low it could not be picked up by the pregnancy test kit? What could this mean? I felt right with all the right familiar pregnancy symtoms I remembered but the results show something else. We were still a bit hopeful but more and more worried.

I searched the internet and read up about low hcg levels. It could probably mean an impending miscarriage, a blighted ovum or an ectopic pregnancy, none of which sounded very promising. We began to feel more worried and a bit scared especially when I had very slight spotting in the evening. We decided to see the doctor soon.

However, even before we got to the doctor, the next day, at about 8-10th day after my period was due, I began to have my period. I know from my own body signals that this was not merely a late period. I probably was pregnant but must be experiencing an early miscarriage. I would probably have been about 5 - 6 weeks pregnant. I read that this is called a chemical pregnancy and that it is quite common and many pregnancies end this way even before a woman is aware that she was pregnant. Our fears were confirmed and now they were turned into feelings of resignation and sadness.

Miscarriage Before You Know It

A chemical pregnancy refers to pregnancy loss very early on. In a chemical pregnancy, it is thought that an egg is fertilized but fails to implant. As a result, your body does not begin to produce the obvious signs of pregnancy. Because a chemical pregnancy occurs so early in a pregnancy, most women never even realize they are pregnant. When they receive their period, they just assume they were a few days late.

Women who have been pregnant before, though, may notice that they "feel pregnant" prior to starting their period. Additionally, performing a pregnancy test, either at home or at your doctor’s office, will likely produce an initial positive result. However, this will quickly become a negative as your period approaches and you miscarry.

Read more about chemical pregnancy and early miscarriage here.

What a roller coaster week of emotions (and fluctuating hormones) it has been, full of anxiety and anxiousness and fear from not knowing what was happening. Alas, it is not meant to be this time. I just had to write this for closure. This post is private and belongs to my personal blog but somehow I like it here since this blog is new and has less readers.

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Online Educational Sites For Young Children

I've been writing endlessly on this blog about my pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding experiences. (It has to be because I started my personal blog after my children came along so I never got to record any of these. Lol!)

I'm going to take a breather today and talk about the online resources I use to teach or rather to play with my children instead.

Here's my step to step guide for teaching your child using online educational resources.

Step 1 - Introducing the Alphabet with Elmo's Keyboard-O-Rama. The kids love this one. When they press the correct alphabet on the keyboard they will see lovely animated action denoting each alphabet. After just a few turns on the keyboard, my two year old can now easily recognise his favourite animations. When I ask him to press "S" for Star or "T" for Toothbrush, he will quickly pick the letters out without hesistation and smile broadly when he is rewarded with the correct animation being displayed.

Step 2 - Reinforcing the Alphabet. After my girl became more adept at manuevering the mouse, we moved on to Learn to read at Starfall to learn more words starting with each Alphabet. Again, lovely animations, sounds and educational games delight her. It delights me as well as I can leave her to learn on her own without supervision. Lol!

Step 3 - First Steps towards Reading (through nursery rhymes). Before we learn to read, it would be a good idea to introduce children to words and sounds from nursery rhymes. My girl's favourite is Lalitha's nursery rhymes. Almost every nursery rhyme I learned as a child is here and more. I love the simple animations and home style singing without music at the site. My only grouse is it is a bit slow to load when first entering the page. After that it is fine.

Step 4- First Steps towards Reading (through bedtime stories and fairytales). I love this BBC storycircle site. All the stories I loved as a child is nicely animated and narrated here. You can find stories on Goldilocks & the 3 bears, Jack and the Beanstalk, The Princess and the Pea, Cinderella, The Three Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin, Hansel and Gretel, The Lion and The Mouse etc all nicely animated and narrated here. Another good stories site is The StoryPlace Pre-school Library. It concentrates on teaching using a thematic approach/through themes.

Step 5 - Learning to Read. Now that she has mastered her Alphabets and introduced to the concept of reading from nursery rhymes and stories we move on to learn to read the phonetic way again from Learn to read at Starfall. Repetitions offered through the related games, movies and reading pages with interesting animations and sounds helps her learn to read and remember. There are further stages to help a child learn to read from the site but my girl hasn't reached those stages yet so I'll review those later.

Step 6 - Learning to Write. This site Literacy Center includes an animated page to show my girl how to write her Alphabets (capital as well as small letters) and numbers in the correct way when I'm too lazy to show her how.

