Mother's Day

Mother's Day is next month. I think that Mother's Day should really be for those mothers who have a really tough time being a mother. Single Mothers as well as mothers who are also looking after a sick parent, spouse or child. Those are the mothers who really deserve a break and recognition on what a good job they are doing as mothers.

Most mothers, including myself, often complain about how hard it is to be a mother (although we really love to be one), we wished we had more "me time" etc. However compared to those other mothers who have it really tough, our "complaints" seem really petty.

I had a taste of it the other day. On that day, my child suddenly vomitted in her sleep. She had no cough, no stomach pains. The vomitting was sudden, projectile and in her sleep. Vomit was everywhere, on the floor, pillows, blankets, her hair... When I went to wake her up, she looked in a daze. I am not sure whether it was due to sleepiness. She said that she could not see me even though I had switched on all the lights. I quickly cleaned her up and passed her over to my husband for comfort but she complained of a very severe headache. After resting a while she vomitted again.

Now, in normal circumstances, this would not be of that much of a concern. However, the paeditrician advised us to see a child neurologist because of my own condition. I have epilepsy which is under control. Besides, any sudden vomitting and headache plus temporary loss of vision with no other symptoms is a cause for concern and could be the sign of a more serious underlying condition. My child had also mentioned that she "feels like she is dreaming" on a certain number of occassions. We were worried that these may be signs of an aura or seizure.

So we brought her to a child neuro who advised us to do an EEG. The EEG is a procedure which takes about 45 minutes. Preparation time is about 15 minutes that is putting gel and sticking wires all over the head. These wires are attached to a computer to monitor the electrical brain waves. Thats my very layman way of describing it. If you or someone you know ever need to do an EEG, you should consult your doctor if you wish to know more about it. It is a painless procedure but you are required to be in a sleep deprived state and fall asleep during the procedure if you can so that readings can be taken during sleep as well as wakefullness. So the poor girl had to lie all alone in a dark room with little wires stuck all over her head but she took it in her stride. She thought that it was rather amusing when the techinician asked her to blow into an equipment to create hyperventilation or when flashes of light were flashed on and off at her during the procedure.

I was very worried. I cried. I worried. I thought about all the negative things. What if? What if she had a serious condition? What if she had to take medication for it? She is so younng. What if it caused her to be drowsy half the time and not like the active child she is now? What if it broke up our family because husband and I could not take the stress? What if it caused us to become overprotective of her and neglect her brother? What if? Why? I am a little crazy like this, to think so far ahead but illnesses within the family can alter the family dynamics somewhat and you must really be very strong as a family unit to go through it together.

Fortunately the test came out negative and the doctor sent us home. However she mentioned that the tests are not conclusive, they are indicative but not conclusive and we still do not know what happened that night. Still, it is a relief that for now, she is alright.

On that day, we also had to get our maid to do her medical tests. So we went to 5 clinics in all. It was a crazy day. But it reminded me to be thankful. Be thankful for what we have now. Our family's health and wellbeing is so important. Everything else pales in comparison.

It also reminded me that how my complaints about how difficult it is being a mom to two young kids who quarrel all day long and drive me up the wall all day with their pestering and whining and how I wished I had more time for myself etc is nothing, NOTHING at all compared to other bigger things like when a child or a spouse, parent or grandparent has a serious illness or compared to those single mothers who have to handle all the hard moments of parenting without someone by their side or relief. Those mothers are the ones who truly deserve a Mother's Day.

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The greatest challenge of being a mother

I find that the greatest challenge of being a mother, so far, is the test of patience. Every day my patience is being challenged to its limit.

Now that my girl is 7, she is no longer cute. In fact, on certain days, if I may say this, she can get downright irritating and annoying.

If there is one word I can use to describe my child, that word would be "INQUISITIVE". She is inqusitive, very much so. I guess that is a good thing because it means that she loves to learn but in order to learn, she has to ask questions about anything and everything under the sun. I lose my patience quite often when that happens. I want to pull my hair and scream at her "ENOUGH ALREADY!"

Once she asked me "Mummy, what did you say about what I said about ... oh I don't know already." and she expects me to answer that!

Quite often, I find myself, rolling my eyes at her or shouting at her to stop it. Once, we got so frustrated, we even went to the extent of telling her that "You are limited to only 5 questions a day." (I know thats utterly terrible. Its just that my patience has been stretched to the limit) but of course that does not stop her. She asks more than 5 questions for each issue and then asks again in the next breath or minute.

She also must make sure that I hear her correctly. She would request that I repeat her question EXACTLY the way that she asks it word for word. I know she behaves this way because she is lacking in confidence, wants some attention and wants to learn. But that does not stop me from running out of patience!

Dealing with this day after day really tires me out. I want to be a good listener to her but no matter how much attention I give to her, it does not change her behaviour. I have really run out of ideas and patiences.

So I think patience is the best virtue of a mother and something I need to work on.

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