Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Guilt and Impatience

As a mother, the two emotions that I struggle with almost daily is GUILT and IMPATIENCE. Yes, EVERY single day, I struggle with these emotions.

Patience is certainly not one of my virtues. Now that I am a mother, I struggle with not having this virtue. You need patience to deal with children. Lots and lots of it. An overdose of patience is required.

I certainly need patience in my busy, rushed world. I need it BADLY! Worse still, I see my children turning into the Impatient monster that I am. They are beggining to shout and speak impatiently and go HMMMPRH! or let our a BIG SIGH! with hands on hips and all. I tell them that its very rude to speak that way but secretly, I realise that they learned it from ME!

And then the GUILT starts to creep in. Boy oh boy. Yes, the GUILT. Am I doing too much for them? Am I too controlling? Am I teaching them the right thing? I could go on and on. There is a 101 things to be guilty about and more! As a Stay At Home Mother who is at home with the kids 24 hours 7 days a week it is very hard to distance yourself and give your children the space they need to become independant and confident individuals. It is hard not to do too much for them and be too controlling in your own IMPATIENCE and sometimes you find that you lose it and then you feel GUILTY!

Help! I think I need to loosen up a little bit. Otherwise I will be eaten up by the monsters called IMPATIENCE and GUILT!

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  1. Before I had Ethan, I was the worst person to be with. I throw tantrum and lose temper like nobody's business. My students used to refer me as the HeadMonster. But the moment I got Ethan, all those just wash away. Maybe because Ethan is still young and not yet able to really fight back that I am still able to control my temper. But you have already realise your weaknesses. I understand about being at home with the kids 24 hours 7 days a week 365 days a year can somehow 'degrade' our once 'challenged' brain and thinking, but just tell yourself, this is all for them. I often complain to my hubs that I am 'rotting'.. but then, I see Ethan sleeps in his cot and it all makes sense again. Be patience, that is all I can say. It is easier said than done. But somehow, someone's got to do it. Take care!

  2. MG,
    sometimes it's ok to be feel like that, natural. We will never be as perfect as we wished!

    In a day, when you don't come across any problem...so you can be sure that you're traveling in a wrong path :)
    (this is an inspiring quote I've got from a friend)

  3. so spot on and the thing is, we mommies are human too. we have our bad days n good days. anyway, of course we have to remind ourselves constantly that we have to set a good role example for our kids but i feel we shouldn't do it too perfect too or else our kids won't really learnt the real thing?!. bottom line is, there need to be a balance. don't be too hard on yourself ya. tk care!

  4. MG, I cld hv written this post!

  5. Merryn,
    Its good that you changed for the better after Ethan. :)

    Thanks for the inspiring quotes. I love quotes. :)

    Thanks. I'm not being hard. I'm just too impatient! :P

    a&a's mom,
    lol. You too?

  6. Tell me about it, I am a terrible impatient monster mum too.... and I yell and say unkind words too. I need to shake this terrible habit off me ASAP before I have duplicate and triplicate MEs!!

  7. Health Freak Mommy,
    Alamak, yes, you will have triplicates!

  8. u certainly dun look like one leh ;)

    just chill and relax yeah ;)

  9. Sasha,
    Dun look like meh? Look cool calm and collected ah. Actually most of the time boiling one. Haha.

  10. oopss...i'm guilty of those, too. time to sit back and analyse things. i definitely need to hv more patience :(

  11. Ai-Ling,
    Don't analyse too hard or it'll drive you crazy. :)


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