Step 7 - Learning to tell the time. Literacy Center also has a page to teach little ones to tell the time correctly both digitally as well as through the old fashion analog clock. There's no direct link to the telling time page. You'd have to browse around a little to get to it. Here's a quick tip. Just press the "Numbers" pad and go to item no "8".

Step 8 - Learning about the weather. I love to use this weather song and game to teach the kids about the weather.

Step 9 - Learning through music and songs. I learned a lot too from this site about instruments of the orchestra and I love to sing to my kids karaoke style using music and lyrics from NIEHs Kid's Pages Sing Along Songs Index. I used to sing to my girl till she fell asleep in my arms with the music still running. It sure helped a lot during naptime. She'd fall asleep in 10 - 20 minutes flat instead of an hour giving me more time to get things done.

There are lots more sites we explore but most of them are for games and other stuff. The sites reviewed here are mainly for educational purposes but they're not short of fun. Theres also a fingerplays ideas site, the url which I have lost :( and many craft ideas sites but we'll come to that another day. In the meantime, have fun with your kid!

If you like the sites I reviewed here or you have some to share with me, do drop me a comment. I'd love to hear about how your child enjoyed them.

Updated:
The link at Lalitha's nursery rhyme is broken and I'm really sad about that because it was an excellent site. If anyone knows a new link, please leave your comment with the new link. Thanks.

Related posts:
Teaching my kid to tell the time
Teaching my kids the basics about colors

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Elective Caesarean Under Epidural Anaesthesia

My husband had earlier told me that he might not accompany me into the operation room as he was concerned that he may faint when he sees blood. I told him that it was ok as I will be well taken care of by the doctors and nurses in attendance.

He had a last minute change of mind and decided to go in with me afterall. As I was prepared for the epidural, he was also prepared to enter the operation room by donning special attire. I was a little afraid when they administered the epidural, worrying about all the things that could go wrong. (after hearing and reading some epidural experiences which went wrong). My overactive imagination was working overtime.

When I was ready, they prodded me and asked if I felt anything. Nope. I didn't. It was a weird sensation to have my legs being lifted about without my knowledge. "Hey! Thats my legs up there" I thought as they lifted me onto the operation table.

Soon the operation began. I was aware throughout but I didn't feel any pain. Only pulling and tugging sensations. My husband, who had earlier informed me that he was too weak hearted to watch, started walking around the room chatting with the doctors. He even peered into my insides! "Now, he knows me inside out!" I thought.

The operating lights looked new and polished and if I looked hard enough I could see the reflection of a little of what was going on even though they covered the lower part of my body so that I could not see. I peeked a little.

My doctor and the anesthetist were discussing about the traffic jam conditions and which new roads they could try out for going to work! "Oh shut up and concentrate on your task. Don't leave a cotton ball or tool inside me by mistake" I wanted to tell them.

"He's very big and he's stuck. Help me pull." said my doctor to the nurses. Even the anesthetist wanted to get into the action to help pull baby out. I could feel them pulling and tugging, pulling and tugging. "Look! He is nice and stuck and so difficult to take out even from this side and you wanted to try a vaginal birth." joked my doctor.

They kept on tugging and finally "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH". It was the loudest cry I ever heard. My baby had loud and powerful vocals and I loved it! Then they cleaned baby up a bit, put him near my chest, asked me to look at him and told me "Its a boy!" for confirmation. I guess a caesarean under epidural is the closest to natural birth as you can have it since you are aware and awake when baby is delivered. Previously under general anesthesia, I could not experince this wonderful moment.

Soon after that my husband accompanied the baby out while the doctor finished up the rest of the task of removing the placenta and stitching me up. Compared to the first, the second delivery was "more enjoyable".

I had wanted to try for a VBAC and it turned out differently yet again. Still, I'm always of the opinion that the birthing experience is irrelevant. A healthy baby is all that matters.

Related Posts:

Natural Birth turned Emergency Caesarean
Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC)

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Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC)

After the first birth experience, I was still determined to have a natural birth. So I read up all about Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (VBAC) and informed my doctor about my birthing preference right from the start. My doctor said she would let me try since it was the hospital's policy anyway but she added that she would not allow me to try for too long. She was concerned about my old wound and feared that I may have an arrest in dilation like the first time. I prepared myself mentally for both a VBAC and another caesarean just in case things turned out that way again.

When the due date for delivery drew nearer, we began to feel very anxious, much more anxious than the first time. Again, a bloody show brought me to the doctor's office. We sat there and discussed the pros and cons between a VBAC and a Caesarean. My baby was large. My old wound was hurting. The umbilical cord was near my baby's neck. My doctor reminded me that she would not allow me to try too long because of the old wound. All of these factors seem to indicate that it would not be a very good idea to try for a VBAC and so that was how I opted to have a caesarean under epidural instead at almost the last hour.

