Living on one income

I've had some readers write to me about being a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). They were afraid to take the "plunge" because they were afraid of the loss of financial freedom. I really do not know what to advise them because these things are intensely personal and depends on each individual. You really have to know what YOU want. I can only share how it is like for me.

I never really thought about how it would be like to live on one income before taking the "plunge". I knew I wanted to stay at home to look after the kids and my husband said he would support whatever decision I made at the time. I am not really sure because we never really talked about it very deeply, but I had the impression that my husband wouldn't mind or maybe even preferred to have a working wife. However, I think he sees the benefit of one who is staying at home and likes having one now for the sake of the children.

One of the benefits is we never have to worry about who has to take leave to look after the kids if they are sick and have to stay home and we don't have to worry about making after school arrangements for them. I think that removes that kind of stress away from us.

So how does it feel like to be living on one income? Not very different I guess. We are slightly better now compared to our "heydays" of living frugally. In those days, we didn't eat out (now we do but we are still careful about what we order and we usually just drink water) and we drove a 16-17 year old car. I had only one handbag (I still do) and I used to have just one pair of shoes (now I have a few but it does take some shelf space, one is better). My handphone is really old with no camera or other function (It is still really old with no camera or whatever function accept to make and receive calls).

We don't subscribe to pay TV (we still don't because we don't have the time to watch TV, not only does it save us money but it also helps prevents the kids from turning into TV addicts, they are bookworms instead), we don't take overseas  holidays (we still don't but we can still have lots of fun wherever we go or don't go). I don't frequent hair salons. (Last year, I cut my hair just once, this year twice so far. I can trim my own fringe if necessary. Actually, I hate the salon not because of the money involved but because of the time but it helps to save so might as well add it here.) And I don't have any spas or facials or manicure or pedicure or whatever cure. (My mind would probably be drifting to how my time is being wasted and all the things I could better do with my time then sit there having someone paint my fingernails and stick stickers or gems on it that would come off in the next instance when I do something with my hands. What a terrible waste of money).

Oh and I get to act like a little girl and put out my hand for cash whenever I need it. Hubby does not give me any money every month. He just passes me money to buy food when we are out. The rest of the time, he pays everything, the groceries, the bills, all sorts of children's school and activity fees, everything. So I don't really need money. We go shopping for clothes, once a year during Chinese New Year (that way the kids also feel the excitement and tradition of Chinese New Year).

Thanks to my blog, now I have a little pocket money in my Paypal to buy some things for the man as a surprise. I can buy online and have it delivered to the house. Otherwise, how do you buy something for someone who takes you out and pays for everything?

Have I scared anyone yet? ;) Anyway, these are small issues. The benefits are huge. The other day, someone I didn't know commented. "Your kids are really close to you. That is hard to find these days." That made me really happy. Please do not get me wrong. I am not saying that you cannot be close to your kids if you are a working mom. I know a lot of blogger mommies who are working moms but whom are really close with their kids because they make the effort. Why, my kids father is a working dad but he is close to his kids as well. He makes the effort to teach them and take them out etc. However, he does not have the benefit of time. There certainly isn't very much time in the morning and by the time he gets home, it is dinner, then bedtime for the kids.

Whether you are working or not is besides the point. However, for me, it just takes less effort that is all. I don' t have to worry about the next day's presentation or meeting when I am reading a bedtime story to them each night, for example. I believe that I will be a lot more stressed up trying to be there for them and still having to worry about bosses, colleagues, office politics or whatever. My focus would be split. Now, it isn't. I also have the advantage of time which my spouse does not have. I do feel fortunate indeed to be able to spend time with my kids.

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