Failure to breastfeed does not translate to failure as a mum.
A mum wrote to me about her unhappiness at having to give up breastfeeding. I thought that I should share my reply to her and maybe, just maybe, this too will be able to help another mum in a similar situation.
There is also no reason for you to feel like you are a failure. You have tried your best. I am pro-breastfeeding but I don't like to push other people too hard, (only myself) because I know how that feels. Although my lactation consultant was very helpful, I sometimes felt that she pushed us too hard on occassions.
Sometimes a lactation consultant or another breastfeeding mum may inadvertently push their colleagues, friends or relatives too hard to breastfeed. I know they mean well and feel frustrated that their friend is not breastfeeding but sometimes that creates more stress for that person. I think support should be in the form of a listening ear, guidance in techniques, knowledge etc and should be no more than that.
Anyway, I'd like to point you to some other places for support. First go to babycenters article on "When You Just Can't Breastfeed". You should find this article useful. If you should need to "talk" to other mums in this situation perhaps you could join their formula feeding forum. Here's the link to some of the postings. I think you will probably be able to identify to some of what you read here.
One other thing, remember to look after yourself first for only if you are well taken care of can you look after your baby, spouse and household. Next concentrate your efforts on looking after your baby and spouse and last the housework. I tell my spouse that he is important but for now, baby's needs come before his and I let my house rot for the first few months.
Also remember that it is going to get easier and easier. I'm a good example. I remember during the early days, I probably didn't even step out of my apartment for the first 3 months or more as I couldn't cope. My toilet looked like a public toilet and I didn't do any cooking not even after 6 months. I only cooked for baby when they start solids as that took up a lot of time too while hubby and I relied on takeout food. Thats how I cut corners.
Ok. I've got to go. Take good care now.