My doctor said that I could not wait any longer and instructed me to go home, pack and return immediately to check in for labour. It was very rushed indeed but that was not a problem for me as I was mentally ready.

Oops! This post is getting a bit long. I shall continue in another post "Elective Caesarean Under Epidural Anaesthesia"

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Natural Birth Turned Emergency Caesarean

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Natural Birth turned Emergency Caesarean

I always wanted a natural birth. Who doesn't? I planned not to have any pain killers so that nothing will interfere with my plan to breastfeed baby immediately after birth. But of course those were my "plans" and sometimes things don't quite turned out as planned.

I remember having some spotting close to my due date. Not sure if that was the "bloody show", I asked my sister to take me to my doctor as my husband was at work. I didn't have any contractions and my water bag did not break. However, when my doctor checked me, she took out her wet gloved finger and told me that it had. (I thought that she must have broken my water bag during her examination).

And so I was checked into the labour room at about 5pm and given an enema. Still there were no contractions. Later on when my husband came, I could still talk and joke with him.

Eventually I was induced to speed things up. I remember the nurses kept on coming in my room to ask me if I wanted to have an epidural for my pain. "No" was my reply each time. We felt like they were trying to sell us something the way they kept coming back to ask again and again even after I said "No".

To cut a long story short, I got to 9 cm dilated when my doc came and told my husband with me within earshot, "You have to make a decision now, to go for emergency caesarean or you might lose either the mother or the baby. Its taking too long" Well, I didn't feel like it was taking too long and I felt like I could still go on and we were so close. Just another 1 cm to go! Still what sort of a choice do we have with a remark like that and so off we went to the operation room. It was past midnite by then.

I remember screaming very loudly in pain all the way as they wheeled me out of the labour room, down the corridor and into the elevator. It must have been quite a scene. (And I'm normally a soft spoken person.)

Someone asked what sort of anaesthetic to give me and another one hollered "General of course. Its too late for epidural. Can't you see she's in so much pain? That doctor...... " (they grumbled something about my doctor). They administered the needle and I was out cold.

When I came to, I was lying in a empty clinical room with several empty beds hearing my own deep breathing. I had to lie there cold and alone for about an hour thinking about my baby eager to see her for the first time.

Later my doctor told me "Your case would have been perfect if you had used epidural but you refused and your dilation was arrested because you were in too much pain and stress." I was not very happy about that and said "Then why didn't you have your nurses explain that to me when they came to ask me whether I wanted to have an epidural?" Sigh!

I read that some women feel less of a woman when they deliver via caesarean instead of naturally? Why on earth would they feel that? For me, it does not really matter how baby is delivered. The only thing that matters is that we have a healthy thriving baby.

I can't help but have the nagging feeling that my labour could have proceeded differently (Thoughts of "maybe my doc could have waited for more labour signs, maybe they should not have induced the contractions, maybe we could have continued trying, it was just 1 more cm etc haunts me at times). Oh well, like I said, at the end of the day, a healthy baby is more important and I cannot undo the process so there is no point pointing fingers at or blaming anyone.

My firstborn was delivered at about 2am, about 9 hours after I entered the labour room. I had to pay for the hourly use of the natural labour room plus caesarean operation charges plus after midnight charge for using the operating room after midnight. My baby was not coming into this world cheap.

Here is an excerpt from an article about caesarean birth taken from Epigee Women's Health. I think thats what happened in my case.

"The majority of cesarean sections are performed because of some difficulty arising during the labor and delivery process. You may be pushing with all your might, but baby still refuses to make her way down the birth canal. In cases like these, a c-section is often in order. During childbirth, your doctor will monitor you and your baby’s progress. If your cervix stops dilating (arrest of dilation) or if your baby is being stubborn about descending into the birth canal, your doctor may feel a c-section is necessary. It is hard on both you and the baby if labor is taking too long. To avoid extra complications, your doctor might suggest taking the baby out abdominally. In fact, 1/3 of all c-sections are performed because of slow labor. Also, if your baby’s heart beat suddenly becomes irregular a c-section could prevent her from becoming too stressed. "

Coming next: Vaginal Birth After Caesarean (or rather an "almost" attempt for one)

Related Post:

Elective Caesarean Under Epidural Anaesthesia

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